[MoxieDoxie]

Anyone here go to therapy, talk about their crap, leave and never think about the session or their T again until they arrive the next week?

[LonesomeTonight]

Not I!

[DP_2017]

I wish.... I tried so hard not to be and failed miserably, now life is hell because of it. Sigh...

(they should warn you before hand of how bad this can really get)

[88Butterfly88]

I'm not super attached. I see her Thursdays. By Monday I'll usually be wishing to see her again just because I need to bring up the issue again with someone, not necessarily her. I just don't have anyone else to talk to about traumatic memories. We rarely e-mail, I think we've only had two e-mail conversations in a year that weren't related to scheduling. My current t to me is an average t. She's not the best I've had but she serves her purpose. Since I don't have to pay her since it's state funded I'm not complaining. When I had ts I felt closer to I was a little more attached. She doesn't show much emotion so it's hard for me to get close to her emotionally. I do share quite a bit with her though.

I wasn't attached at all to my last T. I didn't have any kind of rapport with her either. So I decided to move on. Studies show that the therapeutic alliance is one of the main indicators of success in therapy.

[UnderRugSwept]

I am not attached to T1 at all. Probably attached to T2 in a healthy way. I don't think about my appts too much after I leave, though.

[maybeblue]

I'm attached and I certainly think about it a lot...probably that's why I'm on this forum so much. But if I'm totally honest, I might be more attached to the process than I am to him. I like feeling listened to and understood. He talks too, but shares very little about himself (which is fine with me). But it does mean I don't really know him.

[Deejay14]

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

Anyone here go to therapy, talk about their crap, leave and never think about the session or their T again until they arrive the next week?

I used to think about my session but no definitely not attached to any of my therapist over the years.

[AllHeart]

Not attached to current t at all. Out of 4 t's, the only one I was attached to was the one that lacked good boundaries. As boundaries got worse, it became an addiction. Ugh.

I do think about my next session at times during the week because of my need for and fear of therapy. Not for anything related to attachment.

Of course I think about my session. I also prepare sessions in advance - if I am super upset about something that happened, "how will I phrase this in session?" Is a common thought. It actually helps, because through imagining saying it, I also get down to the core of what exactly made me upset in the situation, which helps me feel less overwhelmed and/or actually solve part of it.

And I like/trust my pdoc and T. Also, I visit this forum a lot, which is about therapy.

Attachment? Not sure if that is the right word. I do realize they are paid professionals, and not friends or family, and more than that: I like it that way. I don't feel the desire to be special in their eyes, or to see/speak them three times a week. I don't think I have any transference going on (I say 'think' because, would I know if I had?).
We have a good working relationship. I don't think that's the same as being attached.

But given that they do fill an important and necessary position in my life, of course I think about them. I think anyone who visits a therapist or a doctor for an important reason (namely, symptoms that bother them - whether they be mental or somatic) has that. If you see a neurologist every three months for migraines, and suddenly one of your migraines goes together with a hallucination, you would probably think "Have to remember to tell the doc about that" because it might help the doctor treat your migraines. Sore left toe? "What advice did my physical therapist give me again for my sore right toe?" Because your toe bothers you.

I'm not attached to the persons. I'm attached to feeling better.

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

Anyone here go to therapy, talk about their crap, leave and never think about the session or their T again until they arrive the next week?

That, to me, does not describe lack of attachment to the therapist, more a lack of interest in therapy and investigation. I felt all those things intensely (sometimes extremely) and yet the desires were not attached to the T, much more to my interest in resolving my issues and introspection. And to the fun of the exploration. I never felt attached to my first T (more the opposite, quite repulsed, especially in the end) and I think mildly, quite healthily attached to the second T. But my interest and motivation to tell them about myself and to go to sessions were very high. I think, for me, because I was primarily interested in myself.

[catnip123]

I'm not attached to my therapist

[zoiecat]

I think about my sessions a lot only because I want to get better and I dissociate so much that I actually have to record sessions and listen back when I'm more grounded. Some sessions are better than others depending on what we talked about that day.

I don't count down the minutes or days before my next session it's more of a I have to get ready for my next session. I tried a journal almost everyday so I know what's going on in my head and I will highlight different things for my journal that I want to talk about in the next session I like to be prepared otherwise I feel like I'm wasting both of our time.

