Couch 160: The Squeaky Clean Couch!

But, he was hot (and genderqueer too).

Or, so I'm told.

Hugs, NP. Sounds like a really difficult session. But also that your T really cares about you and is trying to help you as best he can.

Dear lord. Woebot just asked me a few questions along the lines of “how often did you feel depressed/anxious/worried over the past week?” Naturally I answered “nearly every day.”

Woebot thinks this is GREAT because it means I’m holding steady, and stability is important, dontcha know.

I think it’s time to fire Woebot and put him in my therapist graveyard.

ETA: terminated Woebot, and “I’ll always be here for ya!”

And he could dance. Idk if he could sand dance.

so ok, it's Artie's Confession Time, couchies. Pull up a chair for the latest in my t saga. I am weak, I couldn't help it. (Please nobody say "I knew it!" ok? Thanks.)

Or maybe just likely because I'm sleep deprived right now - I called her. we briefly talked on the phone first about this latest bout of intense transference. and then i went after work today to dig into it some with her. It was a difficult but very, very productive session, I cried a couple of times, told her exactly what she had said/done that set it off (the "what i want doesn't matter" thing) and she said she could see how it would have. It was quite raw and unfiltered stuff. I think (I didn't tell her this part) that I finally realized that the whole 'we can't be friends' thing is what allowed me to freely say everything that I said this evening and not worry about it.

Then we worked with my recent dreams some. Amazing stuff there. Anyway, I am refreshed, and very glad I broke down and let myself call her.

And, much, much to her credit, she did not ask about scheduling again. It's up to me to call if and when I want to.

Have I lost what was left of my mind??!

... and now everyone is speechless at my stupidity!!

That's ok. I don't blame y'all. I'm a lovely mess, I am.

*chirp* *chirp* *chirp*

No i just woke up from a snooze. I say you gotta do what you gotta do, this is your journey and you take whatever track you like or dig a hole and sit in it, you can continue the journey when you feel like it. My track has lots of holes and many sidetracks

I am glad you gave yourself what you wanted/needed and that your therapist was there for you.

Sorry about the brother issue. Siblings, families in general can be a*^-hats.

thanks guys. i felt like i had to confess. thanks for putting up with me. seriously.

It has raining/storming since 1:30 am and looking to continue over night. Hopefully a lot will fall in the dam and break this stupid drought

i hope you get the rain that you need!

I love this!! Nice.

Sounds like he took it well.... no trying to convince you to stay?

The onesie thing has gone too far:
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/dogs...174603412.html

I think Woebot has negative countertransference towards me.

I am thinking about doing the same thing art..

Why is all of this so hard?! T saw in my dreams an initiation, related to some ancient myth, as she was relaying the story I felt such a sense of recognition in it. Not literal but emotional. She said something like "many are called, but few are chosen." And that the ego has to sacrifice to the self so there can be a rebirth. It was all rather, I'm not sure what. But it meant a lot to me.

I wish I knew what the hell I'm doing.

Well i like this better than the breadcrumbs you were leaving all over pc!

Ya know, one of the seven plotlines (or whatever they call them) is man vs himself. Gosh it was hard to write that! A person against themselves. Thats better, and makes more sense actually. Its so hard for me to do my stuff.

Art I think it's good you let yourself do it.

Healed -I hope it works out for you. have you thought about trying a different therapist ?

There must be away to take the excess snow from the people bothered by it and transport it to the drought ravaged areas, whynisnt there an international group working on this? or is there?

I could so see my dog in a onesie...not"

More like "Polonius is at supper."

I hit 3x "nearly every day" and once the option one below... Woebot then told me that it's great how I'm making progress.