I don't know if I am in the right forum with this or not so please feel free to direct this to another forum if you need too.

This is the third time I'm writting this and I don't know, when I will be finished, if I will hit the continue bottom or not.

I feel very confused, trapped, I hate myself and I need your help.

Where I stand right now, I must start to say to my husband what I want and don't want, what I want to do and not do, where I want to go and not go, what I need and not need, what I believe in and don't, in a few words, I need to stand my ground.

But I have a big problem doing this. It's as if I need someone to give me permission to do this. I need someone to tell me that I will not be doing anything wrong by doing this. I need someone to help me not feel guilty about all this. I need someone to tell me I have the right to defend myself.

I am an abusive situation and I need your help.

Thank you!

[nothemama8]

write him a letter with all you want him to know, then next paycheck get a bus ticket come here, leaving letter with him
Love
Angie

what a wonderful, wonderful post..............xoxoxo pat

[LMo]

Time0, you can do this. You NEED to do this. You owe it to yourself... it is time for Time0 to get her share. 2007 can be YOUR year.

[__zh]

we are SO proud of you for being able to post what you did...you're very brave and we know what a challenge it is so that makes it all the more WOW!! brava dear heart!! </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
It's as if I need someone to give me permission to do this.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> you have MUCH support on this site here </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I need someone to tell me that I will not be doing anything wrong by doing this.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> you are NOT doing anything wrong by doing this...if anything you are HONOURING yourself by listening to your needs first </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I need someone to help me not feel guilty about all this.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> don't feel guilty angel...you have nothing to feel guilt over....you seek safety from harm...there is no guilt in that.....that is basic survival and needs to be more of a human RIGHT </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I need someone to tell me I have the right to defend myself.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> you not only have the right to defend yourself you CAN!</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I am an abusive situation and I need your help.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> dear heart there used to be a poster on this site who worked as domestic abuse counselor....perhaps someone knows name as we are too forgetful at moment to recall who but she used to post very helpful things to ppl in situations similar to yours.

you CAN do this time0. we believe in you. you've shown us such a kind heart...open that kind heart to yourself and treat yourself with the kindness you've deserved all these years.....may 2007 bring you safety and peace.

you deserve all that you've been offered and more..............you know how i feel about this.........love you, pat

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Time0}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} You not only have our permission to start standing up for yourself, but our URGING! NO ONE deserves the treatment you get, much less YOU. There is nothing I would like to see more than for you to acknowledge the strength that you have within you! If you can withstand all the abuse that you have received, then you already have what it takes to STOP it! We are all behind you, Sweety! You CAN do this! Plan your direction, set your sights and move forward with never a glace backwards!

i am in complete agreement with nothemama and sept on this

Time0... it's time for you to take care of YOU! You need and are allowed to... just by the fact that you're a human being... to lead a life without abuse and fear. Now taste LIFE... for real! You're valuable and not to be put down or hurt by another person. To change and start thinking in a new way is sure not easy... but you can do it! You're already on the right track. Keep going! We're all here for you! I'm here for you! My dear friend... you're a strong and brave woman... with a big heart. You'll make it!

[Wants2Fly]

What they said.

(((((((((((((((Time0))))))))))))))

Please know I'm here for you. I wonder if you are confused because standing up for yourself, in this situation, is a bit foreign-- and that which we aren't used to can feel confusing-- but that doesn't mean it's the wrong thing to do......it's just different from what you are used to-- perhaps.....??

Anyway, My wish is for you to have much happiness as you are most deserving. I'm here anytime you may need someone-- just a PM away.

Time0--

mandy

[nothemama8]

time0, my home is open to you

[Chris05161967]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
time0 said:
I don't know if I am in the right forum with this or not so please feel free to direct this to another forum if you need too.

This is the third time I'm writting this and I don't know, when I will be finished, if I will hit the continue bottom or not.

I feel very confused, trapped, I hate myself and I need your help.

Where I stand right now, I must start to say to my husband what I want and don't want, what I want to do and not do, where I want to go and not go, what I need and not need, what I believe in and don't, in a few words, I need to stand my ground.

