Couch 191: The Lazy Caterer Couch

I agree with all of this. And I like the term "travelmate"--I imagine Dr. T would like it as well.

Hi Couchies. My Dad bought me a fitbit today. I've walked 2.43 miles today. I went on one walk by myself and then one walk with my mom.Trying to cut back on soda and get a walking routine going. That way when I see my Dr. I can tell her this is the stuff I'm doing. Plus hopefully I will lose a little weight. I'm spoiled but so grateful my Dad bought me one. Hugs Kit

I got a FitBit, but so far it mostly just tells me I'm a couch potato, lol.

I hope it works better for you.

Great job! I use the Rally app on my phone on my walks.

I am having a hearing against one of those guys later this week. Even when I don't win it is fun to have them on the stand.

Go get em! I would love to be in the court room that day.

It should be fun. I am feeling particularly anti- therapist ******** right now

Heading over to school soon to the observatory. I hope it's not too cloudy this evening!

I’m tired today. Once in awhile my father gets bored and likes to embark on a new project. The current project is him wanting to buy some old outdated beat up short sale house in my neighborhood. He wants to purchase said house for cash and fix it. Once it’s fixd he wants me to move in to it and rent out my current house. I saw the house today and don’t like it. My house is very small but the other house is even smaller. I told my dad I’m not interested in that house but if he waits and finds a better house I may consider making a trade. However once dad gets an idea in his head there is no changing his mind so he put in an offer on the small run down house anyway and said he will just rent it out. I wish he wouldn’t spend his money in this way. He’s 68. He had a life saving full liver transplant a year ago. Recently he had surgery to remove cancer from his throat. He’s clear of the cancer but now he has pre cancerous cells on his voice box. He’s retired but got a part time job and now he wants to buy houses. I wish he would just keep letting his money accumulate. What if something happens to him? Then that house will be my mother’s problem.

I’m rambling. I’ll stop.

Why do I torture myself? I just re-read the email that lead to the rupture and just started crying. We never properly addressed it, even though we did both admit fault and move past it but it's interesting now, how differently I see it.... this was very much about him and if you compare it to the final session, it all makes a lot of sense to me. The feelings he had scared him more than the feelings I had scared me.

In other news... if anyone wants a feel good show that features a decent therapist in a few episodes "Northern Rescue" on netflix

Nobody here yet at the Observatory, I'm early so off I go on a walk around campus til somebody shows up.

I found a guy, they're running late & still waiting for the instructor. It's all good! Nice and quiet here.

3 more peeps here now so far I'm the only female pbbbbbt.

That's what Elisabeth Hevelius said.

i just looked her up. interesting!

it was actually pretty fun! they were really nice guys, young, all 3 of them are in the same class so they already knew each other, but we got along just fine sharing the 2 different telescopes. one was a 6 inch one a 10 inch . With the cloud cover tonite, it was kinda hit and miss, we spent a bit of time on the moon which wasn't really on the agenda but it was the only cloudless spot for a bit. then as the clouds moved we got to see the Pleiades and the M42 nebula, and betelgeuse, and sirius, i've forgotten what else it's all written down in the other room. There was some cluster or other I forget the name, it looked totally cool through the 6 inch telescope especially holy moly so many freakin' stars!!! I'm so glad I signed up and went, and didn't chicken out when I saw it was all guys.

eta: I'm also very glad my wise couchies helped me decide to not quit this class when I realized it was going to be harder than i'd thought. methinks there's a lesson in this for yours truly.

Our house is up on the market

Most physics classes are filled with 80% or more male. But from my experience they don't bite and are very polite :P

Sorry to hear Scarlet.

I'm sorry you're going through this, scarlet. That's got to be really hard. Big hugs. I'm remembering losing our house in California during our bankruptcy, we were living in a rental place and it was like losing my whole life, my son was only 4 when we moved there so between age 4 and 12 he did a lot of growing up there and I lost those pencil lines on the doorframes as he got taller, etc etc. I'd already been on an antidepressant before the bankruptcy but it was after that, after we moved to az I had to go on 2 different ones then ultimately started therapy. It's a hard process losing your home.

Seeing baby T today instead, he had an opening.

I've just done an internal flight and it's the first time I've ever been on a plane by myself. I completely underestimated how difficult I would find it by myself. I'm a nervous flier anyway but I felt like I was going to throw up on the way to the airport, and my stomach still hasn't recovered even though I have landed, left the airport and I'm now sat in a cafe. I'm going back tonight too...

I emailed my T and he emailed me back (I didn't get it till I landed) but it helped just to email him. I told him I had landed and thanks for the email and he emailed again saying he was glad, and he was intrigued about my trip.

My stomach hasn't really recovered and I'm struggling to eat and I feel jittery.

Does anyone else ever want to come on here and talk about your therapy experience, sit down to write, but then it just feels too complicated to try to explain? I have a session today and I don't know what to say to him right now. I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday instigated by my car breaking down. I'm going through a bit of a rough patch lately so it wasn't just the car. We also had a pre-arranged phone call yesterday. There was a tone to his voice and I don't know if it was me being a bother or him feeling helpless/not being able to help, but he wasn't his normal warm self. And I'm so very sensitive to that. He did say something to the effect of he's feeling my hopelessness and that's coming out. He also at one point called himself my "treatment provider", twice in a row. While I know that's technically true, that hurt. It's so impersonal and our relationship, at least for me, doesn't feel that impersonal. I don't know what to tell him today. I feel hurt and alone. We both acknowledged that the phone call wasn't working out very well yesterday. I feel like I've become too open with him and now he just sees that I'm some sort of freakish weirdo.

I’ve definitely been there. Or I’ve come on here and tried to explain what’s going on in therapy only to have people get hung up on one thing my T said or did instead of the whole picture. So I’ve stepped back a little. Because much of it is way too complex to explain without someone being in the room with us.

I’m sorry you’re struggling so much with your T right now. I hope you can work it out because he seems like a good T. I get yourbeing bothered by the “treatment provider” thing.i hate when my T is like “we have a professional relationship.” It’s true but still can be painful.

And today I had what I thought was this huge revelation, and he didn’t react to it as much as I expected him to. But he’s also dealing with a back injury, and seemed to be in some pain, so I imagine he isn’t fully on his game. And like he noted that I’d dropped a tissue on the floor, which sort of took me out of the moment, like couldn’t he say that st the end? And I got a haircut that he’d normally have commented on but he didn’t say anything so I was just thinking “maybe he thinks it looks terrible.” Which it probably does today. I’m rambling sorry. Just trying to say I get it.

LT

You are lucky a man noticed at all, LOL. I don't know many men who notice haircuts. He is injured and not himself and maybe he just didn't think it was important. I kinda had the same thing about something I shared and a lack of response today, I don't know baby T well so I can't say how I thought he'd act but I'll say it was super disappointing session.

Not a good session, really BLAH. I'm terrible at therapy. I just hate attention and hate talking, so when he goes on his tangents, I let him. Then I never get out what I need to and it's time to go

I brought in the email that I've had regret over and was gonna read it outloud and he told me to "give the highlights" so I thought ok well, whatever then. So I just put it down and said it wasn't important We ended up discussing T's small email reply though and how it felt dismissive which lead him to ask about feeling dismissive in my family and I was annoyed. Like dude, I'm not here for that

Looks like my break comes at a good time. Not sure he's helpful anymore