I also think about my therapist a lot during the week not that I am attached or anyting but I guess I think of them like I think of anybody else in my life I remember the conversation I tried to tell myself what would he say so that I can deal with issues that come up in everyday life. I do not use any outside contact with him but I do try to use the skills that he teaches me so for that reason I think about him between sessions.

I would not say that I'm attached at all if anything I try to push away. Lately I've noticed that I may have some transference going on but not in the way that most people here refer to it. My transference is more negative. I have major issues and I know that I need to continue therapy but I go back and forth all the time with wanting to quit I'm trying to find reasons to quit without feeling guilty. Maybe that is what fuels my negative transference.

I do believe if he allowed outside contact though such as emailing or texting I would probably become very attached and dependent. I really don't want that so I'm glad that he doesn't do outside contact.

[Amyjay]

I am very committed to my therapy so I often think about what has happened in therapy and work on issues during the week which obviously involves thinking about the therapist to a degree but I don't think of our "relationship" so much. My therapist has important skills that are very helpful for me. I feel like I am attached to the therapy, but not so much to her as such. I trust her to do her job and to be present for me within the therapeutic hour. I trust that space and time is available for me to do my therapy thing. I do actively process past sessions (I record them) and think about and plan for the upcoming session. But, I don't feel "attached" to the therapist. There isn't any thing I want from her that she isn't already doing. (Like touch or contact between sessions. We don't do those and I don't want those). Our relationship is very professional.
Sometimes I think SHE wants more, like she seems to want to comfort me at times or to take time to ground at the end of session before going out into the world. She seems to stall a bit for time sometimes. (I am a "it's 3 0'clock, it's time for me to go now" and get up an go kind of person).
But yeah.
Nah.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by Breadfish

Of course I think about my session. I also prepare sessions in advance - if I am super upset about something that happened, "how will I phrase this in session?" Is a common thought. It actually helps, because through imagining saying it, I also get down to the core of what exactly made me upset in the situation, which helps me feel less overwhelmed and/or actually solve part of it.

And I like/trust my pdoc and T. Also, I visit this forum a lot, which is about therapy.

Attachment? Not sure if that is the right word. I do realize they are paid professionals, and not friends or family, and more than that: I like it that way. I don't feel the desire to be special in their eyes, or to see/speak them three times a week. I don't think I have any transference going on (I say 'think' because, would I know if I had?).
We have a good working relationship. I don't think that's the same as being attached.

But given that they do fill an important and necessary position in my life, of course I think about them. I think anyone who visits a therapist or a doctor for an important reason (namely, symptoms that bother them - whether they be mental or somatic) has that. If you see a neurologist every three months for migraines, and suddenly one of your migraines goes together with a hallucination, you would probably think "Have to remember to tell the doc about that" because it might help the doctor treat your migraines. Sore left toe? "What advice did my physical therapist give me again for my sore right toe?" Because your toe bothers you.

I'm not attached to the persons. I'm attached to feeling better.

Agreed to this. That is how i feel as well, though I do like my T and do care what she thinks, but i am well aware that I pay her and do not wish to be her friend or want to know more that what she tells me about her life.

[bobcat21]

I'm definitely not attached in fact if she told me hey I'm leaving my practice next month in my head I'd say finally. We used to sort be on the same page but lately we aren't which is disappointing to say the least.

[feralkittymom]

Attachment seems like a loaded word as it's used on PC. I certainly had a healthy attachment to my former T, as well as paternal transference. But it wasn't the sort of attachment I read about here so often; it wasn't tortured, or obsessive, it didn't make me feel hurt.

I think I have a similarly healthy, but more casual attachment to current T: positive, but no transference. I wouldn't expect transference because I worked through those feelings with former T, so those needs were met.

I think you can have attachment without transference, but I'm not so sure you can have transference without attachment.

I think about sessions mostly for what they tell me about me. I don't generally plan ahead, but there are topics that carry over.

