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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: US
Posts: 13,284
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#1
I slipped back a little last session when I got hung up about our relationship again. I sent emails after the session about my heart hurting because our relationship isn't mutual. I also wrote again that I want to die because of my physical pain.
She asked me to call her so I did. She said I'm not physically or emotionally well now. I agree. So she's looking for a group. She says nothing changed in our relationship. She's a professional and my T. She cares about me and feels love for me, but it's not about her and me, but about my connections in real life. Sometimes I try to forget that because she's so warm and friendly. It does hurt my heart though I know she's right. Mostly we've been discussing my physical health in sessions. I see the geriatric psychiatrist next week. I hate meds! Trying to adjust to gabapentin for the second time because I need it for my sciatic pain. Not sure what I want from this thread. No one can help. |
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#2
But it is mutual. A feeling of respect toward one another.
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rainbow8
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
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#3
Is she looking for a group for other people with chronic pain? I'd think that could possibly be helpful for you. I think your T really cares and might feel she's not sure how to help you with the struggles with pain.
Also, you may want to try seeing if there are any Tai Chi or Qi Gong classes around you (they're somewhat similar)--I've been taking Qi Gong, and in my last class, the instructor said a couple of the exercises she was showing us were good for sciatica. Though I forget if you're getting physical therapy or seeing a chiropractor--if that's the case, they may not want you doing outside exercises. |
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circlesincircles, ElectricManatee, growlycat, rainbow8, WarmFuzzySocks
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: US
Posts: 13,284
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#4
Thank you. You're right, but I have attachment issues so I want more. T likes me very much, and I like her. We have some things in common also. I have a few close friends in real life but T is the best! She can't be my friend and my T, I know, but sometimes it's so hard for me to accept the reality, especially since I'm suffering with my medical problems.
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coolibrarian, SalingerEsme
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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#5
((((((( rainbow )))))))
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rainbow8
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: Upstate NY
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#6
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SalingerEsme
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Anonymous45127, BonnieJean, CantExplain, circlesincircles, ElectricManatee, Favorite Jeans, rainbow8, SalingerEsme, skysblue, unaluna
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Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 303
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#7
Quote:
I thanked my therapist in the acknowledgments in my book too. I asked if she was ok with me gifting her a copy. She told me she had already bought it, which meant the world to me. |
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coolibrarian
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Anonymous45127, coolibrarian, Favorite Jeans, rainbow8, SalingerEsme, skysblue
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Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: United States
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#8
Quote:
I go through cycles of wanting more from my therapist and accepting the relationship for what it is. It's helped at times to remember the cyclical nature of the longing when it's especially strong. Also having my therapist normalize and welcome my longing as healthy attachment striving - along with acknowledging that she can't meet those needs for me. She also gently directs me around how to meet my own needs. I still struggle with wanting her to meet them, but it feels ok to try to team up, so to speak, to meet my needs together. Sending warm thoughts ❤️ |
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coolibrarian
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Anonymous45127, coolibrarian, LonesomeTonight, rainbow8, skysblue
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#9
Sorry about your continued challenges, rainbow A support group of others struggling with similar physical issues and/or depression might not be a bad idea, it can be very helpful to talk with people who know exactly what you are going through because they are just experiencing or have experienced the same. Maybe you could also find some new friends among them? I met one of my best friends in a mental health-related peer support group and it's currently one of the personal relationships that I appreciate the most, I think it is for both of us.
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2011
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#10
Quote:
Also, you may just find that the group is a good place to be able to air some of your issues with people dealing with very similar things. Mainly, I want to tell you that you come across as searingly honest and I wish you the best in your search for those who CAN help! |
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rainbow8
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Anonymous45127, rainbow8, SalingerEsme, unaluna
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2014
Location: US
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#11
Rainbow this must be so frustrating to have everyone focus on the emotions that come from physical pain but not on actually fixing the gd pain. You can treat the depression sure but why not treat the cause. I'm sorry rainbow and wish you the best.
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Anonymous45127, circlesincircles, LonesomeTonight, rainbow8, unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
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#12
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rainbow8, unaluna
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
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#13
I believe that depression is among the correct responses to chronic pain. I am always surprised when those who identify themselves as being in the health care field of any sort act as though depression is an unusual or incorrect response that needs fixing. In my opinion, it is not. Any number of things that happen are depressing and to respond like some chirpy pollyanna would seem to be more a cause for concern than depressed.
But a group might help you socialize more or get out etc. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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Anonymous45127, circlesincircles, growlycat, LonesomeTonight, rainbow8, SalingerEsme, skysblue, WarmFuzzySocks
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
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#14
And yet we chirpy polliesanna get cast aside like so much smiley driftwood
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rainbow8
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skysblue
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Therapy Ninja
Member Since Jan 2007
Location: How did I get here?
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#15
If you find a group let us know how it goes.
Does swimming help alleviate any pain? I know that some gyms offer over 50 group swims. |
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LonesomeTonight
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: US
Posts: 13,284
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#16
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Thanks, Fuzzy. Quote:
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LonesomeTonight
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circlesincircles
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: US
Posts: 13,284
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15 9,983 hugs
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#17
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Thanks, growly. |
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growlycat, LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,533
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#18
For the pain of lying down, could it maybe help to get one of those adjustable beds? (where parts can go up and down). Or if that's not doable/affordable, they make various shapes of pillows for, say, putting between your legs if you're on your side, under your knees if you're on your back, etc. (I mostly know about them from pregnancy). Possibly something like that could put your body in a more comfortable position?
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rainbow8
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Member
Member Since May 2013
Location: USA
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#19
I wonder if it would also be helpful if you found a support forum or in-person group for people dealing with sciatica? Or chronic pain problems in general? It seems like it could be helpful to get validation and tips/suggestions from people who are suffering from the same thing, in addition to the emotional support you get here and in therapy.
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LonesomeTonight, rainbow8
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
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#20
Have you considered getting a pet? It could give you comfort and something to focus on.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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