Do you ever struggle to articulate your feelings to your T?

I get so frustrated with myself (and I worry my T gets frustrated with me, too) because I can never express how I feel. I feel like a little kid or maybe someone who can't speak the language -- it seems like the only words I have are "bad" or "okay" or "I don't know." She presses me to explain, and it's so hard.
The thing is, I know conceptually how I feel. But I don't have words for the feelings! I want to tell her that I am feeling [feeling], but I literally do not know how.
Does anyone else struggle with this? Can I get past this? I feel so dumb and frustrated.

Oh my goodness yes - I do this alllll the time - say to her "I can't find the right words!!" And I stumble around using words that aren't quite right trying to express what I am feeling. One thing I do, is write poetry which helps me express myself and bring those with me to sessions. My t is also certified in sand play, so I do sand trays sometimes when words just absolutely fail me. I get really frustrated too because like I said I write poetry, I love words, so when I can't FIND the right words, I get so frustrated! I am learning to not judge myself for it... it's been a very very long process starting to get there... I used to sit there and stomp my feet in frustration, I don't do that anymore thankfully. But don't feel dumb - cuz you're not!! Sometimes we are dealing with pre-verbal feelings and those are soooooo hard to try to articulate.

I can relate!
When he asks how do I feel I often can say only "I don't know" or "it's difficult to explain", feeling dumb and guilty.

one time she got out a drawing pad and pastels and asked me to draw what i was feeling. that was before i started learning how to draw, probably what inspired me to want to learn, because i didn't do a very good job drawing my feelings either as i recall...

How does your therapist react or help you when you tell her you can't find the words? I say this to my therapist and express my frustration, but it's not like she can read my mind so it doesn't help. But at least she understands (I hope) that I'm not trying to be difficult, I just can't do it!

I feel the same way.

Lol I don't think I would be able to draw my feelings, either! I have thought about bringing my writing (poetry and journal entries) because I am more articulate on paper than I am in person, but I'm just so shy and nervous to share those with anyone

I reach a point where I sit there shaking my head to try and clear it, because I can't. find. the. words. So frustrating. Thanks for raising the topic, annie!

Yes, I often had that problem!

Oh yes, I can really relate to this. T used to get very frustrated at me. She would give me a menu of feelings of which I had to pick a few. She would say I can't help you if I don't know what you are feeling and that used to make me more distressed.
I find writing in a journal a great way of expressing myself because I am a better writer than speaker. In my head thoughts are easy to understand but expressing them is frustrating and people often don't understand me especially ex t. New t is better with this and has often said, maybe there are no words. She gives me lots of time to sit with the feelings. She has often brought out toys, art materials and clay I get so excited that I end up not using them.
I find the words will come when they are ready to leave you rather than being forced out.

All the time. "I don't know", "who cares anyway", "how should I know" are probably my most used sentences whenever T asks me how I'm feeling.

T handed me a set of "feeling flashcards" with smiles on them last time and asked me to pick one. That helped (although it felt childish)

I too have this issue. I've realised that it's when my inner child is present. I revert to having the language & vocabulary of that age. I don't have the words to describe how I feel. I don't understand what my T is saying at that time either. I'm far more articulate when the adult is in the room. My T will change how he speaks to me when he knows my inner child is present. It took a lot of work to eventually accept my inner child & now I recognise when she's around & what she needs.

Put 'describe my feeling worksheet' into google and the first image that comes up is a tool I use to help me. Often I can't name emotions or feelings or describe them but this really helps. A feelings wheel helps too. Sorry this is short, I am tired.

All. The. Time.

I told T that I am fine until I get into his office and suddenly I forget what words are and can't seem to articulate what is in my head. It's sooooo frustrating. I have started writing about what I need to talk about, usually as though it is a character in a story, and bringing that along. I also text myself thoughts and feelings throughout the week so that helps some too. I still end up saying "I don't know" A LOT and, sadly, he is no longer accepting that as an answer.... at least until I get frustrated. Then he backs off.

Yeah t not accepting the 'i don't know' thing... My t is on to me now and she knows when to say "you don't know? Or you won't say?" ugh.

Ack, I hate this. Ex t always says I don't believe you, when I say I don't know! Also if I say general things like everybody does this or says that and she corrects me and says you say this and you do that

T made me give him a percent of the time I actually don't know the answer. I tried to go with 80% but he wouldn't buy it. *sigh* Sometimes I give him really stupid answers in retaliation.

Don't worry. A good T will know how to ask the right questions and will take all the time you need to help you. If you are not comfortable with this T then maybe you need to find another one but I know that is easier said than done. Good therapists must be like finding a coin buried in the sand. We don't all have metal detectors.

I've found this useful, too. I thought I had a good emotional vocabulary until I went to therapy and started saying things like "I feel like a cucumber."

Spending some time looking at a feelings wheel helped.

When people are recalling past traumas, brain scans show that the language center in the brain -- in fact, the entire left half of the brain where language and analytical skills reside -- loses power and shows less activity, but the right side shows increased activity. During a full-on flashback of a traumatic event, the language center (called Broca's area) goes almost entirely off-line, similar to what you might see in a stroke victim, and the person is often unable to speak at all until it passes. There's a chapter on this in "The Body Keeps the Score" with images of the brain scans, and you can actually see this visually.

I know we're not always talking about past traumas in therapy, but those things feel more present in the therapy room, and I do think it affects our ability to articulate. The more painful the subject, the less able we might be to find words. I hope therapists start to learn from the brain scan research that their clients are not necessarily being stubborn or unwilling when they can't describe emotions, they just don't have a fully operational language center. Using art or poetry seems like a good idea, because that's creative stuff that's more on the right side, and that side actually has more activity when past traumas are involved.

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It's a constant struggle. The feelings wheel doesn't help because I tend to numb out actually feeling my emotions so I don't know what is or isn't even there. I have to resort to sensing what it physically feels like in my body. For instance, there's turmoil in my stomach and the heat generated rises up to my ears and I can't think.

I don't want to take this off topic but I was really interested in what you said mostlylurking. I am still trying to find answers to why I cannot speak in my sessions sometimes. I do have language, as I can write, but my voice disappears and it isn't until I have a pen and paper that the thoughts can be extracted from me in a comprehendable way. Without it, I just sit there with fireflies dancing through my brain. This is one thing to which I genuinely don't have any real answers. I have no idea why I cannot speak.

I struggle with the woman's lack of understanding what I'm trying to say. That is what led me to do a PowerPoint for her where I could use pictures and short words with no more than one or two syllables. I don't understand how a therapist can not accept something as an answer. I mean what can they they do?

I do this. For me it is dissociation tied to shame. My voice literally does not work

Maybe there's something about putting pen to paper that helps your language abilities come back online. Pen and paper feels more analytical, like sitting down as a student to write an assignment, so perhaps it brings that analytical hemisphere of the brain back up to par?

I think what BayBrony said about it being linked to shame sounds right on the money too. It could be both of those things, no reason it has to be one or the other.

Thank you. It does feel like that in some way. Not sure I can 'admit' that shame to myself yet, if it is that. I also sense fear in there too.

Yes. I struggle every single time.