Couch 153: Couch slouch

Welcome on the couch!

Thinking about just not showing up for T in a good hour.

That would be the first time I cancel in 2years. Should be a pretty clear :you f... up"-statement, shouldn't it?

Really annoyed because my govt disability thing hasn't been assessed yet even though 2 weeks ago i was told i was waiting to be assigned a planner, i am house sittikng the ex's house and last week the real estate turned up for an inspection i knew nothing about and the dogs were running all over the house, just then the land lords turned up unannounced and I still feel crap after yesterdaays session.

I've got one good lead.
Yesterday I had two.

I understand what you're saying, and I guess part of me wishes that was an option for me. That I could shop around, finally realize that RoboT is the therapist of my dreams or whatever, and then we get back to business.

It's just not reality for me. RoboT and I are done at the end of December regardless of how I feel about him. And I know that he's going to view this as me reacting to the looming "retirement". That's what he said when I tried to terminate with him 6 weeks ago. (Way to not take ownership of the way you influenced that action, jerk).

No, at this rate there would be no going back. At this rate we have 12 sessions left, best case scenario.

I know you're trying to be helpful, and I appreciate it. I'm just cranky because I had a dream about him last night and I don't want to think about him anymore.

Session in exactly 10 mins. I'm rather nervous and all over the place. Can definitely feel my heart racing in my chest. I brought my own tissues just in case.

I'm in your pocket if you want

Doesn't your T have tissues for you?

Hope it went well...

Unconditional positive regard means seeing things (people) as they really are and accepting that reality, not: seeing them as one wishes them to be and ignoring reality - i think im the queen of that.

I am not sure if unconditional positive regard includes seeing that some people are *holes and not worth your time. If it does, then I am totally in.
It's confusing to me, however, where the word "positive" fits into that scenario. Oh wait, unless it means when you are POSITIVE someone is an *hole.

Your ideas intrigue me and I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.

More seriously--isn't therapy predicated on clients not seeing them as they really are?

I don't really see the point of having UPR for a therapeutic persona.

And you ACCEPT that they are a butt, and you dont expect them to give you roses. By george, i think youve got it!

Youre doing it for yourself - no need to go poking around in your dentist's mouth. They dont have to be perfect for you to get better. Youre not joined at tbe hip.

Eta - why the need to judge them??

They don't have to be perfect but they do have to be competent and do no harm.

Would you have stayed on as a patient of that dentist who gave patients HIV? Or a surgeon who cut off the wrong limb? Hey, they're only human too. So UPR them?

Eta to your eta: who said anything about judging? But if that has to be done, the client gets to do it, nobody else.

I think there is a difference between competent therapists who make mistakes and therapists who just suck for various reasons. Personally I don't expect perfection, but I also could not deal with gross incompetence, and I don't think ANYONE should.

We are talking about two different things. Nevermind.

Judging them is among the few fun things to do with their ilk. You have to not judge real people. Therapist are completely fair game.

You shouldnt judge elk. Theyre just doing what comes naturally! Its not their fault theyre game.

Thank you for being so welcoming! Have my T appointment in a few hours, I feel like there's so much to talk about I don't know how it will fit in 1 hour. Usually I can't think of anything important to bring up til after I leave, today is the opposite ��

Ok that made me giggle!!

I'm feeling the same way, since it's my second session with a new T. I've often found it helpful to list the things you want to discuss on a piece of paper and bring it with you. Maybe at the beginning, you could share the list and then decide on what to focus on? Sometimes I've thought certain topics would take a long time, then realized that I didn't need to talk as much as I'd thought about them once I start.

I worry about both of you

That was ****ing hilarious.

I laughed, too!

I'm reading a Greek text and just came across this line:

κρεῖττον εἶναι...θεραπεύεσθαι μᾶλλον ἢ θεραπεύειν. (θεραπεύω being the root for therapist, basic meaning to serve>>to heal.)

Which means in the context of this site, "it is better to be therapized (=be a client) than to be a therapist."

(In the context of this Greek text, it's more like "it is better to be paid court to than to pay court." Also funny in the context of this site, depending on your opinion of therapists.)