Have you ever walked out of a therapy session?

AnxiousGirl · Feb 03, 2016, 02:10 PM

Last session we got into some pretty deep stuff and at one point it felt as if the room was getting smaller and smaller and I had the urge to ask my T if I could leave the room and get some air then come back.

I didn't do that however and just sat through the entire session feeling extremely anxious.

Have any of you walked out of session before? What did T say/do? Did you come back?

If I left anything out of the poll options feel free to add anything you like

Thanks!

unlockingsanity · Feb 03, 2016, 02:14 PM

One time, a former T who was always very kind, said something really mean an inappropriate out of frustration. I was shocked, hurt, and wanted to say something rude and/or just get up and leave, but I didn't.

RedSun · Feb 03, 2016, 02:44 PM

Yes, I walked out about 15 minutes in ( hour session).
I paid before I left though! T didn't take the money from me, so I had to put it on my chair, ****, it was horrible.

Out There · Feb 03, 2016, 02:50 PM

I haven't but I have felt like you mentioned , feeling emotional or unsettled or vulnerable. I'm sure my T would be OK with me going out to get some air or whatever I needed. I always try to tell myself I'm not the first client who ever felt like that or did that and T's are used to it and understand it.

AnxiousGirl · Feb 03, 2016, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Out There

I haven't but I have felt like you mentioned , feeling emotional or unsettled or vulnerable. I'm sure my T would be OK with me going out to get some air or whatever I needed. I always try to tell myself I'm not the first client who ever felt like that or did that and T's are used to it and understand it.

I tell myself that too, that T's are trained to deal with these sort of things. My T even told me once that a client left the room because it was getting intense. I dont know why I dont do it when I feel like I want to, I guess I'm afraid of what T might say. I would probably ask my T if I could leave instead of just walking out without saying anything.

Feb 03, 2016, 02:57 PM

I think walking out of therapy, and wanting to leave are very different. Especially, if you ask the therapist if you can leave.

atisketatasket · Feb 03, 2016, 03:02 PM

Never left, never wanted to leave. I figure they have to put up with me to earn their fee.

But Nos. 1 and 2 both offered breaks that involved taking a short walk outside the therapy room. As I did not need or want a break I declined.

Out There · Feb 03, 2016, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

I tell myself that too, that T's are trained to deal with these sort of things. My T even told me once that a client left the room because it was getting intense. I dont know why I dont do it when I feel like I want to, I guess I'm afraid of what T might say. I would probably ask my T if I could leave instead of just walking out without saying anything.

Yes , I understand it's a fear of what the T might say or how they might react , and then trying to convince yourself they are trained to deal with that. The emotional part says one thing and the rational part says something else. Not easy !

Feb 03, 2016, 03:08 PM

No, but I have came close to walking out.

Cinnamon_Stick · Feb 03, 2016, 03:08 PM

I did with my ex-T. She was always touching me during our sessions when I didn't want her to and asked her to stop. I only had a handful of sessions with her. During the last session I had with her she was touching me and I kept asking her to please stop and move her chair away from me (it was always next to my chair) and she laughed at me and said "Oh come on, you don't mean that" and grabbed my arm. I stood up, told her to get away from me and walked out. I slammed her door so hard I thought it was going to fall off. I did not go back to her.

With my current T I have never walked out. I have gotten the urge to as things sometimes get really intense but I know its best for me to stay and work it out.

AnxiousGirl · Feb 03, 2016, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

I did with my ex-T. She was always touching me during our sessions when I didn't want her to and asked her to stop. I only had a handful of sessions with her. During the last session I had with her she was touching me and I kept asking her to please stop and move her chair away from me (it was always next to my chair) and she laughed at me and said "Oh come on, you don't mean that" and grabbed my arm. I stood up, told her to get away from me and walked out. I slammed her door so hard I thought it was going to fall off.

With my current T I have never walked out. I have gotten the urge to as things sometimes get really intense but I know its best for me to stay and work it out.

