Couch 208: The Practical Couch

SE I would also send an email informing him about the money he owes you for proof.

£50 here and there I could forgive but £2-3k is a huge amount.

Between her forgetting the last appointment and my mother, I have had a 5-week break.

And as I am sitting in the waiting room it is too late to cancel.

I hope your session goes well.

It is never too late to leave. But good luck with it. I took breaks that lasted two or three months so 5 weeks sounds fine to me.
I was referring more to the just not showing up without telling the therapist. I believe in telling them no matter how late, but that is more because of how irritated that I get with students who make appointments but don't show - I don't care one way or the other if they come or not, but I do hate showing up or sticking around if they are not going to do so intentionally.
I always figured the therapist did not care one way or the other either, but I was willing to tell her I wasn't coming.

I hate this time of year - classes are almost finished but all the stupid pointless meetings. Academics are the worst meeters ever.

I would be irritated at being stood up as well and just left hanging when I could have left/whatever.

Kind of tense at work this morning. The General Manager was having a "discussion" with the person in the office next to mine. But even though the door was closed, I could hear everything the General Manager was saying, and it wasn't particularly kind. Now there is a meeting in the opposite office involving the same coworker, and it's not as intense but I credit him for keeping his cool and getting along. I was feeling pretty anxious earlier but it's starting to fade. I was feeling a lot like SH earlier but that's fading too. It's only Tuesday but can it be the weekend already?

@@ I just found the sinner with Jessica Biel.

I'm 4.20 mins in and mistake number 1: Is living next door to her in-laws.



Spoiler because I googled the show:

Well done on making it through the SH urges. When do you normally see T?

I see regular T on Thursday. Usually I see her on Wednesday but tomorrow I am seeing my Pdoc. Pastor T had surgery on Monday so it will be a few weeks before I see him. Thanks for the hugs @Lemoncake!!! for you too! Kit

I'm seeing T in a few minutes and I have no idea what to talk about. He, of course, will tell me to talk about whatever is on my mind. Chaos, utter chaos, is my mind lately.

So, Info.

Fashion report: quite nice, black leggings, dark red knee high boots, white sweater on the shoulders with a white ruffle/flap thing over a lacy tan camisole.

She went through her various therapist excuses. I told her she sounded scripted. She said she absolutely wasn’t following a script. Two sentences later, she starts “I hear that and I validate that...”.

The best part was when we got into a discussion of what encouraging means. I sent her an email telling her about my mother and saying I was upset because xyz and a few encouraging words (like hang in there or I’m sorry to hear this) would help and she wrote back,

“It is difficult to be so far away from mom when she is not feeling well. Wanting to be there to support her is frustrating and sad.. At times like this it does bring the issue of mortality to the forefront. I am glad you are going to be with your mom during this time.”

She claimed that was encouraging. I asked why she didn’t say something like hang in there and she said “but EVERYBODY says that.” :brickwall:

Lemon, seen both seasons of The Sinner, recommended.

Kit, your work tales remind me of a favorite short story: Orientation: A Short Story by Daniel Orozco | Work in Progress

@@. She wasn’t hearing what you needed from her.

Did you schedule another appointment?

OH MY GOSH! That was such a great short story. And I almost fell out of my chair laughing at the part that says: we are all members of Costco. When we got bought out, the owners were super enthralled with Costco and told us we would all get free memberships to Costco. I've used mine precisely twice in 5 months. To be fair though, it's over 30 minutes away from my house and my work, and there's only the three of us in my house. I'd be more impressed if they cut out the Costco membership and gave me back the health benefits I had under the old company and contributed to my 401k like they said they would in the beginning. Now they are saying, oh well, it's discretionary so we probably won't be contributing to it this year. Sigh. Thanks for sharing the story @@ you made my day! Kit

Lemon, I'll be curious to hear what you (and @@) thought of how The Sinner ended. Because I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Note: I only saw the first season, but it started with the beach stabbing, so apparently it's the one you mean.

