Affecting the core...

I want to know.... when trying to work on core issues, does it always need to be so painful? I have been told that I need to work on affecting my core and in my current depression... I am feeling my core and it is painful.

Does this need to be this painful for me to "get it.?"

In my expereince working on core issues is usually painful, at least it has been for me. When in depression I sometimes feel like everything is painful and sturggle to find good things to talk about because when we are depressed it is uaually those painful core issues that cause us the most distress. Sometimes when I go to thereapy every now and then I make it a point to talk about something that I know makes me feel good or it would all be painful. I hope this helps because I struggle with the same thing and know how you might feel.

So is it better to stay in the pain? Even if there could be an antidepressant available?

SG, T said taking AD's helps lift my mood enought to allow the theraputic work to be more effective...

To get too the core, one has to pass through many layers...I just keep turning up to T and work through each new layer...its not something you can just get straight too...its not consious...the harder I try to reach what I think may be the core the more I feel I;m hitting a brick wall...

I know when its really painful and I loose sight of anything positive in life is when I really need to stop working so hard and just do something really good for myself...

((Secret))
I have not been in therapy all that long and have only touched on core issues; but when we have touched them, OUCH, they hurt a lot.

Like Mouse, my T has said that the anti-d's help lift the mood; especially when there is a family tendency and life circumstance contributing to the depression. The anti-d's have helped me be able to work as I was too miserable for even a therapeutic conversation to take place. However, this is such an individual thing that only you can decide for you. Remember, the body holds the memory and my T says the body never lies. So, depression is your body's way of telling you something.

I also like the idea of taking extra gentle care of yourself right now. Do good things for you. Read something trashy, take a bubble bath, take a long walk, swim; get a massage.

Please be good to yourself, Secret. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. It will be okay, I just know it. All you can do is the next right thing, right?

That would be ....errr ahhhhh.....now! lol. Put the pain is such that it is hard to do something good for myself. Too much anxiety right now. Ativan seems what I do to do something good for myself right now smidge by smidge. That is getting old.

I thought I was going through layers ...but now just hurts.

Thanks Mouse.... need something to help me lighten up. :-)

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sister said:
((Secret))

The anti-d's have helped me be able to work as I was too miserable for even a therapeutic conversation to take place.

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amen sister....

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I also like the idea of taking extra gentle care of yourself right now. Do good things for you. Read something trashy, take a bubble bath, take a long walk, swim; get a massage.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Been swimming and gyming more than usual. I really like the idea of a massage.

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Please be good to yourself, Secret. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. It will be okay, I just know it. All you can do is the next right thing, right?

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Thank you ever so much. Really.

I guess the trick is learning how to wear our troubles loosely? inside of being cloaked in them?

I was reading something today and this 1 paragraph just cracked me up...gotta put a bit of humour into a short existence on thos planet LOL!...


My best friend, Olivia, and I met in a fiction-writing class almost 20 years ago. We bonded in an instant during the discussion of one poor soul's incomprehensible story involving a woman who'd undergone surgery and was described delicately as having lost "that which made her a woman." Suddenly, out of my mouth sprang my impersonation of Monty Python's Eric Idle, "Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?" Every other student in the room looked at me as if I'd lost my mind, but Olivia snorted with laughter. Thus, a friendship was born....

sorry I have a wicked sense of humour at times that I forget may not be shared by others!

I love your sense of humor Mouse... You often make me smile. It is funny what can facilitate bonding...lol... nudge nudge wink wink.

Oh, wow, I was just going to suggest finding humor to support yourself while you work on core issues; that's what was/is most helpful to me. I literally laugh while I'm crying :-) I just latch on to anything "pleasant" or amusing I can about the situation or anything surrounding me. I'm like those cartoon holes that open up in the middle of the floor and everything gets sucked down into them, the rug, lamps, etc. My favorite movie for about 20-30 years after it came out was Mary Poppins :-)

Oh....Mary Poppins... might need to find that one... Lightens my heart just thing of it. Supercalifragilisticexpedaliosious... or something like that ... (that is Mary P)

(((secret)))

Yes, it is painful when working on core issues. It was hard on me. I would cry at work, fall deeper into depression, had my AD's increased and added a p-doc.

I've kind of put the core issue (relating to men) on the back burner for now and I am working on my ADD issues that impact my job. Mainly because I started a new job so I want to do this right.

However, in the back of my mind is the core issues. You might remember my T saying that it is 'better to feel the pain'...and how that affected me at the time.

I can say now that yes it is better to feel the pain but gosh while it is happening wow. It is so hard.

I like spa treatments at times like this. I'm sorry that you are feeling like this and needing to possibly switch.

Are you sure this can't be worked out with your current T? I only say this because I almost quit altogether. It was you and many others on this board that challenged me to stick it out.

If it hadn't been for you and the others I might not be having an upswing right now.

But if moving on is what you need to do then it just might take your therapy to a whole new level!

As for AD's honestly this made a huge difference in how I handled the pain. I did not have anxiety until Wellbutrin was added but once that stopped dealing was easier.

Sometimes when I feel as you do now I pop in a few oldie but goodie movies that I like such as The Wizard of Oz, Grease and The Honeymooners. You have to laugh at Ralph Cramden aka Jackie Gleason...he's a hoot.

(((((((((((((Secret))))))))))))))

This is so difficult.

There are times when I've had to tap into that and instinct has me to a) run fast and hard, or b) dissociate. I needed to stop that and "sit with the pain". It was/is horrible to do, BUT it helped me probably the most in my therapy.

Sit with it if you can, but you must be acutely aware when too much is occurring and have really good avenues for self-care...safe place, feel good acts, etc.

It is very hard, but can be very rewarding and I know that sounds ridiculous...

KD

KD...this sounds right on. I think there is a fine line between feeling the pain and sometimes how to care for ourselves... particularly with anxiety.

I feel better after all of this venting ... really.

We will see what tomorrow brings. Thanks.

Alameda... work has been difficult. Mainly I show up and try to stay focused. Thank you for your thoughtful post. Hope work is going well for you.

I think I am ready to wind down ... and ready for tomorrow.

Ah you know what Secret? Leaving my toxic job and finding something that fits with my goals and my personality is another reason for my upswing.

I was barely existing for the last 3 years at my previous job. May be time for a job change...I wonder what that would do for you...

Try and get some rest tonight. Pop in a soothing cd, close your eyes and let your mind wander to a happy place that you value.

Idea of job change is major anxiety producing.