[musinglizzy]

I'm trying to remember her name on here. The one who had decided to go back to her old male T, who some said was toxic to her. He make some sexual comments and things. Has she/you gone back yet?

Winenot? or something like that? I might have that wrong.

[musinglizzy]

Yup! I think so! Thank you! I knew I'd remember if I saw it.
Winenot, I've been thinking about you, have you gone back?

[Gavinandnikki]

Yes, it is winenot. Her old therapist is a dirty old man and I saw no benefit in her going back to him.

Except to flirt.

[divine1966]

She was advised not to do so. I sure hope she didn't

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm here. I did go back to see him, and have been since August. I've done a lot of changing (I feel) in that time apart from him, and even since I've been back, to now. I'm not sure how much, if any, I would contribute to him. I see him because I want to. Because I get something out of it, and he knows this. I've long since stopped wanting or wishing he was anyone than what he is. Which also has put me in a more realistic mindset.

So, it didn't surprise me when things finally turned a different page. I had signed up for a site where you post erotic-type photos (I have a couple of reasons for doing this, and don't feel like going into it). But I mentioned it to him, and he asked to see it. I even told him there were nudes, but he was like, "Yeah, I've seen plenty of tits before, nothing new." So I showed him. He said I looked good, but honestly didn't seem that excited or even into it at all. He sat and analyzed every single photo and even my profile and some of the friends on there. It was fun to have his opinion.

I went back the other night, and, lo and behold, he wanted to see more pictures, but interestingly enough asked in a way in which he didn't appear to be asking (but actually was, because I'm smart and can read between the lines). So, then I asked, "Did you want to see more?" I let him see more. I see where this could possibly be going...I'm not dumb. I'm sure there was a part of me that was hoping this would happen, but I also realize that this is just an easy way to get his rocks off without much effort on his part, and that in no way should I consider it flattering or even validating. And you know what? It's almost not. It's almost insulting. I can't even decide how I feel. There were definitely a couple of times where I could have made a move, and I chickened out completely.

I already know what everyone is going to say to this, so I'm hesitant to even write about it. I know it's wrong. I'm not sure how much I'm even still jazzed by him. I run my own sessions now, so a lot of the time we just end up debating about topics and whatever, which is nice, because I don't have anyone to do that with. I guess I'll just ride this train until it dies. I probably sound insane, but oh well. I'm just exploring. At least I'm not crying or depressed about it anymore. I'm actually really glad to say that. I'm doing pretty well in all of my non-therapy related life. My family and friends have all been proud of my change and in attitude. I really do try. I'm just not perfect, and that's okay, too.

Wow. You REALLY need to get away from that therapist Winenot. He is all sorts of unethical and creepy. Needs to be reported actually.

This is so sad. It sounds like Winenot is so used to being used as an object of sexual gratification, she is actively seeking out relationships that confirm, rather than change this. That T is scum.

[junkDNA]

please report this man. he could be hurting other people. even if you are ok with it, others may not be and may not know how to get out

Originally Posted by junkDNA

please report this man. he could be hurting other people. even if you are ok with it, others may not be and may not know how to get out

This. This a million times. Well said JunkDNA.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by CassyO

This is so sad. It sounds like Winenot is so used to being used as an object of sexual gratification, she is actively seeking out relationships that confirm, rather than change this. That T is scum.

I agree I am glad to hear you are not depressed anymore, but this is SO WRONG on so many levels.

[precaryous]

When PerpDoc was interested in me...it made me feel powerful. I did not feel "Powerful" often. I had something he wanted. I could give it, or not.

[musinglizzy]

winenot, I just want to send you a big HUG!

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by precaryous

When PerpDoc was interested in me...it made me feel powerful. I did not feel "Powerful" often. I had something he wanted. I could give it, or not.

That is very honest, and very interesting. Its like he was cultivating evil in you, instead of helping you find the good and the strength within yourself. But it was a false power, like a deal with the devil. Wow. Thats like an attack on your personal moral values, apart from anything physical or sexual. Messing with your head.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by unaluna

That is very honest, and very interesting. Its like he was cultivating evil in you, instead of helping you find the good and the strength within yourself. But it was a false power, like a deal with the devil. Wow. Thats like an attack on your personal moral values, apart from anything physical or sexual. Messing with your head.

I'm sorry if this (below) vvvvv. Turned out preachy. I didn't mean it that way. I just started writing and the words fell out... Sorry, wasn't meaning it offensive, unaluna. ❤️
-----
I agree. I did compromise my moral values when I was with him. I felt powerful, I felt he raised my esteem, I felt special, I felt alive. I was a depressed/prev abused person - given all these exciting, new feelings. Just imagine- what I wouldn't do to continue feeling those feelings. My personal/moral boundary was abandoned. He made it feel like that was ok.

It's like a drug. It's like an addiction. At least, that's how it felt to me.

That made the fall so much harder when he suddenly changed...and I asked him why. He said he would let me know if he ever wanted to "be" with me again. In the meantime, he was still collecting insurance money by trying to still treat me as a patient.

