Dear Client

Dear Skies --

That's patently untrue.

And, if you didn't already know that, now you do.

- Your T

Dear Water bear,

I wish you could see what I feel and think. I try to show you. I don't hate you, I care about your wellbeing but I can't do any more than I am. There are limitations. I have never worked with anyone in this way before and if I am being honest I don't know what I am doing. We are just two people trying to find a way.

Dear Art:

I would have been happy to schedule you for a session this past week, of course, but at the same time, I'm really proud of you for the work you did without my help. Didn't I tell you things would happen in their own time? See? Things are happening. I've been giving some thought to your request about doing a sand tray together. When it feels like the time is right, I trust that we will both know. I look forward to Wednesday. You know I can't say this of course but I will miss our time together when you take your break soon. You're going to come back, right?

Jungianly Yours,
T

Dear ATAT,

I would just like to say, I have read "Hamlet." I know what the Battle of the Somme was. I can hold my own on the symbolism of sacrifice. And don't forget the very enjoyable few minutes you and I once spent discussing the theories of Claude Levi-Strauss.

Miss me yet?

No. 1

I am so sorry

Dear Mona, stop texting me so much this week. I think I will have to use the word boundaries for the first time this week. However, your text made me smile and I am glad that you took my advice. Take care. T

Dear Client,

You have demostrated an ability to act independently with out need for your hand to be held.

Dear E - Yes, I am thinking about you and hoping you have a good day for your first day. I look forward to hearing all about it at our next session! -t

Dear Crocus,

I wish the Christmas break were longer. Three weeks away from you is simply not long enough.

Dear Jersey,
The nerve of you calling asking if the door was still open. You terminated over text message after 8 years of working together. What the heck did I do that was so wrong? Did you really think I would call you back? Jokes on you, Jersey.

Dear alpacalicious,
I will have to see you in 3 days...really? I don't want to see you, maybe I'll text you saying I have a meetup for work, so I can relax and I won't see you during the holidays.
I don't want to talk to you about your worries, I don't feel sure with you, you can fall at any time, you are instable.

Dear Argonautomobile,

I'm sorry it took me seven weeks to get back to you. You see, when I got your voicemail, I wrote it down on a sticky note. Which I then lost in my desk. I found the note seven weeks later. I considered just pretending I never got your voicemail and never calling you back, ever--because, really, how embarrassing and unprofessional is it to not call someone back for nearly two months--but then I looked up your name in my notes, figured out who you were, and remembered what a push-over you are.

And, whew, thank God for that.

Anyway, sorry it took me so long to call back. And that I don't have an opening for another month. It's not because I don't like you. How could I not like you--you keep coming back even after my numerous ****-ups, and that makes me think I must be doing something right.

So, I'll see you in a month. Please be chatty and cheerful (hypomanic) and not talk about anything difficult. And don't worry--I've written down that really important thing about...um--hang on--let me look for it...

Ah, ****, where did I put that?

Dear LT,

WTF, I told you not to Google anything about my wife anymore, but you did. Even though you promised not to. OK, it was a mistake, and I forgive you. But now how the hell do I deal with you knowing she died? As soon as I saw you'd learned that, I knew you'd be a wreck. I'm actually amazed that the only correspondence we had in the past week was a brief condolence e-mail. But I guess you were probably trying to leave me alone...

Today's session was OK, I think, but I really wish you hadn't invaded my privacy like that. I didn't want to talk about all that, but felt like I had to, because you're my patient, and I have to talk about what's bothering you. But why does it have to be about my wife? Why can't you just let me grieve in peace? Of course I won't show this frustration to you--I need to keep up the super-caring, forgiving, accepting persona.

You know how I said recently that if you knew me in real life, you'd realize I was an asshole and wouldn't want to be around me? Well, if I was honest about how what you did affected me, you'd see that I was a total ****. Or maybe not, because most reasonable people would be upset by that invasion of privacy. Yeah, it was a public obituary, but you wouldn't have known my wife's name if you hadn't done that Googling last month.

