Couch 157: Fair Value

My study has thirteen lights.

Back home!!! Ugh, the traffic. At least i did a decent urine test for a change. I feel achey all over and i want a cup of tea. I could just be dehydrated and stressed out from anticipating this gp apointment. But it wasnt too bad. So im sitting with a heating pad, and gonna make some anais tea.

My gp looked in my ears, which he hadnt done in a while, and i was like, boy good thing i cleaned that right one out this morning, there were a few potatoes in there! He goes, there were still a few potatoes left in there!

I got some divorce cake (we didn’t have a wedding cake) on the way home and can’t eat it, want a slice? Anyone?

The icing is the same color as Info’s hair.

I presume the cake will stay good until your Thu appointment with Info?

I don’t think Info deserves cake, do you?

Eta: Oh, speaking of cats in court...

Haha!

No, I wasn't thinking of her deserving cake but mostly presenting cake-as-her-hair-color to her and just......pausing. In utter silence. With a most meaningful look.

I'd consider that a session well spent?

Hmm....that reminds me, I could get super yellow (the color current T dyes her hair) cake as an Xmas gift for current T!

I'm suddenly down. Turned the lights on, took a pill. Waiting for my soul to warm up...

Now you’re thinking!

my son and i both think the mystery flavor oreos tasted like fruity pebbles. but with a hint of something else. also, they made my toungue numb. i don't think i'll be eating any more of them...

i want to find the hot cocoa ones though!

(((CE)))

Don’t know what grocery chains you have out there, but the internet says they’re at Target and Walmart.

They are good, I just don’t feel like eating anything much these days.

*offers blankets and a hot drink*

I got a polite email rejection on the graphic design job I applied for some months ago. Oh well, I knew my 3 years doing admin support after my last graphic design job would cost me...

The resemblance is uncanny. Its my haircut, my baggy sweater and pants, my walking stick... im totes jealous the cat stays across his shoulders!!

Hugs /headnods around as appropriate.

*hugs* I'm sorry

I might be better off staying my current job despite how I complain a lot about it, especially on facebook. In the sense that at least my bosses seem OK with my time off for therapy. New boss just signed the official hospital outpatient clinic note for my last session without any questions.

I wanted that job, sigh... But then I wasn't sure when / how I'd disclose the "I need time off periodically" thing...

Hugs... it sucks that your country stigmatizes so much

I had to bandage my thumb + wrist to stabilize the thumb as I managed to hurt it somehow (it's swollen and blue, but don't know how I hurt it). Now my head keeps screaming at me that wearing bandages is attention seeking and to take it off. Sigh.

Keep that bandage on! It's not attention seeking. Sometimes our inner critics are huge jerks *hugs*

Will see... have to decide on whether to keep it on for T or not

At least I'm able to make nice bandages on my arm myself. I should get an award for that or something

If stability is important, please keep it on for T. If his concern isn't welcome (though any decent person would express concern!), you can always tell him you don't want to talk about it.

I've no idea how to do bandages. I feel first aid is a great life skill to have

"What did you do?" - "I don't know" -"uhmmm... how can you not know?" - "I wish I knew"



How ate you doing today my dear? I hope going home was ok yesterday

*hugs* teared up, but thankfully didn't start crying on public transport

My mother wanted to give me a birthday hug (eff no!!!) and she insisted even though I put my arm between us, ughhhh. Fortunately no argument though my dad was being a loud <bleep!>

I still can't figure out how some people today (fixed an FB setting yesterday) figured out about my birthday. They're folks who haven't interacted with me in any shape or form in many months / years. And I know my privacy settings are set so only me can see what people post on my timeline.

I'm weird: I only want wishes (though I avoid wishes too since I generally wish I didn't exist) from people who are actually friends (you and capt are! <3), and thankfully most friends understand why the day is hard.

Luckily no one bothered me at home so I cried quietly, SHed for comfort and validation and did my best.

Another stupid reason to feel anxious...

T can see me walking to his office through his window. I don't want him to see me
Sometimes he can make a comment, like "Are you limping?" or "Is it a new coat?"

I want to exist only in his cabinet, not outside. So every time I walk past his window I wish I had an invisibility cloak or something

Can you tell him this?

I can't prohibit him from looking through a window