[mostlylurking]

Originally Posted by maybeblue

I'm attached and I certainly think about it a lot...probably that's why I'm on this forum so much. But if I'm totally honest, I might be more attached to the process than I am to him. I like feeling listened to and understood. He talks too, but shares very little about himself (which is fine with me). But it does mean I don't really know him.

I think I feel similarly. I do feel attached to the way he is as a therapist, to the process of releasing certain thoughts and feelings to him each week, to the safety net of emailing him if something really distressful happens, and to his office. I'm sure the attachment to his office is symbolic, it's not like it's a place of inspirational beauty or something. I just associate it with peace and safety.

But my T doesn't disclose much at all about himself. I know him as a therapist very well. I know how he thinks, how much compassion he has, how careful and professional he is. I know what he looks like when he's trying not to be angry, trying not to laugh, trying not to cry, and when he is worried about me. But I don't feel I could ever say, as some have about their T's -- under different circumstances than mine -- that I love him, because honestly I really don't know much about him. In my particular case I actually feel it would be disrespectful to say I love him because I couldn't -- you can't love a person you know next to nothing about. I don't even know what he reads or watches on TV or whether he has pets. And that's okay with me.

[mostlylurking]

Originally Posted by Breadfish

Of course I think about my session. I also prepare sessions in advance - if I am super upset about something that happened, "how will I phrase this in session?" Is a common thought. It actually helps, because through imagining saying it, I also get down to the core of what exactly made me upset in the situation, which helps me feel less overwhelmed and/or actually solve part of it.

I also find that imagining how I will explain something to my T has led to a lot of further insights, further emotions, etc and is almost a kind of therapy in between therapy.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

I am attached in the sense that I enjoy our interactions and like who she is as a person. I believe that the work we do together is valuable. I will miss her and the interactions we have once therapy is finished. But I don’t feel attached in the sense that I am particularly focused on the relationship with my therapist. I don’t see that as a good or a bad thing, by the way, just what is for me.

I often talk about my crap and leave, because there are things I really don’t have an outlet for anywhere else. But between I do think about our sessions. Often something t has said becomes a springboard for new ideas, or it tumbles around in my brain for a while until I sort it out.

[tomatenoir]

Originally Posted by Breadfish

Attachment? Not sure if that is the right word. I do realize they are paid professionals, and not friends or family, and more than that: I like it that way. I don't feel the desire to be special in their eyes, or to see/speak them three times a week. I don't think I have any transference going on (I say 'think' because, would I know if I had?).
We have a good working relationship. I don't think that's the same as being attached.

I'm not attached to the persons. I'm attached to feeling better.

Thank you, I wish I could have articulated this in my last session.

I like my therapist, I think about him, I hope he cares about me, I hope to find meaning in what we do. I don't need to be his best friend or super special to him.

If I'm honest with myself I do find him attractive, and based on how many similar interests we have, I think we'd probably be at least casual friends if we'd met some other way. The reason why I went to see him was because he sounded like someone relatable, after all!

But I'm in a happy, loving marriage and can remind myself I'm only seeing his best side. An outside relationship is out of the question - - been down that road before, no thank you.

Last week he said a few things that make me wonder if he thinks I want to be super special to him. I think I completely failed at explaining myself -- there's a difference between wanting to be someone's favourite and wanting your relationship with them to matter.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

Anyone here go to therapy, talk about their crap, leave and never think about the session or their T again until they arrive the next week?

Me.

I like my therapist a lot, he gets me, but no I don’t think of him between sessions. I doubt that means I’m not attached to him tho, but what do I know

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

Anyone here go to therapy, talk about their crap, leave and never think about the session or their T again until they arrive the next week?

But 90% of therapy happens between sessions.
If we don't think about things then how can we work through them.

[satsuma]

Originally Posted by Mouse_62

But 90% of therapy happens between sessions.
If we don't think about things then how can we work through them.

Maybe some people think about the things as objective things without thinking about the therapist.

It probably depends on the person and what kind of therapy they have as well as on the T.

I'm hugely attached to my T, sometimes I feel more independent which I am pleased about but then sometimes I go back to really strong attachment.

[DP_2017]

I envy everyone who has no attachment, it must be awesome.

I do regret not going with a woman, I would not be in this position but then again, I probably would have quit ages ago as well.