How do you know your t cares?

He tells me he loves me every time he sees me. He also treats me like he loves me.

MIne told the entire town personal details of my life. Trauma's that I have NEVER TOLD ANYONE!!! To him it was a joke. Something that he thought repeating to others would make him look important for a day, a week, a month or a year. It WORKED!! The others ate it up!!! The rest of the town thought WOW!! He is a great therapist because he is telling us all about the freak. He makes us feel like we are special to be told this confidential information. And so the town ate it up and had enough gossip to discuss EVERY DAY FOR YEARS!!

I ask God to repay the one's responsible. I wake up to relive this every day.

I used to think mine loved me, and now I don't know if he even wants to see me as a client.

Years into this and I don't like the therapy relationship itself. I think it is inherently flawed. Tell me again how this works, put a needy unlovable feeling person in a close intimate (for them) relationship, have them fall in love with a person who is forbidden from loving them back, then ensue one way dialogue and unraveling heart break for the client as their "treatment."

What is this, some kind of what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger BS? Maybe taking my already broken heart and just exploding apart whatever shreds of it were left will somehow help?

It's taken me a long time (two years) to feel that she does....
But I feel that she cares in a professional, boundaried, limited way, and that's good!
She shows me she cares by...holding strong boundaries, asking me to trust her with difficult stuff and showing me that I can, remembering stuff just when I need her to, being calm, kind, and predictable.
I can email her between sessions if something is bad or if we've had a difficult session she says I can email her. Which I like, but I don't necessarily think that's a sign of caring or not. Just different approaches/boundaries/contracts/time!

hi loco,
my therapist cares for me cuz im her client and she has that motherly instinct inside of her cuz she has a grown son . she is also an experienced registered nurse . she and I connected the first time she started working with me on my issues . we do get along as client and counselor relationship . I would be lost without my therapist .



Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds: Cymbalta 60 mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia with an additional 25 mgs=75 mgs when up past 1:00 in the morning

My therapist knows everything, every single gorey detail of my past. We talk about transference a lot. In therapy I am completely numb, its automatic and I have no control over it but at night I find myself thinking of him to make me feel safe and though its not my intent, that 'day dream' or fantasy world I make up in my head turns sexual. I feel quite guilty about it and then feel the need to 'punish' over it but he says its normal given my past. I dont know.

My therapist knows as much as I'm able to share with him about my history. He knows my present self very well as he was the first person I was able to share the depth of suicidal ideation and self-loathing with.

It's very painful when you bring significant information or feelings to therapy and it feels like it's brushed over or not treated with the respect you feel like it should be. One of the ways I know my therapist cares for me, is that I'm able to be real and tell him when I feel like he's made a mistake, been harsh or misjudged something. Can you tell your therapist when you feel like she/he has brushed over something important? Do you feel like you can be authentic in therapy?

I've had a few therapists before, and I've felt "comfortable" in our therapeutic relationship, but I've never felt uniquely cared about. I think that there is an entire spectrum of caring in the therapeutic realm. I hope you can find what you are looking for.

He told me once how he was bullied so I believed he would understand my problems. Instead, it's led to him bullying ME!! When a T gets enjoyment out of manipulating you, there is no question that he doesn't care about me at all. My T is a sad case.

Mu psychotherapist seems to genuinely care. She asked if she could display some of my artwork in her office for a time and once even loaned me $20 so I could buy my medications. I really quite like her but I would stop short of saying I have a personal relationship with her.

My psychiatrist on the otherhand I perhaps have unnatural ideas about. He is a very attractive man with a very nice personality. I find myself entertaining thoughts of him - which bother me because I know they are wrong to have. It does occur to me though that I am not alone in my thoughts and that I am not special amongst his large group of patients.

For me a T:s caring is about the therapeutic holding and that she holds me even if I get mad at her or if I have a complaint about something that has happened in therapy. It´s also that she reminds important things I´ve said and that she shows a bit of a vulnerability by sharing some brief things from her own life.

I have wondered about T. She seemed to care about me but never actually came out and said it. I felt like she cared but also question my perception of others I am close to. The last few months I have had multiple medical issues as well as a few family issues one being about my child. T has gone way above and beyond what I pay her for. We have gone through periods where we are emailing daily. Some of them are initiated by her. Right now I do not knew where I would be without her support. She recently told me she cared to much to allow me to do something that she knew would be a HUGE mistake. At first I was angry that she questioned my choices but then I realized she had a valid point and her assertiveness came from a place of caring.

If he's 'bullying' you, why is he still your therapist?

Sorry if Im being too nosey, just wondering. No one should be bullied! Especially by the one person you are supposed to trust the most!

That is insane. Sorry about that.

She said " I love you, Pam" and I felt it was real.

She showed me by sharing our tears.

Never judged me even when I told her terrible, hideous things.

More similar events.

OR...... She was incredibly manipulative and I am very naive. Or a combination of both. When knows, but I thought I could.

That's what happened to me. It was neither healthy nor therapeutic. Was destructive.

In the the midst of it, I thought T cared. And she probably did in some uncertain way. But in the context of therapy what does that even mean? It is a role playing relationship, a simulation of an actual relationship. Authenticity can never be fully tested.

All these questions about did T care, did T love me… it all seems so perverse now.

I know my therapist cares because even though he has LOTS of patients and sees them back to back every hour; and my past is VERY long and VERY complicated...he remembers small details or a flying thought or comment I made.

He's invested.

Thanks for your response. You made a good point about being authentic in therapy. I struggle to be authentic because I am too preoccupied with being liked. Reality is my therapist is extremely caring, I just don't want to believe it.

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