Couch 246: Choose Change

@SeekImprove76 welcome to MSF. I am sorry your wife is not thriving. If she had your grit she would.

Here is the first question to ask yourself and maybe her: Does she really want to do therapy and make a commitment to see it through. If not then all your effort may be futile. The person must want to get better to make progress and go to therapy regularly AND change their lifestyle. For example add exercise, healthy diet and start socializing even if only online.

The other problem is that paying for therapy out of pocket in SoCal could be very expensive.

One thing I have had to do is adjust my expectations of what my partner can do and is willing to do. I have had to spend more time on my self care because my partner is balking at getting better and doing what is needed.

Hope you have better outcome than I did, but taking care of yourself can help you endure difficult challenges longer.

@CANDC

Navajo rabbit...

I've found a podcast that has been really helpful.

I queued up the latest episode today, and got 30 seconds in...



That realisation took my breath away, and I couldn't listen to any more.

Hugs, Lost, I'm sorry. I imagine it's particularly difficult when something surprises you like that.

It's slightly unnerving that my current MSF ad is something that Dr. T and I talked about very briefly today--Yeti containers. We were talking about coffee (we just got a new coffee pot), how much he drinks in a day, and he was talking about drinking from the same container all day. I asked how long it actually stayed hot, and he said 4 hours, that it's a Yeti.

Also, he has a rather odd method for getting extra cups out of the coffee pot. He said he brews it extra strong, fills that container (which holds 2 cups), then pours more water on the same grounds to make a couple more cups of coffee. Though he said one time he did that, it was still too hot, and the water short-circuited it.

It was like Dr. T story time at points today, which was sort of nice. He shared that an ivy plant in his office (which has tendrils going all around the office) was a cutting from his grandmother's ivy, so it's probably like a 100-year-old plant (he said that).

I said I assumed she was no longer living--he said she wasn't, but that she was the youngest of his grandparents. And that most people in his family are 4 years apart, so easy to remember ages. Including his siblings. I asked if he just had one sister and one brother (he's mentioned both)--yes--and where he was in the birth order. He's the oldest. Which is what I figured. Like when ex-MC said he was the youngest of 4, and it was like, "Yep, that fits." (I mentioned that about ex-MC to Dr. T and we laughed about it--they used to work together.) Oh, and Dr. T said his wife is also 4 years younger than him.

Also, tied to something I was talking about regarding D that his son got really emotional about the death of one of their fish when he was younger. I said H's mom told me that he'd cried when the first plant he owned died (they never had pets). It was nice being able to just talk about things like that and not having Dr. T shut down when I ask any follow-up questions (granted, I also wasn't pushing much). That disclosure isn't always a bad thing.

Zajirushi mugs hold heat in the longest that I have found - so much so that even after 3-4 hours it is still too hot too drink if you put it in really hot. It is a great Japanese brand. Much better in my experience than yeti.

Wow, that's a long time.

And now H and I are sick. Thankfully, not covid and we don't think the flu. Just a really bad head cold. Life is sure throwing punches at me since L left.

I'm sorry, Scarlet. I hope you both feel better soon. Apparently, there are many things going around right now, at least in my area.

My H has hernia surgery on Jan. 9, so I'm just hoping he can keep from catching anything that would postpone that.

Thats what im hearing too. Even Bernie Sanders has covid.

Americans really like working into their 80s it would seem.

i don't think i'll ever actually be able to retire. not being pessimistic, just being realistic.

Yes - I can put hot in it before I go to bed and it will be drinkable the next morning. I had a typo - it is Zojirushi not zajirushi

I like working and will probably keep at it. My dad kept working as a consultant into his early 80s - covid stopped his work and then the companies he worked with had rearranged things so they don't need him -and he is still pissed off about it.

Right now my hobby is steamed puddings and thermal cooking. My winter solstice pudding came out better than I had even hoped it would.

Was it a figgy pudding?

What’s in a winter solstice pudding? Eye of newt?

My bread machine is a Zojirushi. It is fantastic.

I am not sure being a U.S. Senator is work…more like posturing and living off the public. Any 80-year-old could do it. Four of them are over 80.

Bernie, Grassley, hmm - dianne's gone, so not her; okay, i cheated. How could i forget Mitch?! I dont know Risch - did he replace the airport foot tapper or what? Eta - yes, larry craig.

The recipe called it an xmas pudding - I used cherries and mixed peel etc. I watched a couple of youtube videos - one from the English Heritage group who have a very snarky re-enactor who plays the cook on an estate - Mrs. Crocombe. I also made her roly poly pudding which was interesting.

I have several of the zo appliances but I am envious of your bread machine. I have an older zo model that is smaller and works fine but doesn't do all the fancy stuff yours does

Oh the Downton Abbey cook was Mrs Slocombe. I like Crocombe - as in croquembouche?

I like my Zojirushi appliances too. The hot pot and the rice cooker have held up to almost daily use for years.

I don’t actually use any of the fancy features, just want it to make a gf loaf.

I always try the fancy features on my appliances at least just once - often they are not worth the extra effort to pay attention to - but I like to know

I love my hot water pot that keeps water hot all the time- I use it several times a day and the rice cooker about 1-2 times a week (with only one or two people eating - it makes enough that I have leftover rice in the fridge most of the time- I also dehydrate it so I can have instant brown rice)

As in Avis Crocombe - a victorian cook

mmm beef/barley soup is just the ticket today. i came down with a sore throat/earache just in time for January (boo). the warm soup is soothing all the way around. my sister's gonna send me a care package of christmas cookies her and our other sister made, looking forward to that. One of these years I really need to get my butt in gear and make my own christmas cookies....

I subscribed, thanks - the sunchoke soup looked interesting.