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  #226  
Old Jul 23, 2019, 08:42 PM
Anonymous43207
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drumming is wonderful and i am coming down from the anxiety of the past several days. i hope you will drum for me some thursday, as well. i want to work with last night's dream but i need someone else to drum for me so i can better get into it. and then we can work with both. and if you have any solid tips for dealing with this stupid anxiety, please put on your traditional t hat and share.
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  #227  
Old Jul 23, 2019, 08:47 PM
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velcro003 velcro003 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2008
Posts: 7,383
I feel ya on working on the anxiety, art. I'm struggling big time with it as well.

hey t: I never thought we'd discuss/work on eye contact. at least you are trying to make it as non-threatening as possible I suppose.
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  #228  
Old Jul 24, 2019, 02:42 AM
Anonymous42961
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What did I do so wrong that you never want to see me again?
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  #229  
Old Jul 24, 2019, 09:37 AM
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Lemoncake Lemoncake is offline
Roses are falling.
 
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Possible trigger:
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  #230  
Old Jul 24, 2019, 09:52 AM
Anonymous43207
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Hugs, Lemoncake.
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  #231  
Old Jul 24, 2019, 10:58 AM
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SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
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  #232  
Old Jul 24, 2019, 11:00 AM
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SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
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Dear T: I'm having SH thoughts again. I wish I could talk to you about them. I mean, I probably will when I see you on Tuesday, but I meant before then. You keep telling me we need to find a viable alternative. Well you didn't use the word viable but that's what you meant. I've never been able to find a viable alternative to SH and I've been doing this too long. Can you help me? Please tell me you can, but only if you mean it. Kit
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  #233  
Old Jul 24, 2019, 01:08 PM
Lrad123 Lrad123 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: United States
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You stifled a yawn today. I saw that. It’s ok. You’re human. Plus I was just rambling on.
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  #234  
Old Jul 24, 2019, 01:28 PM
Echos Myron redux Echos Myron redux is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,171
Today you sat with my despair. You didn't try to change it, you didnt rescue me (though you later told me you had to resist the urge to try and make it better), you just let me be in it, get it all out, the dark thoughts, the uncertainty, the sadness and the anger. You didn't try to make it better. And so you made it better. More bearable. Shared. I love you.
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  #235  
Old Jul 24, 2019, 04:20 PM
Anonymous43207
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Yeah I'm bringing wine tomorrow. K? K.
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  #236  
Old Jul 25, 2019, 01:22 AM
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SummerTime12 SummerTime12 is offline
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My husband doesn’t want me.
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  #237  
Old Jul 25, 2019, 02:30 AM
Anonymous42961
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ExT I am deeply conflicted I want to cling to you but I also want to push you away. It is soo hard.
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  #238  
Old Jul 25, 2019, 05:10 AM
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junkDNA junkDNA is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2012
Location: the woods
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Hey

I luv ya
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  #239  
Old Jul 25, 2019, 08:52 AM
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LostOnTheTrail LostOnTheTrail is offline
Human Feeling
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,826
Thank you for helping me not have to sit with that today. It wouldn't have made sense to sit with it for another two weeks.
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'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
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  #240  
Old Jul 25, 2019, 01:27 PM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2015
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Dear T,
Felt really connected to you today--thank you. Perhaps it will make me miss you more, but I think it will also help me to hold you with me better while you're gone. Also you were quite endearing when demonstrating ways I could better pretend play with my D, using the voice you'd use to talk to a child--perhaps that spoke to and comforted Little LT in a way. Travel safely, if you're in fact traveling.
Love you,
LT
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  #241  
Old Jul 25, 2019, 07:37 PM
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Mountaindewed Mountaindewed is offline
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I’d like to tell her just how bad my anxiety in public places has gotten. That I can’t really go out to eat anymore or that I can’t shop at the mall or go out on the weekend. And that I get cranky when I am out because everyone and there mother is out shopping at 10AM on Wednesday and it’s just a sensory overload. I don’t know how she’ll react though. I do fine at work which I think is good. I think I’ll be better once the kids are back in school.
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  #242  
Old Jul 25, 2019, 10:23 PM
Anonymous43207
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Hey L. Thank you a gazillion times for today. It was just as intense as I knew it would be if I read that poem to you. I'm glad that I did though, even though I am also sorry that you felt sad at the last part. I really really really liked how you actually gave me suggestions for making the poem better, not sure where that came from as you have never done that before, but I liked it. Especially when you said "I'll let you work on the last part because I don't like it." That felt very honest to me. Thank you for that.
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  #243  
Old Jul 26, 2019, 02:28 AM
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LostOnTheTrail LostOnTheTrail is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,826
Hi R,

Just some thoughts on compassion coming up. I know what compassion is - it's what I had with Chris, and...it's even 'Shall I move?' That's what compassion feels like. Thing is, I can't translate the ******** in my head when I need to reach out and ask for help. And there's only so much someone can do over text or email.
__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
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  #244  
Old Jul 26, 2019, 01:24 PM
toomanycats toomanycats is offline
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Member Since: May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,734
please come back
please come back
please come back
please com eback please come back please come back please come back please come back
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  #245  
Old Jul 26, 2019, 02:27 PM
Anonymous43207
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I edited the poem last night but did not send it to you. It still needs more work. I'll bring it next week. Thanks for your input.
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  #246  
Old Jul 26, 2019, 03:09 PM
kaleidoscopeheart kaleidoscopeheart is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 333
Thank you so much for today. I am finally starting to feel more human and I really appreciate the little ways you show you care. Thank you and I miss you already.
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  #247  
Old Jul 26, 2019, 06:02 PM
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SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
Dear T: your office called today to confirm my appointment with you for Tuesday. Somehow even hearing the receptionists voice was soothing. It helped that its the receptionist I like, instead of the one I don't like. But it made me feel a little better just knowing my appointment is coming up. Then again, I have to tell you about the battery thing. Great. (Sarcasm). I wonder how you are going to react? Maybe Tuesday can come a little later so I can delay having to tell you.
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  #248  
Old Jul 26, 2019, 09:04 PM
Anonymous42961
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And today you are like **** on my shoe. This roller coaster is just too much
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  #249  
Old Jul 26, 2019, 11:22 PM
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Spirit of Trees Spirit of Trees is offline
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Location: Earth
Posts: 189
I like myself better when I'm not being a mopey piece of ****.
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  #250  
Old Jul 27, 2019, 02:20 AM
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Lemoncake Lemoncake is offline
Roses are falling.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 10,060
You told me yesterday that it wasn't hard to care about me unconditionally.

You also tell me that you care, but I can't feel it.

One more session, then I'm going to carry on with my self sabotaging behavior like you said.
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