Take your SO to a session?

Would you ever consider that? My t offered because one of my many issues is problems in my relationship with my wife and her refusal to go to couples counseling. My t is not offering to do couples counseling for us; she said it could be useful for her (t) to meet my wife and see us together for context. She likely would recommend counseling. If I were comfortable with it, t might even spend part of a session speaking one on one with my wife.

We have been married over 25 years. I can see how it would be very useful for my t to see us together and to talk to my wife alone.

It is probably a moot point because I would say the odds are about 5:1 that my wife won't do it. Her treatment of me the last few years is not something she would likely want to discuss openly. We have been little more than roommates and she has said something that makes it hard to believe there is any sort of future for us but then went back to day to day living like it was no big deal.

I'm sorry you're struggling in your marriage. That sounds like such a difficult situation.

For me the answer is an unequivocal absofreakinglutely not!! During year 1 with t I told her how once with t2 I had brought my mother with me to a session and how that didn't help at all because she just sat there and lied her face off, and current t said something like "This is sacred space, your space, I wouldn't want anyone else contaminating it, not even your h." I so agreed with her and I still do. MY time. Nobody else gets any of it!

(Could my marriage benefit from actual marriage counseling? That is a resounding yes, but h refuses to consider it, and my t doesn't do that anyway.)

eta: what's interesting to note: is that when I initially had my breakdown back in 2009 I think it was, my h was really supportive and went with me to my first pdoc appointment, I was a mess, I don't think I could have driven myself there anyway even if I'd wanted to. And as I sat there in front of pdoc's desk sobbing uncontrollably barely able to speak, h jumped in and told him everything that had been going on and I just sat there nodding my agreement with him. I never would have made it through that very, very dark period of my life w/out my h. He was my rock then. Now, not so much. But I won't hijack your thread with that story!)

I brought my husband to a couple of the sessions when I started working with my current T. It was a different dynamic than the one you are describing as he was helping me explain some issues. As your t suggested, I think bringing my husband helped my t and my husband each see the dynamic I have with the other.

My husband and I had been in couples therapy about 15 years before the session I described above. What I thought was an issue with our relationship was actually undiagnosed depression and anxiety in me. That is, perhaps having your wife go with you might reveal something to her about herself.

I hope things work out for you both.

I have taken my spouse to a couple of sessions in the same context malika describes. I liked having them meet each other, and I think it was helpful for my T to watch us interact. It makes me more confident that she understands our relationship now when I talk about relationship things in therapy.

That said, I personally don't think I would be comfortable with my T and my spouse talking without me. When I have brought in my spouse, it's been very clearly in the context of my individual therapy, so I would want to be part of the conversation. It would feel like a fuzzy boundary (and maybe a bit infantilizing) for them to discuss me or our marriage without me in the room. But however you decide to approach it, I hope it's helpful!

23 years ago, a psychiatrist interviewed my wife while trying to determine the proper diagnosis (which ended up being bipolar). But we were doing much better as a couple at that time.

The possibility of one on one without me came up when I said she would probably try to present the public facade and faux surprise at some of what I said. My t then said if I thought my wife would be more open without me there then she (my t) could do that.

I considered it but never made the move. It's sort of my private place and refuge. I am afraid. That it might not turn out well.

My husband and I tried marriage counseling and it ending up with me being sent to a Pdoc for depression. It turned out to be true. But i was still left with the impression that the counseling backfired.

No! My T is there for me and I want to keep it that way. I also don't think it'd be fair to H, becuase I have shared all kind of stuff about him. It would not be a fair set up for any of the 3. I would be more than happy to go to MC with him if needed or him getting an own T, but my T is mine and I don't want more people there.

My therapist encouraged me to bring my husband to session at a time when my husband was not being particularly supportive or understanding about what was going on with me. It was extremely helpful, but I had a husband who realized he could benefit from meeting my therapist and was willing to learn.

It was reassuring for my husband to have a face to go with the person I was seeing for therapy. It was helpful for my husband to hear from my therapist things that gave him a better understanding of what I was experiencing.

In our case, my husband actually decided to go into therapy himself, and with my encouragement and blessing, he also went into therapy (and he even saw the same therapist). While that arrangement would be uncomfortable for many, it worked beautifully for us and for our marriage. Many might fear problems with confidentiality, etc., but quite honestly, it was never an issue. Our therapist was very upfront about discussing those issues before we even thought to bring them up, he was always quite professional, and never did either of us fear or experience any problems with it.

