Couch 249: The Self Care Couch

Thanks for the suggestion, but no. I get those regularly and this is different. Doc said it consists of the same stuff as the stones, but I can't imagine why within half a day a huge amount would suddenly pop up (since I have the stones so often, I check my tonsils daily, so it wasn't there for even a day).

I get that. The thing with Dr. T is, he's not going to say something just because I want to hear it if it's not true. So I do trust when he says it that he means it. I do think back with suspicion on some things ex-MC has said, as he seems more the "tell people what they want to hear" type.

Hive mind 😜!

I hope the specialist can help give you an answer.

"Yes, boss."

Isnt feeling so distraught over the delay a little like the woman in love with an alarm clock? I say this as someone who cant take out her trash or recycleables and sleeps surrounded by piles of them. Im attached to them. I had to READ a book about attachment, about 15 years ago now, to figure out what was missing in my life. That is beyond pathetic.

My life was/is like the twilight zone episode with ann jillian.

Hm, that is really odd. I hope they can figure out what it is and that it's easily fixable. If they were swollen or you had other symptoms, I'd ask if they'd checked into mononucleosis, as that involved a lot of, well, white stuff. But mine were incredibly swollen when I had that (to the point that I needed steroids so that I could eat anything non-liquid). Plus I was exhausted. Maybe you have a milder version.

Yikes, i wasnt expecting responses! I dont even know what normal time is anymore! But i guess this is! Duh!

Yes, I had a similar issue a couple times when I considered replacing Dr. T. Two potential T's (at different times) said he shouldn't even be a therapist. I know a few people on here have said or implied that, but it's different when a T I'd have potentially worked with to says it. At first, it felt really validating when they said it, but as I thought about it, it wouldn't have been overly helpful in the long run if that was their opinion of him.

It's like if you split up with a spouse or a long-term partner and someone said, "Well, you never should have been together anyway" or "I never liked him." It can seem validating, but it's also very black and white. Because in a way, it feels like, "What was wrong with you to stay with this person so long?" Relationships are more complicated than that.

One thing I appreciate about my R (Dr. T's backup, who I'm seeing for one session next week) is that she can be a little critical or questioning of some things he's said or done while still clearly respecting him as a T and my decision to keep seeing him. I mean, granted, she leases space from him, so I don't think she'd want to be like, "Wow, he totally sucks," but I think it's more that she sees the layers of complexity in relationships. That she'd be the same if I were talking to her about another T she'd never met.

The students' showcase is tomorrow.

My colleague has invited me to read one of my poems as well.

It's a piece I love, and under normal circumstances (as 'Professional Lost') I would relish the opportunity to memorise and then recite it.

At the moment I feel like I'm going to need the piece of paper.

People have the impression that grief is one thing...and I'm learning that it really isn't.

What does this mean?

This happened recently with the guy I see for meds. We also basically have a therapy session when we meet to discuss medication. He said my ex was a schmuck. While it was validating, and I agree, I also thought "what does that say about me that I stayed with this schmuck for so long".

Speaking of meds, has anyone tried Cymbalta/duloxetine? Did it make you doze off a few hours after taking it and does that eventually go away?

I dont understand why you dont understand me. I watch court tv. Those guys major in non-sequiturs. And frankly i think my post was totally sequitur.

T isn't one to judge another person who she doesn't know. I don't think she's ever judged ex-T and even when I consult with her about L, she focuses her response about me and what I can do. She always keeps a positive attitude (which can be annoying sometimes).

L has judged ex-T. She says things like ex-T makes her angry that she couldn't handle her own transference. Or that I can slam a door with her and she won't get mad. I never thought she was insulting me by being with ex-T for any amount of time. I think she was just validating my experience. She doesn't know very many positive good things from ex-T, but that's because I wasn't able to hold onto any after ex-T left. L does encourage me to talk to T when I'm having a hard time. And she wants me, one day to try to work things through with J.

Dr. T's backup is R, but my regular T's/MC have been a B and two D's. Hence my not using first initials, as I'd have confused myself and everyone else if I were using "D" (though I suppose they could have been D1 and D2 or something).

Hugs, Lost. Nothing wrong with having the piece of paper, even as just a backup in case you need it. I do think grief can be very complicated.

Yeah we got that!!!

Your funny

Yes, exactly. Sorry your med guy said that.

I've tried Cymbalta in the past and am trying to recall whether it made me sleepy. I know once I upped the dose, it caused twitching in my legs. And seemed to have negative psychological effects, but I can't recall whether I was on a second med at the time (that p-doc liked to switch around my meds a bunch).

I did have that effect from Celexa and one of the other SSRIs (I know Cymbalta is an SNRI). Could you try taking it at night maybe? For me on meds in general, some side effects go away after a bit and others linger. How long have you been taking it?

Ha! I did think of the "D" thing when I was typing it, but the "B" didn't register till you said something. Funny, too, that B is ex-T...

Haha...took me a minute!

I get how the positive attitude can be annoying.


With L, it sounds like she was validating and responding to specific things ex-T did rather than ex-T as a whole. I hope you found it validating. I'm glad she encourages you to talk to T. I appreciate that Dr. T is fine with me consulting with R, even at times when he's not on vacation.

I've been taking it for two weeks and he wants me to double the dose next week. I'm not doing that because I'd be comatose at that point. I'm also taking Wellbutrin. I want to try ketamine, which he does, but I don't know if we're at that point yet and there are some logistical things I'd have to work out in order to try it.

There was not a single seq in there. I honestly did not understand any of it

Boy i try to be succinct and instead i just suc

But it was deep and profound and insightful and even gut-wrenching. Too bad you missed it. I will try harder next time not to suc so much when i seq.

I think it’s the -cinct part you need, not the suc-, if you want to be seq-.

Maybe stopdog has higher standards than the lawyers on Court TV?

Now i dont understand what YOU are saying!

If SD is better, then why isnt SHE on tv?