Couch 246: Choose Change

We only ate together on holidays - each aunt got one of the 3. Birthdays were held on sundays at 4 pmish, after you ate dinner at home. Card parties were friday, saturday, sunday nights, again after dinner. My mom made pizza in later years.

As the only girl, i wasnt really included in the playing, except for Monopoly or card games. I sat and read books on the holidays.

So twice this week I've been called assertive and a b***h.

Examples include:

1. Telling someone in a corridor : "If you want to walk with me, you're going to have to catch up. I'm not waiting".

2. Posting in a group chat : "Getting other people's work, signed off is not my responsibility".

3. I had agreed to meet up with someone at 11. I had already waited 15 mins and after three missed calls and messages. They finally replied. They had overslept. I told them I was not going to wait. That I was leaving. She said I completely changed and turned into a b****h when I was angry. I wasn't particularly angry, just didn't want to wait for her to get dressed. Then factor in travel time for her to get to me. I didn't even have time to have coffee and breakfast in the morning so wanted to eat.

Most people are not used to women having boundaries. The old me used to put the needs over others before my own.

I'm sorry for your loss, Artie. And thankful it was a peaceful experience. I've had to do it with 3 of my babies. It's hard.

So sorry, Artie. I'm glad your soul feels at peace though.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm sure Stormy knew and felt that he was loved. You gave him a wonderful life and a safe home with you.

Thanks Scarlet. Even when they're clearly ready, like Stormy was... it's still hard.


Thanks LT.


thanks Lemon. He did. there's definitely an emptiness in the house today.

Lemon, those instances sound responsible, professional, and no-nonsense to me.

#Growth without therapy or maybe it's because of all the bad therapy I did?

Couch mini-poll. Which phrase do you like better:

“Kindly copy me on the email.”

“Please copy me on the email.”

I prefer the second, the first sounds like an order.

Context: non-native English speaker colleague who prefers “kindly” to “please.”

Couch mini-poll. Which phrase do you like better:

“Kindly copy me on the email.”

“Please copy me on the email.”

I prefer the second, the first sounds like an order.

Context: non-native English speaker colleague who prefers “kindly” to “please.”

I would say "please...."
but I don't read offense into "Kindly..." - even without knowing it was from a non-native english speaker - I would first consider it to be a regional thing. Knowing it was from a non-native english speaker would really cause me to not think twice about it.
If it is a situation where you are trying to explain to the colleague a difference in how the two could be received -the explanation of order v request might put it into an understandable context for them.

In conclusion - I don't have strong feelings about it either way. For me, it is a tie.

In other philosophical enquiry, did you all know that if you click on the number of replies for a thread, it shows you the number of posts per contributor? I am thinking we should have some sort of prize giving ceremony for the leader board. We could donate prizes: an Artie afghan, jar of stopdog's dehydrated fruit (not a euphemism), una's ... well, I am not sure we want to pry into what una would donate. This could really have legs.