Couch 117: Come On In and Set-tee A While

Yes, I've had a lot of problems with insurance too. I hope you get some answers soon.

Is it possible he started late with her for whatever reason? So maybe he's just giving her the usual 50 minutes, but didn't start until 10 after the hour? I'd definitely talk to him about it if it bothers you.

My individual T is very punctual, but my marriage counselor is usually late--I'm just used to it at this point. He also gives us extra time sometimes, so I figure it's OK if he gives it to others on occasion (and I think he tends to run late in getting to the office, so sometimes it's just that). But I definitely understand if it seems like he's always giving that one client before you extra time...

Well right now I can use my hand and arm as long as I don't lift or straighten it. But after surgery I won't be able to use even my hand for weeks. Its a really tough choice. I guess it will depend what Dr says tomorrow.
And realistically, I'm going to be working no matter what I do. The question is how hard its going to bem my technician can do some stuff but not everything

ETA: I'll do what the surgeon recommends . the way the tear looked on MRI he thought waiting til winter was OK. But something's changed. If he says don't wait I'll do it now. Honestly I can't handle 6 more months of how it hurts right now

my session was so pathetic.
i feel like crying.
He came late 3rd time in a row with the same client. she comes out with him ...she gives me a look ...then walks off.
i feel insulted...insignificant...meaningless...she takes 10 mins of my time...she knows it..she always finds me out there waiting...and its like hahah..our conversation was way more important than YOU ! so YOU must wait here till WE finish and then its your turn.
its like they slap me in the face...that u r nothing..even though i make appts , am on time..and pay just like her.
but it seems to be of little value i guess. it is evident whatever they have going on..is more important.

he didnt apologize for starting late with me..at all..just walked in...how was ur weekend...i was like whatever..really? do u care? i actually wanted to cut the session right hten..and just leave..it just seemed so...fake..becuase he just had to change gears fast from her to me.
and i felt it.
i hung in there...i just couldnt say anything to him.

Did you talk to your therapist about the regularity of your sessions starting late and how that feels to you?

he makes up the time...what bothers me is HER ..the look she gives me..the superiority vibe...and the fact that T gives her a chance to do it. if he ended ontime...i dont have to see her at all. i wouldnt feel so small in front of her.
i feel like its a competition ..who is more important..and worthy of time..so far she is winning...if we were equal to T...he would start each of us on time and end on time.
i have changed my appt. time because of this...

everything has been going on so great with me...and now this stupid thing has messed me up !

[QUOTE=incas;5148996]he makes up the time...what bothers me is HER ..the look she gives me..the superiority vibe...and the fact that T gives her a chance to do it. if he ended ontime...i dont have to see her at all. i wouldnt feel so small in front of her.
i feel like its a competition ..who is more important..and worthy of time..so far she is winning...if we were equal to T...he would start each of us on time and end on time.
i have changed my appt. time because of this...[/QUOTE

But if he makes up.the time then isn't he also.late for the person after you?,and the person after that?? So maybe he is just nor very organized/punctual]

Perhaps he started her appointment late.

[QUOTE=BayBrony;5149001]he caught up...there was no one after me when i left.

one time he went over few mins. with me. and i felt it was forced. i was getting up to leave..and he geos..i want to add one more thing..and he said somethign pretty useless that i dont even remember...but it wasnt importatn enough to make the next person wait..when i left..i saw a guy sitting in waiting area..i felt really bad for taking up few mins. of his time.
another time T was late and coming out with a client..the lady was so sweet..that she actually whispered sorry to me..when she passed by...i just smiled at her..and said itsok...

3 times in a row?

Yes - if he has started to just run late - it could easily be 3 times in a row. He could have some new thing in his life causing his lateness or some other client making the day run late. I am not saying that being late would not be upsetting - I am saying it may have nothing at all to do with that particular client.
I would tell him that it was upsetting and if it bothered me enough - I would try to pick a new day and time. I would not try to guess the other client's intentions or mindset about it.

The thing is, some people are bothered by this, some are not. Some people apologize to the next person, some act mean. The T doesn't know what YOUR particular situation and reaction is unless you tell him. Therapy is about getting the guts and building the relationship with your t so that you ARE able to have difficult conversations like this with him. Then, sometime in the future, when it comes time to have a difficult conversation IRL, you / I think, I got this! I've done this before. That's how it's worked for me.

My interview went well. The principal said she was just appointed to the school and shadowed the principal at my school to learn to be a principal. She also said she is best friends with the AP at my school. Small world, the chances of all this happening are pretty slim as I work in a fairly large school district (we have 40-50 elementary schools, 15-20 middle schools, and 12-15 high schools). We have 3 area superintendents that help the main superintendent out though.

While I was in that interview I got another interview call for tomorrow. They offered me 10:30 (but I have T till 10:30, so I asked if they had anything a little later. They offered me 11:30, so I took that time. We'll see how that one goes.

Brony, can you hire a tech to do the heavy lifting while you supervise?

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U r right. He does know it bothers me though.
I will fall apart talking about this
It will be too much..its too personal.
I am afraid he will resent me if i told him how much this bothers me. He may seem understanding on the surface...but may punish me in session later.

He doesnt need me as much as i need him . I m afraid to upset/lose him.

We r working on assertiveness currently...n if hes doing this intentionally to see if i ll speak up. Its the worst thing ever!!

incas: Isn't this the T you brought up your rupture with recently and it sounded like you weren't able to resolve it?

I think more than whatever's going on with T -- which is important, sure -- I would find it useful to just look at what it brings up for me internally (as in, why such an intense response to the other client etc).

Then depending on whether or not I think it would be useful to share it with the T (as in, both comfort level in bringing it up as well as whether or not you think the T would have anything useful to add to whatever you figure out on your own), you could consider sharing it (or not). But, either way, the real value I think (both in terms of the insight and gaining a sense of empowerment) is in trying to figure out for yourself what exactly this brings up / where it comes from for you.

For what it's worth, I do think your T needs to apologize for starting 10 mins late (that's not just a minute or two). And, since this is something verifiable -- starting 10 mins late -- I would ask the T as to what is going on that he hasn't bothered to offer an apology.

Good luck and hugs...

That's the plan but there are still some things like joint Injections and surgery that I have to do and I haven't figured our how I'll do then one handed yet

Could you partner with a another vet's office in the area temporarily? Trade some of your heavy work for their light work?
Other than that... Creative scheduling? Hopefully the arm won't be completely out of commission for too too long and you'll be able to get back to close work that requires expertise but not strength sooner rather than later...

I just got out of the dentist - I had the caps on my front teeth that I broke as a kid replaced, and a couple fillings underneath.
I lived up to my username, shook like a madwoman the whole way through. The poor dentist kept asking me if I was okay to continue. I'm like, yeah, I'm Just Shakey

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You are absolutely right...he had said last session that he ll look in his notes to see the sequence of events and see if he wrote anything regards to what i was talking about.

He didnt mention a thing about it today.
I also stayed quiet maybe he doesnt have anything to say on it.
Or he forgot ...as he didnt have time to review notes because of u know who.

I will try to journal and see if i can figure out my reaction n where its coming from.

I must stop reading the Top 10 lists on the net. I was reading the top 10 fantasy books and Stephen Donaldson was not on it anywhere. Who are the philistines that compose these lists? Ursula Le Guin wasn't there either.

Hardly slept last night. Dreamimg of my brother again. Tried to tell T but words wouldn't come out, just sat there growling and squeaking. T said something about words getting caught in my throat.

Also spent most of my GP appt talking about chocolate. Very surreal.