"Why did our sexual/personal relationship stop?" He said he felt sorry for me like he felt sorry for street people. He told the medical board I was a known prostitute. He scolded me saying, "You told me you could handle this.."....making it my fault...which made my fall that much harder. It's a wonder I didn't crack.---------

I'm saying all this because -maybe I have an understanding of winenot's situation. Maybe I'm all wrong:

it's difficult to leave the situation while you are in it...you almost need someone ethical to reach in and pull you out... Or, if the PerpDoc ends the relationship...there you are..alone with no one to talk to who understands these kinds of relationships. You don't know who to trust. You become afraid someone else-a professional, maybe- will take the matter out of your hands and report PerpDoc.

Maybe you feel that PerpDoc is a good man who just made a mistake. You don't want him to lose his job, his license, his family. You don't want him to go to prison.

Meanwhile, There's all of your business out for everyone to see. It's tough to explain to family, the police and the licensing board. You are a mental health patient- will others find your situation credible? Who is going to believe you?

You think about these things. You want control over all that. Many do not tell.

[unlockingsanity]

I am completely shocked by this entire thread.

[Bipolar Warrior]

Originally Posted by precaryous

"Why did our sexual/personal relationship stop?" He said he felt sorry for me like he felt sorry for street people. He told the medical board I was a known prostitute. He scolded me saying, "You told me you could handle this.."....making it my fault...which made my fall that much harder. It's a wonder I didn't crack.---------

That is actually sickening. Please tell me he did not get away with that?

This thread doesn't shock me, but it does make me sad.

[divine1966]

I sure hope he doesn't see minors or anyone in a Vulnerable state of mind. Sad

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by precaryous

I agree. I did compromise my moral values when I was with him. I felt powerful, I felt he raised my esteem, I felt special, I felt alive. I was a depressed/prev abused person - given all these exciting, new feelings. Just imagine- what I wouldn't do to continue feeling those feelings. My personal/moral boundary was abandoned. He made it feel like that was ok.

It's like a drug. It's like an addiction. At least, that's how it felt to me.

That made the fall so much harder when he suddenly changed...and I asked him why. He said he would let me know if he ever wanted to "be" with me again. In the meantime, he was still collecting insurance money by trying to still treat me as a patient.

"Why did our sexual/personal relationship stop?" He said he felt sorry for me like he felt sorry for street people. He told the medical board I was a known prostitute. He scolded me saying, "You told me you could handle this.."....making it my fault...which made my fall that much harder. It's a wonder I didn't crack.---------

I'm saying all this because -maybe I have an understanding of winenot's situation. Maybe I'm all wrong:

it's difficult to leave the situation while you are in it...you almost need someone ethical to reach in and pull you out... Or, if the PerpDoc ends the relationship...there you are..alone with no one to talk to who understands these kinds of relationships. You don't know who to trust. You become afraid someone else-a professional, maybe- will take the matter out of your hands and report PerpDoc.

Maybe you feel that PerpDoc is a good man who just made a mistake. You don't want him to lose his job, his license, his family. You don't want him to go to prison.

Meanwhile, There's all of your business out for everyone to see. It's tough to explain to family, the police and the licensing board. You are a mental health patient- will others find your situation credible? Who is going to believe you?

You think about these things. You want control over all that. Many do not tell.

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that...it does sound awful. And because it's awful is exactly why I wouldn't report him. I've been seeing him for so long that I feel pretty comfortable sharing stuff like this (sexual-related) with him, so maybe all of this so far has just been a "friendly" exchange. Of course it's ****ed up that I have to pay him, but so far I don't feel that he's really said much this time around disrespectful. He hasn't forced me to do anything, it's all been of my own accord.

But even if our relationship did progress, I don't think I could report him. It sounds like a lot of work, and worry, like you stated above. Money. Time. Honestly I don't care enough about him that much to make my life that much more inconvenient. Like yeah, this could maybe end up hurting me again somehow, but I'll get through it like I do with anything else in life. It's really the bottom line, therapist or not, people are going to be ****** and do ****** things. They'll hurt you. We just have to change how we deal with it. I went back to him because I wanted to.

Maybe I'm completely wrong and just trapped in it, and just can't see. It could be a possibility, and I'm not too narrow-minded to admit it. I think he's just pushing things as far as he can get away with, knowing full well we will never be together. This might sound ridiculous, but all he was doing was just looking at pictures. I don't know FOR SURE if this is even worth mentioning. It seems like such a small incident than what happened to precaryous. I don't think it will go any farther. I'd be downright shocked, floored, on the ground, if it did.

[precaryous]

It didn't start out big. It started- probably with me talking about my attachment to him. I was loyal. My life circled around my appointment. Now, looking back, it is to my disgrace realizing I trusted him so much I took my 14 year old daughter to see him. My father died, so then I sent my grieving. Mother to see him.

Next came him asking me to relate sexual fantasy material...long dramatic hugs (his), other sexual innuendo. He wanted to listen to my heart so he unbuttoned my shirt buttons....that seemed unusual, but he's an MD, I didn't know for sure if it was right or not. Little things. Lead to bigger things.

Take care.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by Bipolar Warrior

That is actually sickening. Please tell me he did not get away with that?

