Couch 230: Decent Communications

We filed my husband's disability in September, they did some additional testing in December, and he was approved and funds hit our bank early February. I thought that was actually rather quick, and we were fortunate he was approved the first time. Liver failure, I would suspect, would be a pretty straight-forward approval. Sounds like her medical info in on a patient portal which is really helpful; that's how my husband's was, and it made for quick review and approval.


In the meantime, she probably qualifies for Medicaid if she is unable to work due to this. I do not know the process for that though.


Family members set up a Go Fund Me following my husband's death (not really something I was interested in, but they insisted people wanted a way to help - my husband's death hit a lot of people really hard). I didn't find the fees to be terribly high, but I didn't pay too much attention to that end of things.

Thanks, but I don’t want to inflict myself on you guys—things can get pretty ugly when i rant. Better to pay Info to hear it. That way she can afford more vacations.


To add to my mood, I’ve also just had confirmed what I long suspected: that I’d been rejected for at least one tenure-track academic position because of my disability. I’m sure there were others.


It was so long ago that it doesn’t really matter now that I’m settled, but I have to say, everyone talks about the problems of being a woman in academia, yet even as a woman I’ve had far more trouble as someone with a disability.

New to this thread so I’m not sure I’m doing it right but I’m assuming I just talk about myself? It’s almost august and that’s a really weird feeling for me. A lot of process. I’ve been looking for a new hobby to start and I can’t find one. I’ve done painting and yoga before but I’m looking for something different. Maybe I’ll try crocheting?

Ah jeez. My parents are in town, and because they didn't listen to me and wait to make plans until I had my fellowship schedule, they came when I am working 12h/d 6d/wk. (We have to do this difficult rotation 10 weeks out of the year, and then much easier ones the other 42 weeks.) They've been wanting me to spend time with them every evening after I get off work, which I have been doing.


They also wanted to come to my apartment to help with some things while I was at work, so I said okay. They were here for five hours. They took out my recycling by dropping it off the second story balcony and then carrying it to the bin (instead of carrying it down the elevator/stairs like sane people). They attempted to put together a piece of Ikea furniture but put something in upside down and then couldn't finish assembling it because it can't be assembled upside down and gave up halfway through. They did not attempt to put together any of the other things that needed assembling.


My dad wants to hire someone from TaskRabbit to put together the various bits of furniture because he feels bad that he couldn't do it, but that means that someone has to be at the apartment to let the TaskRabbit person in. He wanted to arrange this RIGHT NOW but I said I was very tired and just wanted to go to sleep and that I would strongly prefer to arrange it tomorrow. I said that a few times (politely but firmly) until he stopped asking. Luckily, they can see how exhausted I am so are not insisting I go out to dinner with them tonight; they left me alone in the apartment and went back to their hotel. But honestly I think the reason they did that is because tomorrow my parents and I have to drive 1-2h each way to see family in another part of the state, which literally none of us want to do; I think they suspect that if they pressured me too hard spend time with them tonight I'd just flat-out refuse to go. It's my only day off this week; I have been working in the hospital or on call or both every day since 7/16 and I am exhausted and just want to rest. Too damn bad for me, I guess.


I love my parents. I would die for my parents. I also am driven crazy by my parents.

No clue. Acknowledging my existence is a start.


I watched this movie today, it was a romantic drama I guess. It just left me feeling "ugh". It wasn't a great movie (Nights in Rodanthe), and I watched it mainly because it was leaving Netflix today and I needed a distraction. But it just left me feeling like I've been changed somehow by my ex's actions. I can't even appreciate love or romance anymore. What's even the point of life?

Here's the sunflower I started this evening so far. H is gone on an overnight job, this afternoon they sent him with a delivery to Bullhead City, AZ about a 6 hour drive one-way. He's gonna spend the night there and drive back tomorrow, so I had the whole evening to crochet! Now it's time for sleep, since I start my work week at 6am tomorrow. Night couch!

I am seriously contemplating pretending that I have a GI bug so that I can get out of this family command performance today. None of these people asked me if I wanted to do this, or even if I was available. I know that family is important, but so is rest and so are boundaries.


(Being honest would not go well — that is not how my dad’s side of the family works.)