I'm seriously wondering if Dr. T went through some sort of brain transplant in the couple weeks when I was terminated. Because he was incredibly validating today regarding stuff with my D and seemed like he was wiping back tears a couple times. And was talking at the end about how "we need to figure out a solution to this" and "we need to figure something out" (mostly regarding my lack of sleep due to D, but also with other struggles regarding her). I don't recall him doing the "we" thing before (unless it was something about therapeutic relationship. He also seemed completely fine with my sharing Friday the whole "I love you" fleeting thought I'd had when I was leaving a few weeks ago. Wait, I think he was wearing new socks (wide, bold stripes)--perhaps those gave him empathy superpowers? (Was wearing older ones Friday though.)

That story is both extremely funny and incredibly depressing.

Do you mean the solution or the actual ending? I don’t recall having problems with either, because I’d already suspended disbelief that a cop would take so much trouble. So they seemed to fit with that.

Well, now I'm trying to remember. I guess I'm thinking mainly (don't think this is a spoiler) about the flashback to what happened near the end. The...solution then? I will perhaps consult IMDB reviews of eps to figure out what I mean...

EMDR therapist was saying today that she thinks I should make more parent friends to normalize how stressful it is to have small children, and then she paused and said, "Oh, but sometimes you're judgy of other people's parenting."

I have mentioned before how watching people hit or disrespect their children can be distressing because it reminds me of stressful things from my childhood, but I've never said anything judgy to another parent. And my god, making new friends as an adult is difficult in the best of circumstances, much more so when you and the other person are chasing around a small child all day.

It was like a white-hot poker into feelings of loneliness and defectiveness. She apologized and clarified immediately and said she was using her joking tone, but it was just not what I needed today.

Well, that session didn't go how I thought it would. Not in a bad way, although I wasn't expecting to cry. We started talking about next week, and how we're only going to have one session. I told him I've been dreading next week all year because it's the I started telling him how my Facebook memories are all popping up from last year, showing the 2 of them in all our holiday photos. I guess that was enough to make me cry.
He did offer to do a phone session with me on Wednesday or even the morning of Thanksgiving, but I think we settled on Wednesday.
He mentioned something that I've seen written here before about keeping him in my mind over breaks and wondering if I worried that he didn't keep me in his mind. I told him I felt that once I walked out of session, he didn't think of me until next session. It's hard for me to believe that someone cares for me to be on their mind.

Well H decided not to go to doctor/urgent care/ER but he is so darn crabby. I'm tucked away in my bedroom watching Law & Order, though I might try "The Sinner" the couch has been talking about.

After 3 doses of antibiotics my throat feels fine - in fact, I feel better than I have in weeks. I was tempted to call work and tell them I'd come in but I'm excused until Saturday and lately every time I think I feel better I get thrown a curveball. If I'm still feeling better tomorrow I'll clean our bathroom (apparently, while I am sick no one else can clean). H better go to work tomorrow.

Ugh, that sucks that she said that, I'm sorry...

I agree that making friends as an adult is tough. Though I've found the friendship I made with a fellow parent of kids on the spectrum to be invaluable (met her through a Facebook group), even though we just meet for lunch maybe every other month while kids are in school (both of her sons are on the spectrum). There's another mom I met through that, and we got together a couple times (with other people there, too), but it never really "clicked."

It helps to have someone to talk about all that with. My parents tended to be friends with the parents of whoever I was friends with in elementary school, but it's not like D has "friends" per se, plus I feel like things are sort of different now than back then. Well, and my mom is really extroverted, while I'm not.

I think that's part of why it's especially validating to talk to my T about parenting stuff though, because he talks as someone who gets it and is empathetic--whether his son is actually on the spectrum or not.

Hugs, Facebook memories can be really tough. I'm glad your T offered to do a phone session with you over the holiday--I hope it helps. I imagine your T does keep you in his mind. I recall once my T saying something that implied he just didn't think about clients once they left his office, and he clarified that it wasn't the case. But I know it can be hard to trust someone is thinking of you like that. It's clear your T really cares...even if it's hard to believe.

I now have an intake appointment next week with our local sexual assault place for group therapy. The lady I spoke with said the intake therapist will want to know more about my hospitalizations to see if trauma informed therapy would be helpful and not trigger me more. Or if there's other supports they can offer.

I would highly suggest not telling your husband about this group if you start going. I made the mistake of telling mine that I was going to a DV group and that information was weaponized.