The Couch 146 : The Untouchable, Nontotient, Octahedral, Composite Couch.

I'm posting here because my brain has been staring at IT Audit findings and I feel really STUPID.

I think it's great that you are advocating for this guy, but it is a shame your message was misinterpreted

I have been looking at "home" as a physical thing when maybe it's not. My be its that sense of self that my t keeps talking about....

I hope he'll be OK. :/ I did tell him when he called to let me know if he got into trouble so I can talk with his team lead. I think he appreciated that but he sounded worried and scared despite how I apologised for the misinterpretation.

He said he'll ask for some IT tasks to be offloaded and I seriously hope his team lead agrees. Because that time sensitive task is getting critical and he really needs free time to do it. Or else I'm getting in trouble myself lol.

This cracked me up - https://m.facebook.com/story.php?sto...43798492561211

My h has George Springer on his fantasy team too. Let me think who else... um Ian Kinsler? did i get that right and Freddie Freeman and Miguel Sano, I forget who else. He's 13 points ahead of 2nd place in their league right now.

Has anybody heard from JD?

I texted S (ex-T - trying to be friends) this morning to tell him that I need a break from communication. I asked for a month. I asked him to respond and let me know if we can be OK -- if I can take this break and then come back and be his friend.

I think he has been gaslighting me. He told me Saturday that he'd be leaving for Mexico on Sunday and that he may be completely unplugged while there. I asked 3 times how long he was going for, but he completely ignored the question and just spoke of other things. Then, yesterday, I got upset because he hadn't given me any indication of how long he'd be totally disconnected for.... so I sent him an upset text about it. Woke up this morning to this text from him:

Guys, he literally TOLD me he was leaving for Mexico yesterday and was possibly going to be unplugged for however long he's gone. HOW AM I THE CRAZY ONE for thinking he did what he said he'd be doing?!?

I resisted looking up the signs of gaslighting for fear of finding out it was true, but I guess I faced that fear today. Every sign is there.

I saw posted some song lyrics in Dear T yesterday. JD, if you're reading, check in when you have a chance.

Ugh, I'm sorry toomanycats...

I read she was going inpatient. Not certain if she did.

(((JD))) please take good care!

Ugh- recent troubles with t piled on top of h admitting that he wants a divorce has me frantic and feels like everybody wants to leave me. Which is stupid because I told h months ago I wanted a divorce. But now that he agrees it's I guess more real. Idk.. I feel all kinds of panicked.

Hugs, Healed...

Hi. I am not IP. I never went.

Got into an argument via text yesterday with T where he ended up saying I'm trying to emotionally manipulate him. I stopped responding cause reading that was like reading a text and feeling like someone stabbed u. 2 hours later he sent "how are you"as if he felt bad or what I don't know. I did not reply to him cause I was so done with all that. An hour later he says if he doesn't hear from me that I am okay he will call the police for a welfare check. I simply sent back I'm fine. Then he asks me if I need help going to the hospital or a detox program

Like... I had asked him for encouragement that morning. Telling him I was scared about going but needed to. And he acted like he was angry and seemed unwilling to help. Then he insults me, feels bad I guess, tries to make up for it by actually offering me help.

I don't want to play this game with him anymore and I'm so over him and therapy right now

I told him I will figure it out on my own. He sent ok and that was that

I don't think he as a professional had any right to say that. None. You reached out for help and he, I don't even know what to call it. I'm sorry, JD. That's awful Hugs. Here if you need me.

Yay! I can't believe the Choppers let Wood go - that was a huge mistake, blame ex manager for that. I cannot tell you how happy I am that he's gone. Freeman I love him. He's adorable.

Why do none of you have Inciarte!?! lol

Hi, Ellah. I know this is not right but it's the only way I know how to get a hold of you. I don't know why you have blocked me out of your life, but I just want to let you know as I sit here and a good friends son has passed away. I just want to let you know that I pray for your daily and I hope you're doing well. I love you so much. I just want you to know that. I love you. No matter what happens I wish for all your happiness. I hope you're happy and I love you and I don't know what else to say. I just hope you're happy. Good bye, I won't bother you anymore.

^^mothers voice mail. I can't. Then my father texted me this morning (because I had let him know that I had changed my phone number:

Dad: So does this mean your mom don't have your number?
Me: Yes.
Dad: Oh, wow. Ok
Dad: I love you and I know you hav some issues to work out but I think that's going a little too far.
Me: I can respect that you feel that way, but this is my decision. Love you too.

I am soooooooooooooooooooooo done with family. You would think I was a teenager and not a 30 year old woman. Seriously. I Can't.

Duchess never got back with me. I hate life. I hate everything about it except my puppies, husband, sister, and sometimes Duchess.

WTF do I do? I don't know anymore. I feel so confused. Everyone is telling me to keep her no contact, but it feels so wrong and I don't honestly know what the right thing is. So I'll sit here and keep crying at my desk wishing all of this never happened.

All those names are right!

Wow JDNA....
I'm pissed at your therapist for you...

EM -- can you just decide that you don't need to decide anything about what to do or not do in response until you see your therapist next?

And, that includes talking to people like your Dad or essentially telling anyone who you don't consider 2000% safe and totally in your corner, no matter what?

((Jdna)) sending you strength.

Hey couchies I have my phone interview w recruiter in a couple hours, a lil nervous about that. Also starting to get major nervous about seeing t Wednesday. Scared there's gonna be another fight. Cuz I refuse to take all the blame for last week. If there is may the therapy gods give me the strength to walk out. I need to think about my interview not t! Grr.

I'm highly considering messaging my pdoc and asking if I can go inpatient for a couple of days. I need a break. I dont' even know how to ask about this? LIke can I chose to go or do I have to be told to go? I just need away. I need to be safe. But then I'll have no one to watch my puppies. I don't know what to do .

M gave me a crystal to take with me today. He said it's a special one that he takes with him when he travels but it can go with me this time. I see him in 10 days and then not again until Sept 7.

We talked about attachment and stability in very ambiguous woo-woo terms. It was interesting and somewhat helpful but really I am not feeling the sound or color or texture or element of his or L's vibrations, I am feeling that I want to scream and cry and grab onto his leg and be a snotty soggy mess.

The crystal makes me feel dizzy and flushed when I come near it.

Art?? Woo-woo assistance needed! Do I give it back?

He said he put some special healing in it for me. I want to like it! But coming near it feels like pushing two opposing magnets together.