Couch 179: Even-numbered days in a year

For me, October has been a month of crises and ruptures.

I hope at some point my boss, who is being a jerk, will get over himself. I need to have some peace. But he cares too much about himself. I'm tired of caring. But it makes things more stressful. Over it.

I'm not sure what people do with them actually... mine are just in my purse. They have the serenity prayer on them so I suppose it's a mobile version of that to carry in your pocket. Except I rarely have pockets in my clothes most days...

What about Groundhog Day?

You must feel strongly about this. You don't normally make mistakes!

T will be so surprised and happy. I went to a DBT group today. It was pretty good. The other people were around my age. I think I might have upset the T a little. I said that it's not wise to be in wise mind 100% of the time. She said you should be. Sadly, I didn't give a good enough example. I used crossing the street. I should have used finding a snake. You wouldn't sit there an mindfully think about the snake. Your fight or flight will kick in, and you'll react to the situation by instinct. I also had a problem with the T about "peace". She kept saying that when you're in wise mind, you're at peace. That's not necessarily true. I guess this T has her own black and white issues.

And it looks like H might have finally found a job! Only took him 3 years... It seems like a really good job too: some projects are for the d.o.d. H has also started doing Lift.

And btw, H hasn't been to the hospital in quite a while. He stopped at #37.

Things are hopefully turning around!

I know hairdressers think it is an art and sometimes it is, i just want someone to layer my hair, thats hairdressing 101 right? Thats what apprentices start out doing. They want to charge me for a style cut $AU30 upwards. I like my style this is more of a trim. I hate going but i cant layer myself.

Isnt that just a touristy thing for that town not an actual holiday.

In my town we have a pineapple festival but its organised by the local pineapple grower. Thats ridiculous, who wants to be Pineapple Princess?

It’s not a holiday but it’s oh so much more than just a local tourist thing.

Plus it has a popular movie named for it.

People I know with AA chips carry them around and look at them when they need to. Hold them, rub them, etc.

Its about a groundhog predicting the end of winter right? Surely walking in the woods and observing groundhogs running about would be the same thing. Its like where i live if you see emus with more than 2 chicks its going to be good rains. Its not neccessarily true.

Whose T thinks that rituals are important? My T said that once and i didnt feel i needed to know why. Now i am curiuos.

I didn’t say it was true. It’s just a fun superstition. Also I think there’s some rule it has to be when the groundhog first emerges from its burrow for the day.

I do like it when the groundhog bites someone, which happens regularly.

Better than being the Melon Princess? Real thing near here!

I apparently misinterpreted the tone of his repeated “whatever.” I was reading it in more of an angry tone. Like, “Fine, whatever!” But then when we were texting later, he was very light and joking around like all was fine. So then I realized I had his tone wrong, that it had been more like, “sure, whatever, I don’t care!” Probably doing a poor job of explaining (awake in middle of the night), but I think I’d expected him to be annoyed so was projecting.

Any help in the partners and caregivers forum for my friend?

I went back to the store and left my email address and phone number, the manager said she would watch the CCTV footage then email me at around 6:15pm.

After todays lovely talk with my mum this morning, I emailed R telling him that I hated everything about him and wouldn't see him on the 2nd of october.When I finally replied back to his email confirming my new timetable.

I posted but I don't think i said anything you didn't say first.

Now email 3 to R :

S

I'm seeing R tomorrow. but he replied back saying my emails concerned him.

*pulls blanket over head*

Today's going that well.

Thanks i appreciate it. I think the skype is a good idea.

You've got this, Lemoncake. Sending safe hugs.

I misinterpret h's similar "I don't care" when I tell him I want to go to a drumming circle or something. He says he means "that's fine, have fun" but I hear "I don't care about you." Interesting. I wonder if I'll start hearing him differently now... it would not surprise me because I feel so different, so... whole, since my recent realization, acceptance of and speaking out loud to t that I'm gay. Everything w h has been easier this past week - no arguments. I know he's not perfect, but I suspect I've been projecting my own crap on him for a long time while I was in such deep denial. Hmm. Is it Thursday yet? Haha.

Life is so interesting.

Is that really projecting, though? "I don't care" seems kind of harsh. It is common knowledge that texts can be misinterpreted, so it seems like most people accommodate that by trying to be less ambiguous. In that situation, my wife would probably say, "Sounds good, have fun!" Same amount of effort, totally different connotation.