Couch 246: Choose Change

My T had to cancel our session (first after the holidays) because he's seriously ill. We had a short phone call, but that almost made it worse... is there anyone around I can pm for a bit or smth?

I'm around if you still need to talk.

Rudy warning of an artic blast for you US folk.

How is your H doing?

Thank you, Lemon. I'm currently trying to distract myself, but i'm sure I'll be here from time to time and chatting. Thank you for your offer.

It is kind of hard because he has decided to not tell his clients what's wrong (yet) and I'm gonna see him next in two weeks if nothing else changes. So I pretty much know nothing, though from piecing together that he doesn't think he will die within a day or two and that he didn't seem sick at all, I think the most likely thing is cancer or something similar. He has basically said that he's got serious health problems right now and will be back in two weeks, but on the phone he also sounded more like "I want to be able to work again" than "I know Ill be back to work". He's only 63 so I am trying to tell myself he has some chances, but at the same time it's really hard.

At the same time, I'm relatively convinced that it has to be something major, because I know of relatively few symptoms that will go from "I'm fine" to "I'm seriously ill" in three weeks. And three weeks ago, he was like "I'm feeling fine and healthy and will stay like this for a while longer".

I'm glad we talked a lot about him being gone/sick and so on. I have always been very worried about this, so I have some skills. But it still feels very hard... also the session we might have in a few weeks. Like how do you say you're scared of somebody dying prematurely while you need them while they literally face that reality and probably worry about **** themselves.

I'm sorry @ChickenNoodleSoup that you're having to deal with this. As you may or may not recall, I faced this with my ex-T. I won't lie. It's hard. Probably one of the most difficult things I've had to face with someone outside of the family.

It can change the nature of your relationship with them, and however much you try not to let it, once you know the details, you can't un-know them. Then you're potentially into a whole new territory of worrying about them in a way that perhaps you didn't before. So I would respectfully suggest that you have a think about exactly what level of detail you are prepared to deal with (assuming that your T is willing to share).

But you have a good relationship with your T and I'm sure you will work through it together.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that the news isn't as bad as you fear. If you want to pm me, please don't hesitate, but absolutely no pressure on you to do so. If I can help I will.

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Hugs, CNS. I would also be really distressed if this happened, so I understand and empathize with you. Maybe it's more of an acute illness like, say, pneumonia or a kidney infection, where it's probably not life-threatening, but he doesn't know how quickly he'll be back to normal? I hope it's not something like cancer (or if it is, that it's a more easily treated kind). Maybe he's unsure of what's going on right now (or at least what a treatment plan or prognosis might be) and doesn't want to make any guarantees of when he'll be back? So that he doesn't break any promises?

I'm aware that might not help much... I do wonder if he might be willing to answer some sort of questions for you, like maybe not give any details, but explain a bit more.

Thanks for asking, Lemon! He's doing quite well, able to get around, do some walking, some minor things around the house (his surgeon told him he should be "puttering," so he's doing that). Can't lift anything over 10 lbs. for a month, so I'm on that sort of duty. Can't drive until next week at the earliest, and then just start with sort distances. He doesn't seem to be in too much pain right now, from what he said (didn't even take any of the prescription painkillers they gave him, just ibuprofen).

Thank you very much for your comment. I might pm you tomorrow, currently quite sleepy since I only got like 2 hours before.

But honestly, this hit me much harder than anyone close to me before. Like grandpa dies, okay fine. Pets and so on, a day and it's fine. I actually can't think of somebody else where I'd feel like this.

Thank you, LT. Honestly, it just seems unlikely that it's something "less bad". Like he has talked to me while recovering from the flu or something before, you can hear somebody be a bit lethargic, coughing... my mom's a pharmacist so I know enough about illnesses to know how they affect you kind of. I don't think he'd sound like this if it was like say a broken leg... or a more serious thing like diabetes. It just doesn't sound right with the rest, you're not gonna go "I have a kidney infection, but I plan to work on getting back to work".

Sorry to hear, CNS. Hope all turns out well.

Today is National Marzipan Day. I never ate the marzipan I was asking about before—tried it raw and ugh, way too SWEEEET. But a coworker just gave me 25 lemons, so in the oven right now are lemon muffins with marzipan chips in them.

We just got a power flicker. They are expecting high winds (40+ mph) this weekend, snow, rain, and power outages. Ive got water and tuna fish and cookies.

So long as there’s cookies!

I have a cat huddled on top of me because I won’t turn the heat above 70.

I failed to get cookies in preparation for my winter storm. I'm not happy about that.

Do you also have blankets, a flashlight, batteries, candles and warm clothing in case the power goes out?

You don't have to go into full doomsday prepper territory, but it would also help you with inflation further down the line too.

Disclaimer : I'm good at telling other to prep, and doing it for my mother and youngest sister, but lousy at doing it for myself.

Lessons for next time. Comfort food is always a need.

Up the yin-yang! I'm a hoarder, remember? The only thing i was lacking recently was bottled water. I have candles but i wont use them - they are a fire hazard. I also have 3 all purpose fire extinguishers.

Well done Una O.

I'm proud of you .

I hope you stay safe.

This really taking care of myself is starting to take hold as a concept but it has a long way to go.

All progress is still progress. You'll get there when you get there.



UK weather: 'Worst snow storm in 14 years' to batter UK with 'temperatures to drop to... - LBC

This is for us. I did a food shop for my youngest sister who lives alone.

Winter is coming.

Couchies experiencing/expecting bad weather, stay safe and warm!

It is extremely cold here and a bit early for our week of single digit to negative weather- not able to walk the dogs far because their feet get too cold (I know time to head home when one holds up his paw - but he wants to go so we just keep it short). The cat is quite cranky.
I don't consider being prepared for winter to be anything special or worthy of kudos in and of itself. My mother (and everyone else) used to run out and get milk and bread - which just made us tease her because we didn't really eat bread or milk but by golly she wanted us to have it if we got iced or snowed in - where we lived growing up - ice was more of a reality than snow.