Couch 129: The Semiprime Couch

I want to get my hair cut short like a boy but I don't know where to find a good hair person that won't make it look like crap. I saw one stylist who said it was like the others I'd seen wanted to make me look ugly. Going to see those people is always traumatic. Everything they say comes out as an insult.

There is one place that's queer friendly, but it's right next to the one I go to now and I don't want to walk by the current one to get to the other one. I hate living in a small town.

Do they have different enough hours that you could try out the new place when the old place is closed?

Or just go the other direction so you don't have to walk by the old place to get to the new place. You deserve to feel comfortable when getting your hair cut.

Another way to think of it would be supporting with your money someone that politically you want to support. That might help you get over some of the uncomfortability of switching. And you can always go back to the old place if you end up not liking the new place after all.

You have no idea how much I sympathize with this.

What's worked for me is to find queer stylists (not necessarily in a queer salon) or to ask other queers for recs -- one of my stylists was a trans woman (absolutely fantastic and I think I crushed out on her big time in large part coz here was someone who understood me instantly after years of my dealing with gawdawful idiots) and my current stylist is a jaded, totally silent gay man who completely "gets" what I want hair-wise and has little to say except for some mutual eye-roll bonding brought on by the occassional acerbic comment on the goings-on with the local queers.

To get to this point though, I went through years (no exaggeration) of dealing with stylists who'd either mess it up big time while treating my request like it's some alien / awful thing or tell me nonsense (this mostly from men) on how I'm "so pretty" and so why do I want to cut my hair short in a way that apparently makes me ugly Before moving to my current town, I finally found a (straight male) stylist (on the rec of another queer) and he was fantastic -- I'd drive 250 miles each way to get my haircut coz the folks I'd tried out in my current town were just awful. Until of course I met my current one and the one before him.

ETA: As much as it sucks, if you can, go to the queer-friendly place -- the relief is palpable I promise.

Parking is tight, so it's kind of impossible to go to one without passing the other, but you're right...I should be able to feel comfortable getting my hair cut and to support a business that's queer friendly. The one I go to now is not at all.

I find it helps to include words like dramatic and undercut and faux hawk. Also google pictures ahead of time to show them what you want. Ask them to use the clippers to shave the sides and back and leave the top long - i usually get some version of this. We vary the bangs and the crown.

I'm growing my hair out again. If i can tolerate the inbetween shaggy suzi look it has now, that is.

Thank you so much for this! I am only just realizing how much I have put up with that I don't have to. Maybe it's overstating things, but it's always felt abusive going to these places.

Awkwardly, I really like this video ad: https://tomboyx.com/blogs/news/underneath-it-all

Rain is handsome. I like Ruby Rose too. I wish I could get my hair to do this

https://www.google.com/search?q=ruby...oWOjyT8g8KM%3A

My other style I love requiresmore curl/wave than I have. My most recent cut is similar to http://soontelecom.com/wp-content/up...t-haircuts.jpg

I love both those cuts. Thanks!

This is so awesome (and Elio's pics too)! Thank you!

And, umm...yeah, I will refrain from describing my endless woes in finding a halfway decent suit that won't break the bank

ETA: About overstating things etc -- it's like the frog and boiling water analogy. One doesn't quite realize how awful it is coz it just ends up slowly feeling "normal"

im taking my cat to the vet again. im trying not to cry but its not working. i dont want him to die. i dont know what ill do if that happens... im so scared

((junk))

(((junkDNA)))

I am so sorry junk. I hope that it isn't something serious. Poor kitty.

Well, I am in my little room. I had a busy weekend and didn't get much time to enjoy the couch and missed way too much, so I shall jump back in here. In 10 minutes I have to go to one of my push in classes, so I shall make this quick.

I emailed pdoc last Thursday about some things I was concerned about/struggling with. He usually responds pretty quickly, but I did not hear back all weekend, so I figured I was just stressing and he didn't see it as anything major. He responded this morning however to call his office and make an earlier appointment than my original next one. I called after reading that email, they could get me in at 4:30 today, so I go today. I am very scared that he is going to tell me that I am at a breakdown point and need to be in the hospital. I don't want that. Maybe we can just alter my meds some or something first.

I also don't want him to ask about the scratching (though I am pretty sure he will) because I have 2 new areas I just did on Saturday. At least they aren't that bad looking yet though, since they are only 2 days old.

I guess I just need to hike up my big girl pants and suffer the consequences of my actions. I just really do not want to put my life on "hold" to spend time IP. I would have a hard time explaining that to 2 jobs. And it would interfere with my masters class.

Oh well. Almost time to head into the halls. Talk later couch.

Hi there. I'm new and looking for support.

Currently suffering from PPD and newly diagnosed with ADHD after a period of self-medicating. I've had depression and anxiety my whole life and am currently back on medications. Struggle with addiction as well.

Currently struggling with the day to day stuff and parenting my 2.5 yr. old while trying to sustain my marriage and manage the house while working full time.

All I want to do is sleep. When I'm home I'm on my phone and feel horrible about not paying as much attention to my daughter as I should.

Sigh. When do things get better?!

Sorry for the downer post.

@artemis-within we work a similar schedule. I hate working Sunday's as well but I get Fridays off which is always nice!

(((Squirrel))) i bet he just wants to touch base. Hes your biggest fan next to me.

hugs to you junkDNA that's so hard!

I have a newbie question: does every comment have to get approved first indefinitely? Or is just because I'm a new poster? TIA!

Hugs...I really hope your cat is OK. Is it the same symptom as before? It's certainly OK to cry about your pet...

(JunkDNA). I am hoping kitty is ok. At least you are taking care of it and know you are doing what you can

(Squirrel) I hope you don't have to go IP either.

hi...

i took my kitty to the vet at 2 30. he was so scared and i was too... his vitals were good and normal. they got some urine and did an analysis. she ssaid he has crystals "debris" in his urine, but not the kind they typically see in cat's urine. she said the typical one was caused by diet and was an easy fix. she said the crystals in his urine are unusual.

they gave me some more antibiotics for him and also prednisone (anti inflammatory steroid). i asked her if the prednisone will have side effects for him because i know it does in humans. she said he will be eating more and thirstier, maybe restless.

she said he has cystits. she said this is usually caused by stress. why is my cat stressed??? is he picking up on my stress??? poor toby. i have to try to be calm around him.

i told her about my old cat and how he died suddenly from kidney failure. she said he does not have any signs of kidney failure. i was relieved, i almost cried. thats what i was so scared of

i texted my T before i went. i told him im taking toby to the vet again and that i was scared. i texted T again afterwards and told him that toby is ok, hes still sick but not fatally sick. T said oh good! im so glad

so me and toby are home now and we are gonna try to be real chill and relaxed