Who is this guy? New experiences in therapy

OMG,

Today my cell rang and it was T! I didn't expect a call from him...had not placed one. He was calling just to see how I was since my surgery Friday. OMG who is this guy?

I am left with a sense of this whole relationship being unreal. Who calls out of the blue and asks if you're okay? No-one I ever knew that's for sure! It's a new experience.

As a chld I was sick quite a bit with ear infections, sore throats, etc. For all intents and purposes, I was home alone much of the time even though I had a big family. My grandmother didn't iike me and when she was there, she either abused or ignored me.

It's interesting: In therapy, we repeat many patterns from our chldhood and recognize them. Then we move on to create healthier patterns of caring. This is the part that's new for me.

So.....I ask again....who is this caring person?

hi, rdoc
why you can be happy, after what you just been threw, there are a lot of caring people or guardian angels, we been hurt much we lose hope. say thank you god, i needed a caring person at this time when am so scare from surgery, peace and blessng.
rdoc

Yay for GOOD new experiences!!!
=) kiya

Aw, cool. But i think we are supposed to be treated that way while in fact mostly we are not.

That was thoughtful of him.

I wish some random person/friend calls me too and asks how I am >.>
That was so nice of him, Charlotte.

<font color="purple">Clandestine</font>

Yes, it was nice, thoughtful, kind, and unexpected.

I have a session later today. So, why am I waiting for the other shoe to drop? Accepting the kindness...the receiving is unfamiliar terrain. The child within is afraid to let her guard down. The adult self is a tad cynical & suspicious of motives. There are no parts of me that expect to be cared for. There is a constant state of alert; maybe this is a manifestation of the complex ptsd T spoke of.

My affirmations today: I will be. I will allow myself to be cared for. I savor the caring by those with whom I share my self. I will accept the motive of caring.

Sigh

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MissCharlotte said:

My affirmations today: I will be. I will allow myself to be cared for. I savor the caring by those with whom I share my self. I will accept the motive of caring.



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((((((((((((((((((((((( Miss C )))))))))))))))))))))) I like those.

I hope you have a great session....and you let yourself be cared for!

((((((((((((( Miss Charlotte )))))))))))))))))
I hope that you have a great session, it was very nice of your T to call and check on you.

Miss, your affirmations are wonderful, something for me to remember before sessions, too. Thanks for sharing your process.

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MissCharlotte said:
My affirmations today: I will be. I will allow myself to be cared for. I savor the caring by those with whom I share my self. I will accept the motive of caring.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">That's wonderful, Miss. I hope you will do all of those things today in your session. And beyond. I need to remember those things for myself too.

This is so wonderful to read, MissC When they just call us it is so warm and caring.

I love that he called you to let you know he was thinking of you and that he cared how you were!

That is so great! I'm glad for you

I can remember being hurt that T didn't check on me a few times. Especially after the sessions we talk about suicidal feelings.

I made a decision to stop talking about those feelings because they "can't" be handled in the right way.

Hey thanks guys.

It was a wonderful, engaged, feisty, session!!!

He let me know that he heard me; that he read the letter I sent him last week. But he did it by being consistent in his redirection of the conversation--and not letting me hide in the moment. We talked a lot about cutting, and he asked me if I wanted to stop. At first I said no, but then I said yes, when he pushed me. Our conversation got pretty intense. He said that my H had no idea what I needed. It felt so validating because I really regretted that couples session from a few weeks ago...now I'm already thinking of dragging him back again.

So, I know you ask: "What does that have to do with those mooshy caring affirmations? Well, I'll tell you. I was able to engage in this conversation without getting mad at him. I saw his pushing as a way of caring about me, enough to help me talk through what I told him I wanted. I accepted his caring without turning it into an argument; without me getting mad at him. Well, we bickered a bit but with us, that's to be expected.

Sigh

I feel so cared for I am NEVER EVER EVER stopping therapy.

((((((((((((((((((((((( Miss C ))))))))))))))))))))))!!!!!!!!!!

I love bickering in therapy. It feels playful...but like you said, I also feel cared for when he's pushing me a little. Those are always fun, connecting sessions for me.

I'm so, so glad that you had such a great session and let yourself be cared for. I guess the affirmations worked!!