[Lexicon78]

I was joking around on Sunday with my dad...we were all joking around and I said somethink jokingly that hurt my dad's gf. Now he wants me to fix everything between me and her. He said if I couldn't then I'd have to do my laundry somewhere else...and that I was pretty much not welcome there if I couldn't. He told me to call her today. I did, but she didn't answer the phone.

Now what do I do? I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I was just joking around. The last month or so I've been doing not so well....and this is really affecting me.

the issue? My father's choosing his gf over me. She has him wrapped around her little finger. I really want to SI over this, but I'm trying not to. I just don't know what to do anymore.

[bebop]

maybe you should try not to think that way. I know a lady that we were just talking about the same thing this afternoon. allow him to love again. it doesn't mean he doesn't love you too. a parents love is very different than a lover/companion love. there is always room to love.

[lisa39]

Does she have a reason to be hurt by what you said? An apology will go a long way, unless you really did mean what you said and you wanted to hurt her feelings. Even deeper than that, you hurt your father and unless you make the first move, you will be doing your laundry elsewhere.

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((lexicon))))))))))))

i know this has been so hard for you. but your daddy has the right to love again. you will never change in his eyes. you're his girl

his has the right to love again. think of it this way...how wonderful that he has those capabilities...love is a wonderful gift.

i hope you are feeling better soon,

kd

Hi Lex,

Been reading your posts and something just occured to me.

I may be waaaay off and I'll apologize up front just in case.

But, I see how you are actively grieving the loss of your mom, and struggling with the pain and realization of her death.

THEN on top of it you are dealing with some anger towards your dad's girlfriend AND the "potential" loss of your dad's love to her.

Maybe they are all connected.

Maybe you're angry at the gf, but not for the reasons you think. (And maybe you're also angry at your mom for dying--even if it wasn't her fault)

Maybe your anger at the gf is because she is still alive and here with your dad, and your mom isn't. And that's not fair.

I dunno. Just a lil' flower's thoughts.

Hope things get better soon.

Petunia

[Lexicon78]

I don't feel angry with her for being with my dad, I am realizing that I'm hurt by my dad....I don't know...maybe you're right.

I'm trying to write his gf a letter to make sure things get worked out better (I write better and clearer than I speak).

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((lexicon)))))))))))))) you're so brave. i'm sorry for the loss of your mother. keep us informed, ok?

kd

[Lexicon78]

Well, my dad's gf, Brenda, unplugs the phone at night. Well, since our little misunderstanding she hasn't unplugged the phone during the day at all. This means I cannot apologize over the phone, like my dad had wanted me to. So I guess I'll write that letter and send it to her.

I fear that I am no longer welcome at my dad's house. Where will I go for the holidays? This really depresses me. It looks like she's getting what she wants...my dad all to herself.

[surfrider]

my dear, it is vitally important that you stand back and get perspective. remember you react they way you do because that is your nature to react that way, when we come from an emotional place, reason goes out the window. of course things hurt us, people hurt us, but ultimately we are responsible for the way we choose to view or interprate the actions, and sometimes it just takes looking at the problem just a little differently. yes your fathers new gf may be a b%^Io, but you must be responsible for your own actions, as others have mentioned, your father is going through transition just like you and is trying to create something new in his life, i would find it hard to fathom that your dad does not love you and cherish you, maybe, just maybe perception is like looking through a koliadascope you just have to turn it ever so slightly to get a completely new picture. i do wish you all the best, i do so hope that i am not being too presumptuous in offering my opinion, but i am compelled to do so in the hope that it may help you. thank you