Couch 121: An Intimate Chat.

Well look at that. There are blow dry yurts right here in my village! I never knew.

Are they biocal contacts? My ex found them useless. I use magnifier glases with my contacts.

I forgot how absolutely exhausting in-person teaching is.

Ooh ooh I found one not far from me. I'm excited. They do a scalp massage for $10 I am gonna make an appt.

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How have I never heard of this? Lol

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omg im just so stressed out and having massive panic attacks im freaking out big .out of control . like i cant live in my house . im so so unhappy and feeling like i hate myself and my life . im feeling so sorry for myself its pathetic . my husband is cowering in his chair as i freak . not saying anything . oh so freaking helpful .

(((granite)))

omg I love orange cauliflower. I've been wanting to try it for awhile, but never had until now. It is delish!!

Now that I'm home again, shall I make myself feel stupid by re-reading the word-vomit-wall-of-text I sent t Saturday night?

art sense i started seeing my privately i dont have an e mail for her or anything just a phone number . i feel good about that because any time i have e mailed her it has been a horrible idea and caused more issues then help . this way i cant even be tempted. but i di have the ability to call her .

I am not ready for this semester. At all.

I re-read it. It's not as bad as I was remembering except I wish it weren't so long.

I try not to re-read my emails to therapist because the last time I did that I saw how I kept saying the same sorts of things. Maybe I should just email numerical designations for the usual messages. Like this:

Dear Therapist.
#5

haha yeah. (and I am laughing with you, not at you. because I've had whole sessions where it would have been easier just to say "#5 again, go!")

LOL. that's a good plan for me too

Me too, for the repetitive things I write in my letters to T!

Future ex strikes again.

Time to find that lawyer, post-haste.

Lawyers are your friend.

You guys can deal with whatever comes up. Things would be better without the crazy ancestors.

Spent all day in various states of panic. Did manage to go shopping at some point which distracted me abit.

Just want to curl up now but it too early so i will twiddle on the internet for abit longer.

Both remaining managers in my dept were laid off yesterday. My team was told our jobs are not going anywhere. Jeez I just got here

OMG Thats awful

Finally I can change my mood from the glaring red "IN PAIN" which has been true for a little too long. I ran into my best friend when I came from my (very upsetting) T session this morning, and he asked if I wanted to go for lunch. (This is the person I have felt alienated from for a little more than two months, and whinged about here as well, which makes me feel a bit guilty now.) We had a great talk, and I feel quite a lot better. And ready to get back to T on Thu and talk things out with him as well, which I think I need to do.

I'm so glad to hear this! (((Crocus)))