[brokenone]

I'm sorry if this touches a nerve for many. I am completely broken and sad. I was the other woman with a married man. I'm not looking for a lecture, as I'm currently questioning what made me have a relationship with a married man, what made me believe and feel I had a right to be with him when he wasn't happy with his marriage but didn't leave

I cannot believe how much this ending hurts, not only not having him in my life but the dreams I had for us. These dreams weren't all me, he encouragd and made the plans as well.

I've been through so much already in my life, I keep getting knocked down, I don't know if I can get up from this one.

I went to the doctor today, looking for something to numb me. He gave me sleeping pills and I've made an appointment with a therapist for next week. I have so many issues, I don't even know where to start with him.

How does this work, do I spill everything to him, do I let him ask me questions...obviously there's something wrong with me to partake in what I did.

[Artist]

Brokenone,
It is good you are going to see someone. Some here are very wounded by their mates cheating on them. I'm sure you have read some of their post. I for one can't and would never judge you and your actions. you are an adult and you made a choice. Did his wife find out? or was it more he chose to end things for other reasons? You and those woman who have been cheated on might be able to help each other. By talking about this.
by the way with a T he will explain how things work. You can tell him or her anything. They have herd it all and then some. be prepared it can be hard getting to the root of things.

[brokenone]

The affair went on for quite a while, started in mid-2003, she found out late 2003. We still talked, still spent time together. He and I stopped talking for a month or so, then started again, I don't think she knew we were still talking, although, I can't say whether she even cared at this point. He was supposed to move out August 1, 2005, I guess once reality hit, they decided to work it out or at least try.

Again, I'm not proud of this, and I can imagine the names or thoughts running through people's heads, but I believe him, I loved him with all my heart, more than I have anyone.

I certainly hope somehow we can all learn from this, both betrayed spouse and myself.

you say it can be hard?

pouring my heart out here, but I know the issues with me, and there's probably so many more I don't know about

briefly

adopted
lost my mother when I was 5
lost my father when I was 16
sexual molested by a brother
drank more than I should have(made some poor choices)
divorced a kind, loving, beautiful man who I didn't love(I still think that was right)...instead of even trying to work it out with him, didn't give him a chance
have huge resentment issues

hey, anybody want to help me figure out how many issues I have?

I still have a sense of humour though

always felt alone

[Junerain]

I, too, had a relationship with a married man..and myu feelings were REAL. We had plans, too, we loved each other too. I cannot imagine why i did it either. We would go out late at night, and talk about how much we both loved his children. It was romantic. i miss him. I had no way to grieve the break up because how can you greive when he was never really yours? It helped me to read that you felt the same things I did, at least I think. And now let me list my other issues:

fired from sixty-one jobs
never had regular relationship
miss his kids
was once successful now im not
family not supportive
family out of town
grew up rich, now am poor

[brokenone]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Junerain said:
I, too, had a relationship with a married man..and myu feelings were REAL. We had plans, too, we loved each other too. I cannot imagine why i did it either. We would go out late at night, and talk about how much we both loved his children. It was romantic. i miss him. I had no way to grieve the break up because how can you greive when he was never really yours? It helped me to read that you felt the same things I did, at least I think. And now let me list my other issues:

fired from sixty-one jobs
never had regular relationship
miss his kids
was once successful now im not
family not supportive
family out of town
grew up rich, now am poor

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I'm sorry for you loss, I understand.



are you on meds or coping on your own?

I hate being poor!

[bebop]

I don't think there has to be anything "wrong" with you just because you got into a relationship with a married man..they are the best talkers. can make you think the moon is really made of cheese. I think sometimes our self esteem gets low and we really really want/need for that "someone special" to come into our lives and maybe at that lowest point we are willing to have whoever shows us that kind of attention and talks the talk..You will get thru this!! we are all here for you.

[seeker1950]

Yes, I correspond regularly, sev. times a day!, with a married man, an old high school sweetheart. He's in Boston, Harvard grad, a lawyer and judge, and I sent him a very "downer" letter last week telling him I realized I couldn't think of him romantically. He responded, very upset and distraught. I know he would never leave his wife and the estate they've inherited...worth millions in Boston!
Brokenone...Please don't be too hard on yourself for falling in love with a married man. Your feelings are genuine. I know your pain is immeasurable, but please don't beat yourself up! I know your heart is sincere.
Seeker

[pimprenelle]

I know how you must feel. I won't go into any more details. Sometimes it just hurts so much, you wonder why you are still alive. You will survive this one even if you don't believe it now. As a wife I would hate you. That's normal. As a human being I feel with you. Just care about yourself right now. Don't worry about anything else. It is not about morality, it is about respect and love. His wife and you have been wronged. He doesn't deserve any of you. Good luck !

[Fuzzybear]

I have learnt to my cost that it often seems that the best "talkers"... even just friends..... are the least sincere.

Give me a fellow growler any day!!!!!

[pimprenelle]

How I agree with that one. That's why I developed a sympathy for bad talkers, people who are so bad at lying they wouldn't convince a child. I couldn't stand this blah blah about the moon, with the dreamy eyes, completely absorbed in self contemplation. Coz these people are in love with themselves, not with you. They are just fishing for compliments, they are weak. That can be as true for "friends" as for lovers.
I just asked my childhood to go and check if there were trees in the desert. I was just there to validate her actions. I was her audience and she could be a big sweet talker when she had something in mind. It was embarrassing.

(((((((brokenone))))))))
I'm not gonna lecture. Just gonna hug you because you're hurting.