Couch 179: Even-numbered days in a year

I’m so sorry...I will say they predicted my brother-in-law’s mother’s time left with amazing accuracy, but it was her going off dialysis, not the cancer that she had , so I think that’s more predictable. You seem like I be handling this much better than I imagine I’d be able to...

I miss snake charmer. She helped me so much when ex-T left.

*passes una a dustrag*

Don’t forget the baseboards!

ETA: doesn’t Lemoncake love to mop?

(((Raine)))

Thanks, he prepared me well.

I've been grieving for the past 3.5 months. I knew this day would come. I just didn't think it would be so soon. Life is so fragile.

Im modren - i use swiffer junk. Lemon just loves to lick! Seriously, the tile floors are not bad. Its the rest of the space. But now that im doing it, i dont know why i didnt do it before. Of course, i havent really DONE anything yet. Mostly got rid of junk mail and sorted laundry. And swifferring. I do have a bag of shoes to donate.

I keep putting off my baseboards, not even using the utility vac to clean them. Im too fat its too hard!

I’ll come do your baseboards for you. That’s true love, ya know!

This sort of thing happens every so often. It has happened since the beginning of the forum and this couch thread. It is okay.

That is quite a proposition.

I don’t understand what is weird and what’s happening? Am I too weird? Because I can dismiss myself and let you all go back to whatever this was or wasn’t.

The Couch can be weird and confusing at times...I'd say just hang in there and it will make sense, but it won't necessarily make sense, since I've been here for a few years and it doesn't always make sense to me! More just disregard the stuff that doesn't make sense and carry on!

Goodness, no. Fans of cats and senses of humor are irreplaceable!

Like I tell my Greek students, don't think too hard. Just go with the flow.

The greatest love is cleaning out someone's tres gross fridge with really old stuff in it. (I'm sure una's isn't like that.)

Speaking of closed captioning, as we were a short while ago, my Frozen just switched over to Spanish. Lo siento?

You and my mom are currently watching the same movie...

Did you hit something on your remote by accident?

No. 2 had Frozen tissues in her office. They were somehow chilled so they were cold when you touched them.

Nope, already cleaned the fridge. I do keep some parts of the house in pretty good order. But thank you so much!!

Re spanish - no, i tol you guys last week, if the connection is bad, the tv just turns on some sort of closed captioning. This time it chose spanish! Its like living with HAL. Hm, i DO have a HAL refrigerator magnet...

Maybe i AM your mother...

Ooh, thats creepy. Maybe they were lotion tissues with menthol?

my dog is sound to sleep on his bed in the closet lol....

he went in there on his own. so glad he loves it

it's not you. it is me. i am just feeling some confusion about something that happened in therapy thursday and i'm letting it contaminate the rest of my life. i need to 'stop it' *cue bob newhart*

see i said something to t on thursday. she responded to what i said by asking me some questions re: how what i'd said could be perceived by her or someone else. that turned what i thought was an appropriate, normal, responsible thing into a codependent behavior. i so did not mean what she was implying.

I shared about it in my CODA meeting this afternoon, and came up with a question to ask t this week: where is the line?!?!?! Where is the line between an appropriate, normal responsible thing and my codependent thinking I have to make her happy and/or that she can't take care of herself (as she was implying I was thinking)? Where is the line?

Like I said, I'm just all confused and it's making me question freaking everything. Even the couch.

I'm sorry y'all.

I'm really glad I decided to start going to these CODA meetings. I'm finding them more helpful than therapy in some ways.

Counterproposal?

A girl can dream...

wait wait wait - who propositioned who? whom? huh?

It's hard to say without knowing details but isn't it the bolded? If having to make someone else happy plays any role in your decision-making, it's codependent?

Judging from your Dear T post earlier--making other people happy may make us happy, but it's secondary to making ourselves happy. Other people cannot be the source of our happiness--that makes us dependent.

Be selfish. Make yourself happy. That might make others happy too. Like your husband was pleased you told him to buzz off about your driving last weekend.

i guess that's why i can't keep trying to just make other people happy. because other people are going to interpret things i say and do in their own way, any way they want to, anyway regardless of and despite my intention, so i can't worry about anybody else.

Yeah you cant offload what is really your own responsibility onto someone else. They cant know what will make you happy, for one thing. But at least you have someone to blame? But its an impossible job. They HAVE to resent you for trying to foist it off on them. If its parents telling children what to do when they grow up, the parents are trying to calm themselves.

y'know what i think that's kinda what t was getting at. but my same question remains and i'm gonna see what t says about it on thursday. where's the damn line?!