Couch 221: Definitely Spam!

I kind of pictured you in the library with the door half open so you could throw out a “Good Lord” if frivolity started to set in.

Made it back to the city without incident, thank goodness!

I have very little planned today, and can't seem to settle to anything. I tried bribing myself with a bagel and a latte from the corner coffee shop but that didn't get me anywhere. I really should write and run and work on a presentation I have to give on Wednesday, but none of those things seem to be happening. Maybe I ought to try taking a nap--sometimes that helps reset things.

I have a date on Saturday with yet another guy I met on a dating app. He seems nice, and interesting--he's some sort of marketing guy for breweries, so maybe he can teach me interesting stuff about beer--though I'm not sure if I find him attractive. I guess I have this idea that since I'm unattractive, I have to settle for someone else who is unattractive. Also I guess that I have some idea about maybe since he's unattractive he'll have developed a good personality, or something? Unclear.

Unrelated TW for complete and utter TMI--consider yourself duly warned

I'm anxious about meeting with Liz today. Virtual sessions have been kind of unpleasant lately because I usually get really upset and have trouble coming back from it. I haven't felt like things are solid between us in a while. It's easier in person somehow. I am feeling some simmering anger that I don't know what to do with. It's easiest to turn it on either me or her, but I don't know how productive either of those options would be.

T texted me today to tell me she is looking forward to seeing me tomorrow. That was nice. It's a subtle way of reminding me of my appointment (it's been a month) and also it was just sort of sweet. It's times like this that I'm like, why would I want to leave?

I now know 5 people with Covid. Ironically all are in NC. My Uncle, Aunt, and Cousin, a friend had it, and now friend's husband has it. I still think it is shocking I don't know anyone in CA with it even though we have surpassed 1 Million Cases in CA. The last two years I have only known 1 person to get influenza each year (both were one of my nieces). Maybe I just don't know that many people....

I am hoping to put up the Christmas Tree this weekend. Maybe not get it all the way decorated but make a start anyway! I've been listening to Christmas music at work for the past three days. I want fudge.

We are going to use a new payroll system at work come January 1, 2021. It has me really stressed out. I had a panic attack at work yesterday because of it.

I still have guilt about my first payroll system. The company sent an update, we installed it, and it kept sending the computer into a hard wait. After i left the company to go to graduate school, 2 experienced programmers looked at it and found that one of the table updates was a byte short. I didnt even KNOW to look for something like that.

Today in amusing Dr. T exchanges: We spent much of session talking about the stress working from home and virtual schooling is having on me and H. And he suggested a few ways to talk to H about it, to figure out priorities (because no energy for everything), to give each other time to ourselves, etc. So at the end, I said that I guessed my assignment for Monday is to talk to H. Dr. T said that would be good, "But if you don't, it's not like I'm going to beat you up." Me [gesturing to computer screen]: "Well, it would be difficult to beat me up over the computer anyway." Dr. T (grinning): "I do know some people."

I got another "take care" at the end, too. Session got pretty emotional in the last part, so perhaps that contributed. Like he actually asked me if I was OK to stop where we were (when I said I knew we had to stop). Though not sure what he'd have said if I'd said no? Maybe given me a couple more minutes or something.

I have to log onto work for a one-hour training today (I'm usually off on fridays) we're getting a new critical/high-touch client in January and everyone that will be handling their messages has to attend this training. They're not doing a repeat so those of us off on Fridays got to leave an hour early yesterday to make up for having to log on today.... since we're all working at home, it's no big deal, and I liked getting off work at 2pm yesterday!

I'm trying to do homework right now but I'm failing miserably focusing on it haha. I have to read 2 journal articles (one about social media and self esteem, one about selfies, narcissism and self esteem) and then write a 400 word essay answering several questions about it. It's not due until Sunday night at midnight so I still have plenty of time. Will probably get it done this afternoon after the work training. Or tomorrow heh

I just talked to my Dad on my lunch break and he put the tree up. He asked me if I wanted bright lights or white lights. I said since we are doing a snowman themed tree, white lights. So yeah! When I get home it should be up and I can start decorating this weekend!

My eldest daughter is putting her tree up this weekeend too. She cant come home for Christmas because she has to work and is feeling a bit lonely. I dont think it is wise for our govt ro pressure the states open all the borders. For christmas. One state the most remote state is refusing to open theirs.

I'm just tired of 2020 and all the crap that has come with it. I just want there to be some happiness and cheerfulness! So I'm putting the tree up like a weekend earlier than usual. I'm sorry your eldest daughter can't come home for Christmas.

I'm not ready for a tree yet (especially because a live tree wouldn't make it to Christmas at this point), but I'm slowly beginning to make my case for more extravagant exterior illumination this year. I will most definitely be successful.

I also think we should be wearing masks i dont know what the rules are in other states but masks arent complusory here.

We got a live tree one year a bit of a mistake in a subtropical country within a week even with water it wilted and the needles started dropping. People are decorating their houses and putting their lights on which is unusual as they usually do this before the second week of December so maybe it is just the **** year we have had and people want to feel happy.

Its 9 am here and someone is cooking cabbage! Imcan smell it.

We have a fake tree (or usually several of them but I want to get the main one up). We had real trees when I was very little (I barely remember) but my cousin who is 4 years younger than me had a severe allergy to Christmas trees and a bunch of other stuff so then we switched to artificial. Even though we no longer see her at Christmas we have just stuck to artificial. One year I did buy my parents a real wreath (like made out of pine or whatever Christmas trees are!) They loved it. We kept taking it down and soaking it in the bathtub so it would last the whole season and it did! Made the whole house smell like Christmas!

My Dad puts up the outdoor lights but I bet he won't do it this early. Maybe the weekend after Thanksgiving when Mom and I are shopping he will do it.

We stopped doing real trees in our family the year an entire family in our town died when their real tree went up in flames during the night. I like our slimline artificial tree. It doesn't take up the entire living room and I'm not allergic to it. LOL! When we bought this one last year, I finally smartened up and didn't buy a prelit tree - the lights never last and you end up stringing lights in them anyway.

Ugh, I give up on today. I’m going to bed.

Wow, that's a good warning about Christmas trees! I agree about the prelit trees. I only will buy prelit for the little ones (2 feet tall or so) that I only expect to last a couple of years.

Oh, una had cabbage for dinner last night. The trade winds must be carrying the resulting gaseous residue your way.

Not exactly, but i did have brussels sprouts 2 days in a row. This morning i had chestnuts for breakfast. Whoever came up with the expression "the butterfly effect" was definitely trying to be tactful! (I just hope im not killing butterflies!)

Funny how you can be gone all day, then you walk back in the room and find youre the topic of conversation! Huh, just popular i guess!