Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLI

Catch a boat to england, baby,
Maybe to spain,
Wherever i have gone,
Wherever i've been and gone,
Wherever i have gone
The blues are all the same.

A good T shouldn't do either of those things.

Yeah but no but yeah but...

People are always coming in to pick up meds for spouses, children, parents and other rellies. In theory, the pharmacist should deny all knowledge, but their business wouldn't last long if they did that.

But the pharmacist OFFERED it. The aunt didnt ask for it. Thats why i think it crossed a line. That and its prozac - duh.

Eta - when i was maybe a preteen? But big for my age, my mother wanted me to pick up her prescription ( for The Pill i assume now), and the druggist refused to give them to me. I had no idea what was going on, of course.

Yes, that was wrong. But I can understand how it happened. Our daughter goes to a different doctor from us for that reason.

I want to come home, please

Thank you for telling me that you'll do whatever you can to still continue working with me during php. Even if that means we can't meet every day for those few weeks, telling me that you'll figure out how "check in" is comforting. I hope we can figure something out with our schedules once I hear back about the php schedule.

Dear No. 3,

Hatred.

Disdain.

Disgust.

Anger.

Hurt.

There. You make me run the gamut of emotions from A to at least H.

**** you, anyway.

ATAT

All this pain is yours exT. I wish I could express post it to you.

It means so much to me that you will let me text you while you're away. It also means so much that you would even let me have a phone call with you although I don't think I will take you up on it because I would just feel so bad. But it means so much to me that you would do those things. It shows that you genuinely care.. You even said it's only a holiday it's not as if I'm going to be doing very much when you suggested a phone call!! I feel as though I love you more and more with every passing day which is awful really because I know it's going to be heartbreaking to not see you anymore when that day eventually comes but I guess I'll have to try not to think about that.

Dear T

I left you a voicemail telling you how horrible I felt and how much I regretted telling you not to care. I also texted to say i hoped you weren't mad and I was terrified of seeing you.

Then I cancelled my session

I dont expect you to mind read or even really remember who I am but I honestly dont have the energy to face you and tell you how I feel

I think I'm done

for a little while at least

I'm so sorry for your loss, Lemon...

Dear T,
On my walk this morning, I realized that part of what you're trying to teach me is to accept caring (and love), even if it doesn't come at me in the exact form that I want it to. That people express and show it in different ways. Which will be helpful to me in many areas of my life. Now we just need to work on my ability to internalize and hold onto those feelings of caring and love.

Love,
LT

Dear T,
Also, I appreciate your saying in your email reply that you look forward to continuing working with me. It felt nice. Especially as I'd expressed fears yesterday that you were getting sick of me.
Love,
LT

HUGS @Lemoncake

Love you, it really helps to know you haven't gone far. Miss you.

Sweet Lemoncake I am so very sorry for your loss. Big hugs.

Living like a coiled spring takes a lot of effort.

@Lemoncake, I'm sorry about your grandmother.

Thank you for putting your hand on mine today and for asking first if it was ok. It's nice to feel that kind of connection with another human being and particularly you. Maybe I'll be able to tell you what I'm not telling you at some point.

It’s day #1 of your vacation and I’m feeling irked by the realization that you coaxed me into relying on you, then decided to disappear with no contact for two weeks. I can’t blame anyone but myself for falling for that one again.

I'm annoyed that I can't distinguish between my anxiety and stress. It's like they're one and the same.

T3- really good session today. I was proud with the level of eye contact I made today, maybe I am finding you less attractive idk... you just look normal to me now

**** you!