Wow that must have been really tough to deal with. Sorry you had to go through that, I would have 100% done the same!

I usually get the urge whenever we discuss scary/intense topics. Sometimes I dissociate a lot so I feel like im not even there, but other times I want to ask my T if I could just step out for 5 minutes to get some fresh air but Im afraid all my T would say is "lets do breathing exercises" which will just make me more anxious!
I guess ill never know unless I try. This time if the same urge happens, Im going to be honest with T and ask to step outside, it is my right.

bolair811 · Feb 03, 2016, 03:30 PM

I've not had an urge to walk out, but there were times with ex-T that I would ask to get a drink of water or go to the restroom if I needed a mental break. With current T, whenever I get really anxious or overwhelmed, I tend to scrunch up in a ball in the corner of my oversized chair as tight as I can and hug the throw pillow. And pick at my fingernails or play with a koosh ball.

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ejayy78 · Feb 03, 2016, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

Last session we got into some pretty deep stuff and at one point it felt as if the room was getting smaller and smaller and I had the urge to ask my T if I could leave the room and get some air then come back.

I didn't do that however and just sat through the entire session feeling extremely anxious.

Have any of you walked out of session before? What did T say/do? Did you come back?

If I left anything out of the poll options feel free to add anything you like

Thanks!

I feel like this a lot. I have only walked out once and then called my t later that day, but it was for a reason unrelated to anxiety (I misunderstood something she said). She was genuinely concerned about why I left because I didn't say anything. I just got up and walked out.

A lot of times I feel like the room is shrinking but my t seems farther and farther away. This usually happens when we talk about my past. I haven't actually left because of this but I've told her that I want to. She encourages me to stay and work through how I'm feeling, mostly because she's worried for my safety (usually this precedes me dissociating completely) but also because she believes healing can take place in a radical way when I'm at my most vulnerable state. I've taken her word for it because I truest her, but usually I don't feel like there's been any "healing," just a lot of yucky feelings and then I have to leave and deal with it on my own for the next two weeks until I see her again

Know One · Feb 03, 2016, 03:56 PM

Yes, I walked out on the first appointment because the new therapist was abusive exactly like my mother. B**** extraordinaire.

I demanded and got a new therapist.

Cinnamon_Stick · Feb 03, 2016, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

Wow that must have been really tough to deal with. Sorry you had to go through that, I would have 100% done the same!

I usually get the urge whenever we discuss scary/intense topics. Sometimes I dissociate a lot so I feel like im not even there, but other times I want to ask my T if I could just step out for 5 minutes to get some fresh air but Im afraid all my T would say is "lets do breathing exercises" which will just make me more anxious!
I guess ill never know unless I try. This time if the same urge happens, Im going to be honest with T and ask to step outside, it is my right.

It was very tough because I have always had issues with touch my whole life and to have a therapist keep touching me when I asked her to stop several times made my issues around touch worse. My current T says she is happy I yelled at ex-T and told her to stop and left her office. She is glad I used my voice because sometimes its hard to assertive.

I think its fine if you want to step out for minute. I think T's are used to that.

AnxiousGirl · Feb 03, 2016, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

It was very tough because I have always had issues with touch my whole life and to have a therapist keep touching me when I asked her to stop several times made my issues around touch worse. My current T says she is happy I yelled at ex-T and told her to stop and left her office. She is glad I used my voice because sometimes its hard to assertive.

I think its fine if you want to step out for minute. I think T's are used to that.

Yeah I agree. It was good that you stood up and left because you didn't feel comfortable and clearly your Ex T wasn't making you feel good either. It is extremely hard to be assertive, and I have that issue. I tend to let people walk all over me only to please them. It sucks

But next time for sure ill tell my T if it gets too much if I could step out for a second or two. I'm sure T won't mind at all, and besides, it might open up a whole new door for us too! *no pun intended*

Nammu · Feb 03, 2016, 05:53 PM

When I was doing trauma work it got too intense and I couldn't sit in a closed room any longer. I ran outside where I walked around a bit and went back about 5 minutes before time was up. she said she understood and gave me some calming relaxation exercises for home work.

