The Couch 145 : I Stubbed My Toe On the Sofa.... COUCH!

My t has my dads hands, i cant look at them.

Want to text pdoc, about it on his clinical cell, but again don't want him to think I am "unsafe" and hospitalize me. I am safe...not thinking of doing anything to hurt myself. Just feel really detached from reality. Why does his office have to be closed tomorrow. Well, I guess I can't complain...normally he takes the entire week of the holiday off to visit family in NY, but is in town this time and is only taking Monday and Tuesday off. I just have to try to settle my thoughts on my own until Wednesday. I see T on Wednesday too (will actually see her before pdoc). Will be a busy day.

Dammit....fireworks just started going off again. Grrrr...... Another night of shakiness.

Work is important and so is your health and safety, Squirrel. If you feel unsafe I hope you will reach out to pdoc.

I thought you were hitchhiking out here! You know, see the country, meet new and interesting people, etc.

Does the "thing" rhyme with "gosling"?

It's going okay - I may be oversupervising them and planning too much. But they are *really* well-behaved and polite.

My t has my grandma's hands. Small and delicate looking. I told her one time how beautiful they are because when I look at them, and then close my eyes, I'm with my grandma again for a moment.

Here's me and my grandma way back in 1967 or thereabouts.

I am so glad neither of my Ts resemble any relatives in any way in appearance or mannerism. If that ever happened I would completely freak and maybe move to another continent, too.

Speaking of continental movement I am going to be visiting the northwest for the first time in September, is it weird that I'm anxious that the big earthquake will happen when I'm there? Way to find random things to worry about, brain.

My sister lived on a peninsula out there for a few years and when she first moved in, her landlord told her that if it happened, there is no possible evacuation route, just plan on having 10-20 minutes left to live.

I'm making my favorite magic chicken... not magic in that way... magic because it's just the best damned thing. Chicken leg quarters with whole garlic cloves, salt/pepper and za'atar under the skin, more of the above (minus the garlic) rubbed into the outside of the skin with olive oil, 450° for 45 minutes

Plus at the end you get a delicious byproduct, za'atar-infused schmaltz, omfg

I am also very glad that none of my Ts have ever resembled anyone significant. Well, I mean, T2 could have been Bill Nye, but that was humorous versus upsetting.

The chicken sounds good, anais!

Mmmm za'atar is so good!

what is za'atar?

So I made those cheesecake bites that I saw on Facebook. They are yummy!!!

It's a Levantine herb that doesn't grow around here called hyssop, I think. It's a little bit oregano-y, a little minty, a little spicy, a little lemony, hard to explain. It's sold ground up and blended with salt and sesame seeds. Putting it on chicken is very unorthodox. But tasty!

Trying to get one of the other girls to cover C tomorrow. Texted one of them, she has not responded. I would rather spend all day tomorrow sleeping my weird feelings away. I don't want to fail to look after C carefully.

Got an email back from pdoc from the one I sent last night stating that nothing seems to out of the ordinary. If only he knew how I was feeling now. I guess he really can't say more in an email due to HIPAA. I just don't like that he validated my thoughts that I told him about in that email. Then again, if he knew my thoughts at this moment, I can't see him validating them. Oh well...guess he is in for a shocker on Wednesday.

Just broke the no texting rule. I had to let t know about my reaction to his beard.

Za'atar is also delicious mixed with olive oil as a dipping sauce for pita, or brushed on pita and baked!

Text to the other girl says "read at xx:xx" so I assume she got it. Just no response yet. Maybe she is trying to find someone else because she can't . *sigh* I can't believe I am "turning down" time with C.

That's my lunch like, almoooooost every day? Impossible to get tired of.

There are a good amount of chiefs on this board.. Will the couch come and give me cooking lessons???

that would be fun!

I'd also like to be a student in the couch cooking classes (CCC?)

I can bake, but when it comes to flavor in actual food? Not my thing.

Me too.. I am a pretty decent cook, just when it comes to cooking regular food.. I fail most of the time!

I want to be a CCC student too!

Still no response from the other girl about whether or not she could cover for me tomorrow with C. I am really in no condition to look after someone besides myself. Maybe I can go to a walk in tomorrow and try to get a script for Haldol to get me through to pdoc on Wednesday....though most walk ins around here are not too keen on giving out scripts for psychiatric medications. Then again, I'd have to explain to them how I am feeling...then they may call 911 on me.

Stopdog, why do you love being in your mid-50s so much?

I still can't believe that I turned 55 last week. I want to know where my life went! I do not feel 55 whatsoever, I feel closer to 40, Most people don't believe me when I tell them how old I am. I enjoyed my forties the most and wish I could just stay in that decade.