This thread doesn't shock me, but it does make me sad.

The relationship with Pdoc confused and hurt me so much, I ended up consulting with a female psychologist. She hospitalized me. The day I was released I came home and a friend came over. He carried a copy of the local paper saying PerpDoc had been arrested for doing outrageous unlawful things with a young adult female patient.
<<which was not me..it was with someone else...while I was in the hospital! >>

Later I found out I was second of seven women to come forward about this one doctor. I was told that when a psychiatrist offends like this it's usually not just with one patient. There are usually multiple victims.

The legal system was another trauma.
The DA decided to drop the criminal charges due to lack of evidence. Perp doc never went to prison.

The medical board revoked his license in one state, but I searched and found he still had an active license in NY. I contacted them, sent them info about his revocation.....and they revoked his license, too. It makes me angry that the states medical boards don't know what each other is doing...They would have let him practice if I hadn't said anything.

The civil case was long, convoluted and expensive. I had to travel to three or four cities for depositions. I had to pay for my own gas and motel. I was required to attend his deposition. Mine were audio/video taped separately.
Ends up he didn't have malpractice insurance.

I turned him into Medicare and Medicaid. They sanctioned him- they would not let him be a Medicare or Medicaid provider.

I took it as far as I could...legally.

[JaneTennison1]

Originally Posted by winenot3

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that...it does sound awful. And because it's awful is exactly why I wouldn't report him. I've been seeing him for so long that I feel pretty comfortable sharing stuff like this (sexual-related) with him, so maybe all of this so far has just been a "friendly" exchange. Of course it's ****ed up that I have to pay him, but so far I don't feel that he's really said much this time around disrespectful. He hasn't forced me to do anything, it's all been of my own accord.

But even if our relationship did progress, I don't think I could report him. It sounds like a lot of work, and worry, like you stated above. Money. Time. Honestly I don't care enough about him that much to make my life that much more inconvenient. Like yeah, this could maybe end up hurting me again somehow, but I'll get through it like I do with anything else in life. It's really the bottom line, therapist or not, people are going to be ****** and do ****** things. They'll hurt you. We just have to change how we deal with it. I went back to him because I wanted to.

Maybe I'm completely wrong and just trapped in it, and just can't see. It could be a possibility, and I'm not too narrow-minded to admit it. I think he's just pushing things as far as he can get away with, knowing full well we will never be together. This might sound ridiculous, but all he was doing was just looking at pictures. I don't know FOR SURE if this is even worth mentioning. It seems like such a small incident than what happened to precaryous. I don't think it will go any farther. I'd be downright shocked, floored, on the ground, if it did.

More than likely he will abuse you and what is worse is he is grooming you to think you want this. To think you are loyal and would never report him. I promise you are not the first or last he has done this too. It's like watching a car crash about to happen.

I guess I just never thought it would ever have come to even this. I've been obsessed with the dude for like three years, and I'm sure he knows it. I'm just not sure how much I want it, now that I'm presented with a tiny slice. It's tempting, because I love dangerous things, but I think there is a part of me that is scared. This man, old enough to be my father (or even grandfather) all of a sudden coming THAT close to me. I don't know. It does feel weird, and I didn't think it would. But I'm still not entirely grossed out, either.

I don't know. I guess it goes to show how fantasy is something you that you can cling to so hard, and when presented with reality, it can get quite disappointing. Maybe it's better just left alone. Because, like...once you cross that invisible line, you can't really uncross it. Everything becomes blurry.

[junkDNA]

my situation built up gradually as well. my former T would tell me i was much more alive and conversational when i finally got off drugs. he would tell me to wear shorts to his office because i never wore shorts (i had a severe eating disorder at the time). then we would email a lot. which then turned to phone calls. several sexual remarks were made... i was admitted to a hospital and he would call me every night. after i got out and saw him again was when he told me how he felt about me. like precaryous, i was excited. i felt special. he picked ME!!! i must be worth something. but it quickly faded into a nightmare. he picked me because i was weak, vulnerable, easily manipulated. plus he had groomed me for years ever since i was a teenager. im sure he thought this out for a long time before it began. waiting for the perfect moment.

i totally understand the allure of going forward with this as i think ive said to you before. its not a matter of if youre going to get hurt, its a matter of when, in my opinion. yes, the fantasy is so much better than the reality... trust me... hes doing this because he knows your feelings about him.. and he is playing games with you. he is ****ing with you wine not and getting off on it.

what are you getting out of it?? im sure theres something you are receiving from all this that feels good. and theres nothing wrong with that. i think it would be wise to think about what it is that you are trying to accomplish for yourself. i sincerely hope that you dont go any further with this... and i am also very concerned about if someone else is going through this with your therapist. this man is more than likely hurting other people and thats what pains me... so many stay silent... this man needs to be removed from his profession because he seems like a predator

[divine1966]

He is definitely going exact same thing with others. Making social comments and looking at pics etc it could be the others resist and drop him but you keep coming back. It probably excites him. He is sick. I'd directly ask him what he gets out of looking at your naked pics and if he does it others.