We occasionally chose to have joint sessions to work on relationship issues during our years of both going through our individual therapy. We reached a place where neither of us require therapy any longer. We are both stable, our marriage is stronger than it has ever been, and we've moved on to a different stage in life as we near retirement.

The catch for you is that you don't have a willing spouse who is even open to going to a session. If it is something that you think might be helpful for you though, I'd encourage you to talk to your wife about just going to a session to meet your therapist as a way of understanding what your treatment is all about. If you can frame it as a way of just her getting better information and understanding about your process of therapy and that it won't be a session to gang up on her or even necessarily about her at all, perhaps she will be willing to just go the once.

Best of luck to you.

I have asked H to accompany me to a couple of sessions, and I have attended one of his. I don't know if H found it helpful to have had me go with, but it has definitely been helpful for me when he went.

T3 wanted to know some things about my dissociation, she was able to get a pretty accurate picture of how he operates. H found it painless.

H and I have done couples counseling as well over the years.

We have never needed couples counseling. I have had him join me twice for my appointments. The first time was pretty early. We wanted to talk about something from my past that was very painful. We knew he would be very angry with a toxic family member. There was also a small part of me that thought he would be angry with me. T and I discussed it a lot before I had him come in. I wanted T to be there to deal with his thought and feelings. Plus we discussed how much information I should tell him and be a support for me.

The second time I was struggling with somethings (can't remember exactly what) again we discussed it a lot before hand. Because hubby and I are very protective of each other. She suspected I might talk for him. So T yold me a head of time if she felt that was happening she would politely ask me to allow him to answer. She said it once...we all laughed as I realized I do it a lot.

There have been a couple of times T and I discussed bringing him in as we felt he just wasnt understanding what I was dealing with. Hubby said he preferred not to go if I really need him to go he would do it for me. Because we blindsided him in the first appointment he really doesn't like the idea of going

Such an interesting discussion, I can see the pros and cons. For me, the answer would be no way! My husband is super supportive of me going to therapy and is happy that my therapist and I have a great connection. But I'm possessive of my therapy time, it already seems like that hour a week flies by, and I don't really want to share it! My husband and I have been together 12 years and we've never done couples counseling, my husband has been on an SSRI for years but never done therapy himself. So I don't know if he would even feel comfortable in a therapy session, I know it took me months to really open up and feel at ease.

I think the answer to this question would depend on what brought you to therapy in the first place. For me, I do therapy because crap from my past and how that leads to my own issues as an adult--but not specifically issues in our decent marriage. I bring up my husband from time to time in session, but usually there's not a lot to process through that aren't my own defensive/ emotional walls issues. My therapist has never brought up the idea to bring my husband, and that's totally fine with me. I like my therapy time to be just me! I have a young child, and I get so used to my own needs coming in last. I treasure than hour a week where I can talk about me and be a little self centered.

I think my t was a little blindsided when we got into my marriage. We had been talking about my depression, hypomania, long history of substance abuse and urges that I suppress that I wish I didn't have at all and this has taken several sessions. A couple of sessions I was hypomanic and she was trying to convince me that it was a crisis we needed to manage despite my assurances that I never felt better. Anyway, we finally came around to my marriage which was good for about 18 years and then really went in the tank about 9 years ago. We haven't slept in the same room in years (not by my choice) but keep up a facade like everything is all right.

about two years into my therapy, i asked my husband if he would be willing to attend some of my sessions, mainly because of repeated ruptures with my ex-T and my dissociation that was effecting me to remember what was said or worked on in therapy. turns out, that it was so helpful to have hubby come along, that he continued to attend most of my session until i terminated over 2.5 years later. since hubby knew exactly what was going on in therapy for me, he could offer better support between sessions. also, it was nice having someone there who could not only offer the physical support i needed that T could not fully do, hubby was also good at helping to clarify things either T or i was trying to convey. plus, i fully trusted my husband and knew he had my best interest at heart and he was going to do his best to make sure i felt safe, especially those times when i struggled with fully trusting my T.

i know my situation is different than yours, but looking back i wish i would have involved my husband sooner in my therapy. but like many of you, i feared having my husband being involved in my therapy or having him hear the things i was discussing or that the focus would be taken away from me. in the end, it turns out that the focus of therapy continued to remain on me and my **** and having hubby there helped to strengthen our relationship and bring us closer than we had ever been.

I've brought my fiance into a session. BIG MISTAKE!!! Omg it was horrible. My T was talking more to my fiance, not listening to me, etc. It was so bad, I needed another session right afterwards. We have all agreed to never do that again.

I brought family members ( mother, father, brother) and it was very helpful. It allowed the therapist to see for herself and to remind me that they were a disfunctional family.