Couch 213: The Tulip couch

I have been resisting that. Is it worth watching?

It's incredibly trashy and like watching a car wreck--it's terrible but you just can't look away. A good distraction in these troubling times.

(Not sure if that's an endorsement or not, just my humble opinion.)

Enjoy. I watched all the episodes of it and I agree it's wild.

Apparently H and my insurance got messed up somehow like it does every once in a while when we recertify or update something. They said they never received proof of identity for my youngest, so they're saying she's ineligible and somehow is messing up ours. So I probably have to cancel my session with T1 and his partner until they fix it. I uploaded a letter and proof today so I'm hoping it doesn't take too long. I'm thankful that I have this insurance but it's a pain when it gets messed up.

I am feeling ill—it’s most likely bad seasonal allergies, but just in case, I am trying not to pet new cat, who normally avoids petting.

She has decided she MUST be petted. NOW.

I forget sometimes too while I'm working, when I get all competitive with myself to process more messages than the day before or my teammates and I start getting goofy in our team chat or something and I start enjoying my day... then I click on a message where the member is asking for a covid override and I remember... and feel guilty for forgetting and then I feel sad again...

but then there's another part of me that knows me being sad and feeling guilty aren't going to fix the pandemic, I'm just putting more negative energy out into the world and goodness knows we don't need anymore of that, so I try to get positive again... doesn't always work but I try.

Hugs, I'm sorry... I assume they didn't end up making you go to the ER, right?

They did make me go to the ER. I’m here now waiting to talk to the attending.

A surgery PA did my intake. This is just effing ridiculous.

So sorry Chihiro! That would be extremely frustrating!

Did you tell them something that they would have been worried about for your safety?

Those hotlines can be reactive rather than supportive

See, you have a sense of humor. That was a funny story. I dont know why you insist you dont find things funny. I think we would be most companionable.

I have never insisted I don't have a sense of humor. I don't usually have your sense of humor but I have one. Mine is rather dry and less slapsticky than yours. People often can't tell when I am playing and they take me way too seriously.

I was chatting with the hotline person and then they got weird so I hung up the line. I am so furious.

They’re letting me go; they didn’t even make me see the psychiatrist.

You have your pick of the young fillies on the Couch but you’re going after SD?

It must be true love.

No - she is just being like a cat - she is toying with us all

My chair has been cat-appropriated by Stormy

The social distancing thing is starting to feel normal to me, which I never thought would happen. The days sometimes go by slowly, but the weeks are flying by, maybe because I often lose track of what day it is. Every day feels the same, like the movie Groundhog Day. I have always thrived on routine, so maybe that's part of it. Very odd.

Highly recommend Animal Crossing New Horizons for joy and escape right now. I just bought a Nintendo Switch Lite that will be basically only for Animal Crossing and I have no regrets. But if you didn't see the point of Stardew Valley, you probably won't like Animal Crossing either.

EM- my son and I were just talking about this on our walk. It's still not fun but it is starting to feel more normal. Or something. We're finding our groove anyway.

I am exhausted. I just want to curl up and go to sleep. I don't have time for that, though. Sometimes I feel like I am busier now that I was before we had to stay home all the time. I don't know why, though, it's not like my house is any cleaner.


I am having weird dreams also.

I'm attempting to cook dinner tonight. I hope I don't kill my kids by giving them food poisoning.

And yes, I am horrible at cooking so H has always done dinners. So this is brand new to me.

Good news, my mums Doctor now thinks she does not have corona. Bad news even after this many years I still get sucked into her drama and feeling guilty about not being more caring

Big, huge trigger warning for suicide in episode 5. Be prepared. I was, until I wasn't.

I doubt you would.

Start with simple stuff like pasta and work your way up. Maybe you could get some recipes online and get the two oldest to help out so you can learn together?

I’m so mad I can’t sleep.

-I’m mad that the SI hotline people got trigger-happy and called the damn cops on me, even though I didn’t say anything different from what I’ve said the other times I called them, that I had to explain to my roommate what was going on.
-I’m mad that my therapist can’t seem to figure out how to provide a calm comforting environment for me.
-I’m mad that I have to go to work tomorrow (first day of a five-day stretch) and am working in an unfamiliar hospital with people I don’t know and too many patients and not enough nurses and family members can’t visit and it’s this practically apocalyptic environment
-I’m mad that people at work are spreading all of this toxic positivity, trying to obliviate the very real badness by Being Upbeat
-I’m mad that I’m not getting paid any extra for these insane and difficult hours, that my duty and dedication are being taken advantage of
-I’m mad (and sad) that I have to quit going to my work’s meditation sessions over Zoom because this guy I was really into (long story) keeps coming to them too and it hurts to hear his voice