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#451
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***Adds to the hope package for Lemoncake***
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![]() Anastasia~, CantExplain, SalingerEsme
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#452
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Do you hate me?
Can you give me a sign or anything I miss you |
![]() Anastasia~, Anonymous43207, CantExplain, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, SalingerEsme
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#453
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well... goodbye then...
never thought this is how it would end but life goes on doesn't it. always
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![]() Anastasia~, Anonymous43207, Anonymous56789, atisketatasket, Echos Myron redux, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, Lrad123, NP_Complete, RaineD, SalingerEsme, SummerTime12, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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#454
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Quote:
I'm sorry...Do you want to talk about what happened at all? Feel free to PM. ![]() |
![]() CantExplain, captgut, SalingerEsme, unaluna
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#455
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Dear T,
Random teary-eyed missing you/longing/attachment sort of stuff. I think ex-MC (and maybe you?) appeared in my dream last night--probably better that I don't really remember it. I do remember eating lots of doughnuts--not sure what that part was about. Oh, and doing a jigsaw puzzle with the guy friend with whom I have a long, complicated history, only we couldn't seem to figure out how to put pieces together. (Gee, I wonder what that could possibly mean... ![]() Hope your trip is going well. Take care. Love, LT |
![]() Anastasia~, CantExplain, Lemoncake, SalingerEsme
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#456
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8 days later and I’m already wishing I had succeeded. What does it matter if I feel hope thinking about friends and school and work? It all falls away when I get back home to my husband who does not appreciate anything I do and is unwilling to work on changing things. He’s what my life revolves around, and that feels hopeless right now. It’s felt hopeless for a long time now. I don’t want to be the only one trying anymore.
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![]() Anastasia~, CantExplain, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete
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#457
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....T?
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![]() Anastasia~, Echos Myron redux, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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#458
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What's supposed to happen now? How do we fix this? You're supposed to call me in the morning, but I don't know what to say to you. I **** up everything. You're my only IRL support and now I feel so damn lonely. I miss you.
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![]() Anastasia~, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, WarmFuzzySocks
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![]() SalingerEsme
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#459
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Oh...
I just remembered that I was wearing that t-shirt when I last saw you and you recognised the name and said "is that the guy you went and saw in the record shop?" You remembered how I told you back in March about being scared but going anyway and cramming myself into that tiny room with all the music geeks... people outside peering through the windows in the snow... Because you remember everything. Because you care enough and you are interested enough. I really don't think I could ever find another therapist like you. |
![]() Anastasia~, Echos Myron redux, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, WarmFuzzySocks
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#460
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Will you email me back about that? I kind of hope so because it's not an easy email to write and leave hanging. But if not it's okay. I'm feeling loving towards you again anyway.
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![]() Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, SalingerEsme, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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![]() SalingerEsme
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#461
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...and then we talked about T1. And I said how if I went back to him now he probably wouldn't even remember who I was. And you said you couldn't imagine how someone could forget me.
And I said... but he's not like you. You remember. You remember things that I say. And you laughed and said "except the letter 'L'", referring to how you'd thought my recent email had the subject line "blah" when actually (I'd corrected, with mock outrage) it was "bah" - an interjection of frustration. I love you... ![]() |
![]() Anastasia~, half_awakexx, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, WarmFuzzySocks
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![]() LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, SalingerEsme
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#462
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Can it be Tuesday, yet? I have a lot to talk to you about. Everything you said last session was true and I've been sitting in it since then. I feel like I can't bring myself out of it because I'm stuck in it too much.
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![]() Anastasia~, atisketatasket, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, SalingerEsme
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#463
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I am an adult.
I am an adult. I am an adult. I am not needy. ********************* I am in shock, 20 minutes after I posted the above due to you changing my appointment, I feel not only peaceful, but unbelievably peaceful even with all that's going on. It's not something I expected, but it is nice to not feel frantic. ![]() Last edited by Anastasia~; Aug 18, 2018 at 03:20 PM. |
![]() Argonautomobile, atisketatasket, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, lucozader, SalingerEsme, WarmFuzzySocks, zoiecat
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#464
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For how much I pushed back against weekly - I think I miss you already knowing you'll be out of town this coming week and I won't see you again til the 30th. Thank you for telling me where you're going without my asking. Just looked at the 10 day forecast for there looks like it's gonna be gorgeous weather!! I hope you have so much fun.
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![]() LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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![]() LonesomeTonight
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#465
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Sigh, T. I agree with you that I need more help and support, but what if we can't find anything?
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![]() Anastasia~, CantExplain, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, WarmFuzzySocks
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#466
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apparently I'm just delusional and t said he's not giving up on me, I still don't want to see him though
__________________
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![]() CantExplain, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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#467
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Which of you said "delusional"?
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Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
![]() SalingerEsme
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#468
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me... t said that (im paraphrasing) that I'm making all of this up in my head... and blamed it on my inner child not getting what she needed but she can't get it from him
the problem is that he did give it to me for 5 years. you can't come back from that. you can't take all that away and expect me to be ok!! I don't wanna see him and I said I'd make an apptointment which won't be for a long time probably
__________________
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![]() atisketatasket, CantExplain, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, unaluna
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#469
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I could hear the shock and disappointment in your voice when you realized we never stopped. Yes it is less frequent, but it still happens, so. Yeah.
I don't believe we are able to stop. For reasons we cannot tell you. I am sorry we let you down. Sorry we didn't tell you the truth. But know you know it. And now you know why we don't deserve to come anymore. |
![]() CantExplain, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, skeksi, WarmFuzzySocks
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#470
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I dreamt of you, the dream sucked! You were happy and excited to leave for holiday and said the break from me was best part, and in the end I walked out!
Now this didn't happen, so why am I suddenly lacking any sort of connection because of a dream. You are not that insensitive person in that dream, this I know, but wow it was harsh! |
![]() CantExplain, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, SalingerEsme
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#471
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Quote:
![]()
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
![]() SalingerEsme
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![]() Amyjay, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, skeksi, WarmFuzzySocks
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#472
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Possible trigger:
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![]() 88Butterfly88, Argonautomobile, CantExplain, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, SummerTime12, WarmFuzzySocks
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![]() SalingerEsme
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#473
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This is too long for R to leave you ( his clients). Something you wrote a long time ago, is something with which I agree. If T's chooses to work with trauma etc, then they have to level up to the responsibility, especially in private practice .A lot of thought should be put into leaving for a month, and the consequences and the safety plans put in place. They can't just casually be like peace out and good luck. I have been worrying about you, and I hope you weather this with R, bc I basically like him from all the sum-total of stories. This is too long though!
__________________
Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck Last edited by SalingerEsme; Aug 19, 2018 at 06:33 AM. |
![]() CantExplain, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete
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#474
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Quote:
__________________
Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck |
![]() CantExplain
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![]() Glittering, LonesomeTonight
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#475
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Feeling weird has turned into feeling very very bad.
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![]() 88Butterfly88, Anastasia~, Anonymous43207, Argonautomobile, CantExplain, Echos Myron redux, ElectricManatee, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Closed Thread |
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