But I have a big problem doing this. It's as if I need someone to give me permission to do this. I need someone to tell me that I will not be doing anything wrong by doing this. I need someone to help me not feel guilty about all this. I need someone to tell me I have the right to defend myself.

I am an abusive situation and I need your help.

Thank you!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I feeel like a heel asking this.......

How is he abusing you?(I know you are going to think 'What does it matter')

Christopher

Dear Angie, what did I do to deserve such kindness from you? I do not know. But then maybe this is the wrong question. I should say: “Do you believe Time0 that there is angels in disguised walking in this world? Yes I do believe there is because I know one by the name of Angie. You have touched my heart sweetie, more then you will ever know. I will keep your offer in my mind. Thank you so so much!

Pat, yes I know how you feel about this. I also know you care about me and this means a lot to me. Thank you for standing beside me. Thank you!


LMo, I knew you would understand. I also know you will support me whatever my decision because you respect me, that I’m sure off. Thank you sweet silent one.


Zh, your words means a lot to me. I know that you are sincere in everything you say. True words is what I need right now so that I can brake the invisible chain that is holding me to him. Thank you so much for your caring!


Tomi, you have known my situation for quite a while now and still you have the patience to reply to me about this one more time. For that, I thank you. Yes I really do thank you for caring!


Mellors, I am honored that you have replied to my post. I know that you are very honest and for that you have my admiration. Honesty is what I need right now because where I stand I can’t play game. Thank you for your support!


Nina, sweet Nina. Your gentle kindness always touches me so much. I know that you mean what you say. Thank you sweet friend!


Wants2Fly, thank you sweetie and welcome back!


Mandy, yes this will be different then what I use to do, very different. I know I can count on you. Thank you!

Christopher, how is he abusing me? In different ways every day. Some days are harder then others.
And for if I have think “What does it matter”, I have not thought of that at all. The only think I thought was that you care enough to reply to my post. Thank you!

Thank you dear special ones! Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

[jlove973]

First and formost take care of you and if you have Children make them a priority as well. If it's hard to do it for you do it for the Children. Believe me I know it's hard, but it is time for you to look deep inside and ask yourself the big question. Do I want to be in this same situation 10,20 or even 30 years from now? I can tell in your wrighting/post to us, that you are reaching out your hand seeking words of comfort and ya know what I am grabbing it as we all are. I see in you a strong loving person with a big heart reaching out for help. I'm glad that you are here with us. You can pm me if you would like.
I have been in a similar situation as you.
I took that step. Now I am alot happier with myself for doing it and I am able to be a better mom to my daughter.

jlove973, thank you for your words of encourament and support. I really appreciate it.

Thank you so much!

TimeO..you can do it...I remember a time when I was so very afraid, and so under his control that I never thought that I could be free...it has been a journey..but one that has brought me to be able to breathe the air around me that is not affected by him..I am just learning to be able to be who I want to be, even though I sometimes don't know who she is...but she is able and that is what is important...keeping thoughts of you close to my heart..

All your words are sinking in.

I'm going to do this slowly, gradually, carefully.

I have tried doing this in june 2005 and something so bad happened that is has left me with a trauma that I can't even talked about. PTSD keep dancing in my mind every day. I have to do this differently this time. Very differently and trust that time will help me out. I'm starting moving in this direction next friday.

I know that I am not saying things clearly and this is because I simply can't. I'm too used to keep things to myself. I just can't say more.

I'm going to read this thread very often as I will need each of your word to keep on going.

Thank you and thank you!
Much much love!

Climbingkit, thank you for your support and understanding.

"but one that has brought me to be able to breathe the air around me that is not affected by him.."

This is a wonderful thought. Thank you for sharing it.

Thank you!

time0, i remember 2005 and you won't go through that again. you've grown stronger and you have this huge network of friends here to help support your every move........love you, pat

[Wants2Fly]

TY for welcome back.

Are there any organizations you can turn to? Around here, there are organizations that take in women and their children, safe houses, etc.

Perhaps a church group? A socal service agency? United Way, for example, often has links to other organizations and agencies. Even a local sheriff's office may know how/where to contact an agency to help you make the break.

My heart goes out to you.

Thank you!

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Time0}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thank you!