Couch 153: Couch slouch

That's a good point, about the building trust. I also don't want him approaching me with preconceived notions about what I'm like or what I'm feeling. T and MC probably have their own theories about why I react the way I do to things, but new guy is almost a sort of second (well, third, I suppose) opinion. So starting fresh makes sense.

Yeah, I understand this. MC was recently saying how he and T talk about stuff with me sometimes...and I had asked T recently to tell me when they talked and what about. And she seemed to agree to do that. But she didn't. So I have this feeling almost of "Mom" and "Dad" talking about me behind my back. I told T what MC had said when I saw her this week, and she said sometimes MC will share that I'd e-mailed or a concern he had about me. But, like, I still wish T had told me about those...might have to ask MC about that Monday.

Apple Pie Oreos are a thing. Just sayin'.

But should they be?

No. It was like, 1. My mother would never use my name, she just always called me "the baby". I ASKED her to use my name, and she refused. So i think i rarely heard it.

And 2, i asked how i got my name, and it was like, they didnt know what else to call me. Its a pretty common name in italian, but the americanized version that they gave me is just kinda plain, and similar in spelling to my brothers name (same vowels, different consonants, same pattern!). My brother got our grandfathers name, so that always seemed special.

3. Right to be alive is a whole other thing. That was my mothers issue with me too. She had guilt from her mother, who was a surviving twin.

Yes.



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Iwas in a department store walking towards one of those wall to ceiling mirrors and I couldnt understand why the person walking towards me wouldnt get out of the way until i realised it was amirror at the last moment.

See, you could have stopped right there, decide no more "shoulding" on yourself. Instead of calling it some kind of transference, cuz that just muddles it and loses track of an action you could take. You dont have to figure ANYTHING out to the end in order to decide to stop shoulding.

Now the flipping multiquote works.

Sounds like fake apple pie using ritz crackers. Use enough sugar fat and salt and people will eat well nevermind.

I might be becoming orthorexic. Except for fake no calorie chocolate. God obviously wants me to have that.

I cant do it on my fancy new phone. I used to give lessons on how to when i had my old fake blackberry treo. But i was so much younger then, im older than that now.

Eta - my gf and i went to see Home Again, reese witherspoon making out with a younger guy. My gf also sees my same chiro. So you can imagine a good time was had by all. Cute movie anyway.

I am reminded of the time I asked SD if she would eat you if necessary to survive (I forget the exact context, possibly you guys were roommates in a nursing home?) and she said no, you would taste terrible because of the no-fat no-sugar no-salt diet. Keeps you safe!

The oreo cookies are supposedly graham. It's the apple creme I can't imagine.

SD I am with you, oreos and other cookie/candy things really should just be the original. apple pie oreos?! GROSS.

Gives me an opportunity to mention of how the fall of the Roman Empire was marked by exactly such bizarre foodstuffs...

No wonder they were pukin all the time! lol ah ha ha boy that was a good 'un!

Eta oh you set me up dint you? You know i cant resist a good straight line. Well that was the best!!!

You know vomitoria weren't actually for vomiting, right...?

Eta: that's why you keep me around, right? Excellent source of straight lines. Say good night, Gracie!

*puffs quietly on a cigar*

Oh you two...

Delirium killed the couch!

Couch killers.

Wow guess so....

Hi couch... trying to wake it back up. What's going on in your world? Anyone around?

MC has commented on the "should" thing numerous times. Like sometimes he'll stop me in the middle of a sentence if I'm like, "But I feel like I should be doing..." or "I shouldn't be feeling..." It's gotten so that, at least in there, I can often catch myself in the middle of saying it.

I'm pretty sure it comes from my mom, because she has this image of how people "should" be, so I was expected to live up to that. And I fear falling short of people's expectations. Or of being screwed up. Like "No normal person would feel x..." But figuring out where it comes from and actually being able to change those thoughts are two different things. I guess it comes back to the whole modifying the schemas thing that MC talks about, how that can happen in therapy and through...wait for it...transference.

"A vomitorium is a passage situated below or behind a tier of seats in an amphitheatre or a stadium, through which big crowds can exit rapidly at the end of a performance. They can also be pathways for actors to enter and leave stage"

Oh the things one can learn just by hanging out here on the couch. I never knew this!

Getting ready for work on an early Sunday morning is wrong on so many levels.

I was teasing earlier. Now I feel bad.
Waiting on H to get ready so that we can go into NYC. Today is the day I eat a street hot dog! Other than that, no clue what we're going to do.

I've never been to NYC, I hope you have an enjoyable time!