[pegasus]

Exactly what it says in the title of the post.

I have been with T 6 years and yes I can see I have made a lot of progress but I'm certainly not ready for that.

In my view, I am so damaged that I feel I need therapy for the rest of my life. I still have gaping psychological wounds that have not healed and probably never will. If you all knew what I had been through, I'm sure you would all agree with me.

I do have serious issues with abandonment, he said he wouldn't just suddenly say next week is our last session but he said he feels I have learnt everything now. What a load of bollocks!!!

[Christina86]

WOAH!

((((((((((((pegasus))))))))))))))

Is this the same T that led you along with the whole education/becoming a T thing?

I'm sorry. Wow. That's traumatic. What's his reasoning behind doing this now? Is he planning on leaving the "T business" sometime soon?

I'd be freaking out right now. I have abandonment issues too. Yucky.

Well, can you ask him what he thinks you've learnt? Maybe explaining to him that you're not ready to stop?

But if he's planning on terminating regardless of what you do/say (which would suck) ... then make sure he gives you a GREAT recommendation for another T. Just because he thinks you're finished with therapy doesn't mean you have to think that.

I'm sorry ((((((((((pegasus))))))))))) that sucks.

[pegasus]

It's different in the NHS Christina, my T is the very top of the tree - Principle Clinical Psychologist, there really is no better than him. He went in to a long speech about how far I've come etc... I then went in to a long speech about how much I need therapy. I don't think I'm going to win this arguement . my life seems to be falling apart at the moment.

[Christina86]

Boourns. That's horrible. Can he recommend another T who has the same job title? I'm so sorry. T's leaving like that ... sigh, really traumatic.

((((((((((((Pegasus))))))))))))))) I'm sorry. Nobody deserves to find out like that. Usually it's a client & therapist reached agreement to terminate.

[pegasus]

No, T isn't leaving, He just wants to get rid of me, I think. I don't know. Ugh!

[Christina86]

(((((((((((((((pegasus)))))))))))))) wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I'm kinda irritated and upset with your T myself.

[pegasus]

((((((((((( Christina ))))))))))))

[allthegirls6]

Pegs, did he actually say he didnt want to see you anymore, or was he saying youve came along way? Is it possible that its not termination

[sunrise]

Pegasus, if this is the same T who (mis)led you on a goose chase about earning your credentials, then something is rotten in Denmark! My guess is he realizes what a horrible thing he did to lead you on and wants to be rid of you so he doesn't have to face this every week. He probably feels guilty as hell and well he should.

IMO, a person's degrees and how close they are to the top of the achievement ladder means little as to how good a therapist they actually are. I think your guy, by his behavior, has shown he is not that good a therapist. I am sure there are better therapists out there who are less high up the ladder then he is. Don't be misled by a person's degrees, titles, and status among peers. Personally, I would have a hard time ever speaking to this guy again if he had lied to and misled me so much.

Also, you say this T says you have learned everything now. Learning everything is not the sum of what therapy is! There's more to therapy than that. You say you have gaping wounds. So you need to work through these with a caring therapist and do some healing, not some learning! Your T makes it sound like you are a pupil doing classwork with him rather than a patient/client who needs help with her mental health. Again, this just all sounds so rotten to me.

I know the termination is painful, but I hope you can find a therapist who has your best interests at heart, I really do. You deserve it! (((((Pegasus))))) (From recalling your previous posts, I think that frankly, I'd report this guy. I think he's been very unprofessional.)

[pegasus]

I have always said I need therapy until I'm 93, not sure why I chose that age. From time to time we discuss what to do next. He said that most people look forward to being discharged (terminated). He reassured me that he wouldn't discharge me next week but went into a long speech about how much I have grown and the time would be coming. He feels I have learnt everything. Well, that's rubbish because nobody knows everything and I still have major problems.

