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#226
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drumming is wonderful and i am coming down from the anxiety of the past several days. i hope you will drum for me some thursday, as well. i want to work with last night's dream but i need someone else to drum for me so i can better get into it. and then we can work with both. and if you have any solid tips for dealing with this stupid anxiety, please put on your traditional t hat and share.
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![]() Anonymous42961, Lemoncake, Omers, Out There, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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![]() Anonymous45127
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#227
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I feel ya on working on the anxiety, art. I'm struggling big time with it as well.
hey t: I never thought we'd discuss/work on eye contact. at least you are trying to make it as non-threatening as possible I suppose. |
![]() Anonymous42961, Anonymous43207, Lemoncake, Omers, Out There, SlumberKitty
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#228
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What did I do so wrong that you never want to see me again?
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![]() Echos Myron redux, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, Omers, Out There, SlumberKitty
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![]() Anonymous45127
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#229
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Possible trigger:
__________________
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![]() Anastasia~, Anonymous42961, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, Omers, Out There, Polibeth, skeksi, SlumberKitty
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![]() Anonymous45127
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#232
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Dear T: I'm having SH thoughts again. I wish I could talk to you about them. I mean, I probably will when I see you on Tuesday, but I meant before then. You keep telling me we need to find a viable alternative. Well you didn't use the word viable but that's what you meant. I've never been able to find a viable alternative to SH and I've been doing this too long. Can you help me? Please tell me you can, but only if you mean it. Kit
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
![]() Anonymous42961, atisketatasket, Lonelyinmyheart, LonesomeTonight, Out There, skeksi
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![]() Anonymous45127
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#233
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You stifled a yawn today. I saw that. It’s ok. You’re human. Plus I was just rambling on.
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![]() Anonymous42961, LonesomeTonight, Out There, SlumberKitty
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![]() LonesomeTonight
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#234
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Today you sat with my despair. You didn't try to change it, you didnt rescue me (though you later told me you had to resist the urge to try and make it better), you just let me be in it, get it all out, the dark thoughts, the uncertainty, the sadness and the anger. You didn't try to make it better. And so you made it better. More bearable. Shared. I love you.
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![]() Anonymous42961, Lonelyinmyheart, LonesomeTonight, Out There, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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![]() Anonymous45127
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#235
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Yeah I'm bringing wine tomorrow. K? K.
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![]() LonesomeTonight, Out There, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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#236
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My husband doesn’t want me.
Possible trigger:
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![]() Anonymous42961, Echos Myron redux, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, Out There, SlumberKitty
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![]() Anonymous45127
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#237
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ExT I am deeply conflicted I want to cling to you but I also want to push you away. It is soo hard.
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![]() Out There, SlumberKitty
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![]() Anonymous45127
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#238
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Hey
I luv ya
__________________
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![]() Out There, SlumberKitty
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![]() Anonymous45127
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#239
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Thank you for helping me not have to sit with that today. It wouldn't have made sense to sit with it for another two weeks.
__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
![]() LonesomeTonight, Out There, SlumberKitty
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#240
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Dear T,
Felt really connected to you today--thank you. Perhaps it will make me miss you more, but I think it will also help me to hold you with me better while you're gone. Also you were quite endearing when demonstrating ways I could better pretend play with my D, using the voice you'd use to talk to a child--perhaps that spoke to and comforted Little LT in a way. Travel safely, if you're in fact traveling. Love you, LT |
![]() Lonelyinmyheart, Out There, SlumberKitty
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#241
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I’d like to tell her just how bad my anxiety in public places has gotten. That I can’t really go out to eat anymore or that I can’t shop at the mall or go out on the weekend. And that I get cranky when I am out because everyone and there mother is out shopping at 10AM on Wednesday and it’s just a sensory overload. I don’t know how she’ll react though. I do fine at work which I think is good. I think I’ll be better once the kids are back in school.
__________________
"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
![]() LonesomeTonight, mostlylurking, Out There, SlumberKitty
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#242
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Hey L. Thank you a gazillion times for today. It was just as intense as I knew it would be if I read that poem to you. I'm glad that I did though, even though I am also sorry that you felt sad at the last part. I really really really liked how you actually gave me suggestions for making the poem better, not sure where that came from as you have never done that before, but I liked it. Especially when you said "I'll let you work on the last part because I don't like it." That felt very honest to me. Thank you for that.
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![]() LonesomeTonight, Out There, SlumberKitty
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#243
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Hi R,
Just some thoughts on compassion coming up. I know what compassion is - it's what I had with Chris, and...it's even 'Shall I move?' That's what compassion feels like. Thing is, I can't translate the ******** in my head when I need to reach out and ask for help. And there's only so much someone can do over text or email.
__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
![]() LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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#244
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please come back
please come back please come back please com eback please come back please come back please come back please come back |
![]() Anonymous42961, Lonelyinmyheart, LonesomeTonight, mostlylurking, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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#245
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I edited the poem last night but did not send it to you. It still needs more work. I'll bring it next week. Thanks for your input.
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![]() Anonymous42961, Lemoncake, Lonelyinmyheart, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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#246
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Thank you so much for today. I am finally starting to feel more human and I really appreciate the little ways you show you care. Thank you and I miss you already.
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![]() Anonymous42961, Lonelyinmyheart, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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#247
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Dear T: your office called today to confirm my appointment with you for Tuesday. Somehow even hearing the receptionists voice was soothing. It helped that its the receptionist I like, instead of the one I don't like. But it made me feel a little better just knowing my appointment is coming up. Then again, I have to tell you about the battery thing. Great. (Sarcasm). I wonder how you are going to react? Maybe Tuesday can come a little later so I can delay having to tell you.
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
![]() Anonymous42961, Lemoncake, Lonelyinmyheart, LonesomeTonight
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#248
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And today you are like **** on my shoe. This roller coaster is just too much
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![]() Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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#249
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I like myself better when I'm not being a mopey piece of ****.
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![]() Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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#250
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You told me yesterday that it wasn't hard to care about me unconditionally.
You also tell me that you care, but I can't feel it. One more session, then I'm going to carry on with my self sabotaging behavior like you said.
__________________
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![]() Lonelyinmyheart, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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