AnxiousGirl · Feb 03, 2016, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

When I was doing trauma work it got too intense and I couldn't sit in a closed room any longer. I ran outside where I walked around a bit and went back about 5 minutes before time was up. she said she understood and gave me some calming relaxation exercises for home work.

So I'm guessing that T's are used to this type of reaction then. I just wish I had asked for some fresh air when I needed it because the entire session was too intense and I felt like the fresh air would have helped me out. I just wasn't sure how to ask.

Feb 03, 2016, 07:31 PM

Yes - the first t I saw, I went with my parents when I was in college, and he was a jerkwad who tried to make me say something that wasn't true, so I told him I would not do that and stood up and walked out leaving my mother sitting there with her mouth hanging open. I did not go back. At some point a year or so later I tried again with my own t, I never walked out on her, but instead after a few months of getting nowhere, not being able to talk, no connection at all, I cancelled an appointment and never went back. One time when talking to current t on a phone session, she got frustrated with me and sorta yelled and I got upset and hung up on her, that's sorta like walking out I guess. But I did go back - called her a few miserable days later to apologize and she's still my t like 2 years later.

Cinnamon_Stick · Feb 03, 2016, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

Yeah I agree. It was good that you stood up and left because you didn't feel comfortable and clearly your Ex T wasn't making you feel good either. It is extremely hard to be assertive, and I have that issue. I tend to let people walk all over me only to please them. It sucks

But next time for sure ill tell my T if it gets too much if I could step out for a second or two. I'm sure T won't mind at all, and besides, it might open up a whole new door for us too! *no pun intended*

Thank you. I hope you can become more assertive. Maybe it's something you could ask your T for advice about.

I am sure your T won't mind if you step out. Are you going to tell her first?

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AnxiousGirl · Feb 03, 2016, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

Thank you. I hope you can become more assertive. Maybe it's something you could ask your T for advice about.

I am sure your T won't mind if you step out. Are you going to tell her first?

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The thing is, after my last session, I sort of realized that I never say what I feel. Last session like I said, was so hard and intense that I wanted to ask my T if I could step out.

Yeah I dont think I would run out or stomp out or anything like that, I would just kindly ask my T if I could go into the hallway for a while alone to gather myself. I know this is stupid but I'm actually anxious about asking if I need to because what if my T says no? What if my T says that we should work through it in the session? I know Im overthinking this way too much but it's still a thought.

JaneTennison1 · Feb 03, 2016, 07:50 PM

You don't have to ask for permission. You are allowed to say that you just need a minute, it's not stomping out or being rude. It's ok to ask for what you need.

AnxiousGirl · Feb 03, 2016, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneTennison1

You don't have to ask for permission. You are allowed to say that you just need a minute, it's not stomping out or being rude. It's ok to ask for what you need.

Yeah I guess I equate saying I need a minute to asking permission. I just won't walk out without saying anything.

JaneTennison1 · Feb 03, 2016, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

Yeah I guess I equate saying I need a minute to asking permission. I just won't walk out without saying anything.

Yes it's just when you worry she will say no. Well she can't say yes or no to a statement of something you intend to do. I know being assertive is hard. Maybe T is a place you can practice it in which you will be safe.

It's not selfish or rude to need a minute and any T or person willing to respect you will respect tht.

AnxiousGirl · Feb 03, 2016, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneTennison1

Yes it's just when you worry she will say no. Well she can't say yes or no to a statement of something you intend to do. I know being assertive is hard. Maybe T is a place you can practice it in which you will be safe.

It's not selfish or rude to need a minute and any T or person willing to respect you will respect tht.

You're right

Thank you!

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