Couch 153: Couch slouch

atisketatasket · Sep 23, 2017, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

informal couch poll: if you said "i love you" to your t and they responded "I know", would that bother you? i know there are couchies who would never utter such a thing to a t, but for those that would....?

This was even a dream "I love you" - not a literal one. I had just read from my notebook that in the dream I had telepathically sent that to her. And she says "I know" in response to a dream "I love you".

Maybe I'm completely off base, but it felt very dismissive. Or it's just cuz it was part of a dream and I wasn't wanting any response at all other than to work with the dream as a whole.

I dunno.

Just curious.

eta: when i've said that to her in the past not as part of a dream, she's responded 'thank you' or 'i'm touched' or even just 'awww' by itself and those were all fine. but this bugs me.

It would not bother me in the slightest, especially since it is not the first time she's responded to the statement. Plus you're reporting a dream "I love you." It's just acknowledging a fact. If it were the first time you'd said it, and said by real-art, not dream-art, it would be a poor response, yes, but I don't see how it is under the circumstances.

I kind of wonder if this is a sign of your attachment turning insecure again. A couple days ago you were talking and how much more mature and secure your relationship with her was. And yesterday you said that you felt you couldn't let yourself be happy in life without finding something to worry about. Same thing?

atisketatasket · Sep 23, 2017, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Are they next to the bananas or the broccoli? I mean, i wonder why i never see them??

: horse with blinders on :

I walk laps around the supermarket while waiting for my deli order. You mean you don't?

Sep 23, 2017, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

It would not bother me in the slightest, especially since it is not the first time she's responded to the statement. Plus you're reporting a dream "I love you." It's just acknowledging a fact. If it were the first time you'd said it, and said by real-art, not dream-art, it would be a poor response, yes, but I don't see how it is under the circumstances.

I kind of wonder if this is a sign of your attachment turning insecure again. A couple days ago you were talking and how much more mature and secure your relationship with her was. And yesterday you said that you felt you couldn't let yourself be happy in life without finding something to worry about. Same thing?

hmm. something to think about. i think i don't know what i want....

awkwardlyyours · Sep 23, 2017, 05:54 PM

Quick Couch poll:

The movie, Black Swan -- would you judge someone (harshly) for saying they really liked it?
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Would your answer to the above change if they said it's in line with their liking intensity in general?
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Would your answer to either of the above further change if said someone was a therapist?

Asking for a friend etc.

stopdog · Sep 23, 2017, 06:06 PM

I would not really get worked up about someone liking or disliking a movie. Not even if the person was a therapist. The second one I used to see was really into movies. she would get all worked up about all sorts of different ones and types.
My movie watching is fairly narrow and I don’t like a lot of movies in general so mostly I had no idea what she was talking about and when she suggested movies to me I just ignored it

stopdog · Sep 23, 2017, 06:11 PM

I think if I ever told the therapist I loved them - They would either keel over from a shock induced heart attack so I wouldn’t have to worry about the response or they would try to commit me. In general though I think it might depend upon the context and how often one had told the therapist such a thing in the past

junkDNA · Sep 23, 2017, 06:19 PM

I love my T even though I'm not seeing him

captgut · Sep 23, 2017, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

informal couch poll: if you said "i love you" to your t and they responded "I know", would that bother you? i know there are couchies who would never utter such a thing to a t, but for those that would....?

This was even a dream "I love you" - not a literal one. I had just read from my notebook that in the dream I had telepathically sent that to her. And she says "I know" in response to a dream "I love you".

Maybe I'm completely off base, but it felt very dismissive. Or it's just cuz it was part of a dream and I wasn't wanting any response at all other than to work with the dream as a whole.

I dunno.

Just curious.

eta: when i've said that to her in the past not as part of a dream, she's responded 'thank you' or 'i'm touched' or even just 'awww' by itself and those were all fine. but this bugs me.

At first I wanted to say "no".
But now I'm not sure.
I think it'd bother me.
What does it even mean? "Yes yes I know. Don't say that anymore"? or "Well it's awkward bcs I feel nothing"?

chihirochild · Sep 23, 2017, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

Quick Couch poll:

I wouldn't judge someone for liking this movie, and knowing that someone likes intensity wouldn't make me judge them (or their love of Black Swan) either.

Buuuuut.... sometimes I react in strange ways to my therapists' self-disclosures, even little things said in passing. (Sometimes it's so strange that I can't even begin to understand it.) And I can be kind of an intellectual snob sometimes (I know, I know, that's a super gross way to be) so I might look down a therapist who comes across as someone whose understanding of psychology isn't intellectually sophistocated, or one who seems to be in it for the "week to week soap opera" intensity of it all... but tbh it would totally 100% depend on the therapist her/himself and what kind of relationship we had.

awkwardlyyours · Sep 23, 2017, 06:44 PM

"week to week soap opera"

atisketatasket · Sep 23, 2017, 07:23 PM

Aren't we all in it for the week to week soap opera?

There really needs to be an Emmy category for therapy.

awkwardlyyours · Sep 23, 2017, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Aren't we all in it for the week to week soap opera?

There really needs to be an Emmy category for therapy.

It also helps that I have immense performance anxiety, I suppose.

I mean, in general.

Sep 23, 2017, 07:33 PM

I'll take it a step farther. We need the Therapy Emmys. There are so many categories that could be created.

Argonautomobile · Sep 23, 2017, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucozader

Couch, can I just not be me for a bit? Does anyone want to swap?

Sick of me.

I feel like this all. the. time.

I'm happy to swap. We're reading Roughing It with the high schoolers for the next few weeks. Good luck finding pants that fit.

Here's the car keys. There's beer in the fridge and taquitos in the freezer. Don't forget to feed the dog!

unaluna · Sep 23, 2017, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I walk laps around the supermarket while waiting for my deli order. You mean you don't?

You eat food that other people touch, that isnt washable?

Argonautomobile · Sep 23, 2017, 07:35 PM

I actually frequently wonder if I could BullsSh*t my way through someone else's day - or they through mine.

Argonautomobile · Sep 23, 2017, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

informal couch poll: if you said "i love you" to your t and they responded "I know", would that bother you?

Doesn't what's-his-face say this to Carrie Fisher in the Star Wars movie?

unaluna · Sep 23, 2017, 07:39 PM

Awk - her thigh DID look REALLY good in that one scene in bed, towards the end. Just sayin'.

Sep 23, 2017, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

Doesn't what's-his-face say this to Carrie Fisher in the Star Wars movie?

Yeah.... Maybe t's a fan haha

Argonautomobile · Sep 23, 2017, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

Yeah.... Maybe t's a fan haha

Maybe

I can see being bothered by that, though. I thought it was a silly thing to say in the movie.

Sep 23, 2017, 07:42 PM

I feel so disconnected from everything right now. Numb. I'm enjoying reading the couch since I've been awake, but am having trouble finding a way to contribute. Like I'm here observing everything, but I'm also very not here. Does this make sense to anyone? Don't feel like you have to reply. It's a part rhetorical question and part not.

I hope everyone is doing okay.

unaluna · Sep 23, 2017, 07:46 PM

(((Daisy))) Its kinda very stream of consciousness, everybody bouncing offa everybody else. Its pretty cool i think. We dont always reach this. Apparently im not the only one who got bbq sauce tonight!