Therapy is my life, I will die without it. If he discharges me I won't be able to get back into the NHS because he runs the whole show, and what he says goes!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

[allthegirls6]

Pegs, i know this is hard. In terms of the NHS, he cant stop your doctor referring you for T, its your docs decision not some Ts decision. If he is the T attached to your doctors practice you can ask to see someone else and they have to get you on a list. There is always provate. Im private and its not that much. I know there are difficulties around paying for private practice but it wont always be like that. Trust me, he cant stop you seeing an NHS T, its not in his gift to do that

[sunrise]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pegasus said:
Therapy is my life, I will die without it. If he discharges me I won't be able to get back into the NHS because he runs the whole show, and what he says goes!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">But he'd only be terminating your therapy with him, right? Not telling all other therapists they couldn't work with you. That would be exceedingly mean if he did that, and to what purpose? Is he thinking, "I have finished therapy with her so therefore no one else can do therapy with her"? What a selfish jerk. Whose interests is he serving here? He might be worried you have been so traumatized by his treatment of you that you would discuss this with another T and he would get in trouble and have his reputation tarnished. I know it hurts, and I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to be so out there on this, but from what you've written, it seems to me he is not concerned about your health or happiness. I'm sorry.

[pegasus]

Sunrise, the whole, I wanted to be a T thing was my fantasy. Not my T's fault that I dissociated so much and made an imaginary world. In previous posts I blamed T for not correcting my delusions. The truth is I made up that fantasy world. Imagined I had wings. Coming down frm a delusion like that takes years... apparently!

My T has done a lot for me, I can't fault him really, it was up to me to realize what was real and what was made up. Like I said, I have a lot of problems.

[allthegirls6]

Pegs, it sorta reads like you are taking the blame for whats went wrong here. i dont think you imagined it all, is it possible that youR T has just got it dreadfully wrong and you are having suffer

[sunrise]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pegasus said:
Coming down frm a delusion like that takes years... apparently!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">If you need years to come down from this delusion, then why is he terminating you? Sounds like you have years of work to do to get over this? If he wants you to do the years of work with someone else, that is understandable because of the part he played in this. Kind of like conflict of interest. I wish you well!

[pegasus]

I don't know what to say, sorry.

[allthegirls6]

Peg, its just that he has a part to play in all of this. I hope he dopesnt terminate you and has the guts to work through whats happened. Maybe of you tackle it head on and get him to see what has happened, what the fall out has been for you and ask him to help you work through this mess. Termination is not the solution, its a knee jerk reaction from him

[pegasus]

No, sunrise, it really was all my fault. I grabbed hold of something really positive and went, right, I'm a clinical psychologist now! I then blamed T for being too positive. We used to have a great relationship, it's all gone horribly wrong.

[pegasus]

Bloody rollercoaster ride this is!

to be honest peg.. feeling therapy is your life and that you'd die without it shows me that at the very least you need to continue.. even if nothing else, you would need to work through that issue. If you feel you have work to do then this is sooooooooo wrong of him. Do you have to have a T with the same title? i mean, can't you just decide to have any T you want?

i am so sorry this is happening... this is like my worst nightmare

[vegani]

Pegasus, what a scary prospect! I hope that your T can see how much you still need therapy IMO if you think you need therapy, then you do). I don't know how the NHS works but, like others have said, even if he terminates, couldn't you still get someone else with comparable credentials? I know that still wouldn't replace someone you've trusted and poured your heart out to for 6 years though. I hope you're able to find peace and healing.

[(JD)]

(((Pegasus))) let's look at this from another view, ok?

Maybe, it's good that he's doing this? That he's at least saying you can "terminate" your ongoing "therapy" and then you can move into "mentor" and "supervisory" sessions? wink wink If he's over it all, then it would be great for him to say that you are no longer "in" therapy per se... follow me?



You can continue going for support as long as you need to, I think.

(((((((((((((((((( pegasus )))))))))))))))))))))

Man, you're really going through it with this T right now!

I know this is so cliche...but perhaps this will be one of those "when one door closes, another one opens" situations? Perhaps you will find a new T who will move you to a new level of healing?

Of course that's easy for me to say. The thought of being terminated before I'm ready makes my stomach flip flop. I'm so sorry you're having to worry about this.

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((((((((((pegasus)))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry I don't have anything to say other than I am thinking of you and am sorry you are going through this.

BB

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( pegasus ))))))))))))))))