Part of me wants to tell you off. But then, part of me loves you--yes, I said it--and doesn't want to do that to you. I know you're just doing this partly out of transference/attachment, partly out of compassion, and partly trying to deal with your own issues. I get it--I've been there (well, maybe not quite here...) But I don't know how to deal with you. Because I have my own countertransference going on. Yeah, I admitted it. I'm not even sure which kind. Except the kind that makes me want to hug you and maybe even kiss you while simultaneously telling you to F off and leave me alone. Not sure what kind that is... I don't think it was covered in my Psychology textbooks...

Love(?),
MC

Dear Argo's T,

****, man, get it together.

DBC (ATAT's T - for now, anyway)

Dear growly,
I am always glad to see it is you and not some other patient that I seem to despise for unknown reasons. You amuse me and don't tax me and you can even be kinda cuddly but you might bore me at any time.
Kashi

*stares hard through narrowed eyes*
eugh! So u finally showed after 8 weeks , I miss the breath of fresh air, that you bring and pout at you when you finally do turn up 6 weeks late.
Being pissed at you will last for about 2 mins before we start discussing computer games and I give up arguing with you about your drug abuse cos as usual your right.

And yes I am gonna book you for a fortnight, then grumble when you don't show up.
All the best, P.doc.

(Most of this he has said,except the pouting bit.)

Hi,

What was your name again? Anyway I'm glad to be rid of you. No more benzos.

- pdoc.

JunkDNA,
get a hobby.
T

Wow - this is a very telling thread. Can we all be more brutal on ourselves? Well, here goes...

Here's what my past tells me my T would say:
Dear Parva,
I notice you used the feminine form of 'mouse'. Do you care to tell me what that means? (Cue 'concerned therapy face' here)

You think you know everything, but you don't. Can you for once just shut your cake hole ? I'm sooooo tired of you. Needy. When I think of you, I think of a little baby bird that begs for food every time the mother gets back to the nest. Jesus Christ, can I eat the worm for once? Just one time? You know, I'm not a therapy nipple that you get suckle from. On that note, you're getting fat. Yeah, I noticed.

Well, my time is money. Your money . I have a lot more to say, but I'd rather you just write me a check and leave.
Your soon-to-be-ex therapist,
H. Harlow
PS. Yes, I'm going to terminate you abruptly at some undisclosed point in the near future. Because, you know, you totally suck.

Here's what she'd really say:
Dear C-
I see how much you're suffering. I can't fix it for you, but I will be right there with you. Good days, bad days, all of them. Your pain, and all that comes with it, is not too big for me. It doesn't make me hate you or make me tired of you. Actually, it makes me want to stand right by your side. I know that it will take a long time to soothe some of this, and not only will I be there the whole way, but I want to be there.

When you feel like giving up, just know that I am here. Your pain is real and I see it.
-K

Dear Mona, I am really sorry for how I behaved, won't you try one last time and come back to me?

Echos, not sure I want to see you tomorrow.

SuM would you just let me in. Let me be there for you. I won't abandon you like you fear. Just trust me on this.

Dear E - That email so could have waited. I like I said I would, I replied to it. I hope it made you feel better. And of course if your thyroid has gone super hyper, your brain functionality is going to be affected. DUH! and you know this. Yes, we'll talk about it tomorrow, if you bring it up. It's your time after all. - Dr. S

OK, gonna try a more positive one for MC:
Dear LT,
It really means a lot to me how much you care about me and my well-being. I'm just not sure how to deal with it sometimes. Most of my patients probably don't think much about me at all. And that's how it's technically supposed to be, according to what I learned in school. I often worry I've messed up with you, because you care so much. I worry that I'm somehow making things worse for you instead of better.

The thing is, I see a lot of myself in you. I've been through some of the same struggles. You'd think because I've dealt with it, I'd know what to say to you to make you feel better about yourself. But some of it, I still deal with on a daily basis. Like the anxiety and self-doubt. And telling you that it never really goes away, you just learn to deal with it--I'm not sure how much that will help. But please know that I understand. That void I was talking about? I had it inside me, too. Maybe I still do, a little.

I'm not sure what I'm getting at here. I know I've said before that I'm "not real." But our connection is. Not just between shrink and patient, but between two humans. Our relationship may be limited by therapeutic boundaries, but that doesn't mean it can't be special. Because it is.

Love,
MC

Dear WIP,
You're so much more than you think you are.