Should I just cut everyone off? Stop talking and start over?

I don't feel like my friendship and relationship with others is really valued by anyone.

Not my family.

Not really my friends, except for one of them.

Not my past "girlfriend" who put me in the friendzone forever and still wants to be friends, but it still seems like I'm the one who talks to her and can't stop talking to her.

I just want to leave, not even say goodbye, and vanish.

I'm always online, always talking, and I feel like I'm the one who does most of the initiation.

I'm just done.

I want to move somewhere I like and life over. Anyone else feel this way?

Like you got stuck with a certain lot of people who don't give a crap about you, when maybe if you have grown up somewhere else, you might have ended up around better people?

These people don't value me. Maybe my energy could be invested better elsewhere. I'm in Arizona, btw, a state I can't stand. Maybe there are better places to live, with better people.

I've felt that a lot...recently and in the past. Found that most times you just end up with the same people. The only thing that changes is climate...which can be a good thing, sometimes.

I'm sorry you're feeling lonely. I'm in vegas, and I know that just cause there is a lot of sun, does not mean you're suddenly never depressed. In fact, endless days of it can be just as bad as endless days of rain. I always look forward to monsoon season, when there is at least a chance of rain.

Hang in there, kiddo

The question you ask, inherently is flawed. It assumes that every one of your friends, acquaintences or relatives is the same and all either hate you, are mean to you or something, for the same reasons or what not.

First off if that's the case, which I highly doubt, you have to figure out that the common denominator is you. For all the behaviors you feel you do not get reciprocity from, you have to ask if it's something that happens across the board, then what is the factor you can change? Most behaviors of people are tempered by reacting to soemthing the other person did. What i mean is, everyone has a different nature and set of behaviors and if all of these individuals are doing the same thing, perhaps it's in something you're doing that is causing the situation to happen?

If everyone ignores me, I have to ask " what am I doing that makes people want to do this?" becuase if it's a single person doing so, then I can assume it's their behavior issue, but if it's many people acting the same, likely it's me.

I'm not judging here, they are no better than you but you're not void of any responsibility either, and on top of that the only one you can change is you. The more you recognize how your behaviors affect others in a consistent way the more you'll learn how to cope, and change those things that are creating the undesired effect.

Yes, I have felt that way. Every 3-4 years it was like I would suddenly realize that most of my 'friendships' were driving me crazy. I would suddenly want to cut just about everyone off, stop spending time with them. I thought this was a signal that I was going through some sort of anti-social phase.

I've finally realized that I keep forming friendships with the same kind of people. I think s4ndm4n2006 is right that looking at your own behaviors is key to changing this situation. Are you cultivating relationships with users? Do you form friendships with people just because they are there and they talk to you (this was my problem!)?

There's nothing wrong with trying somewhere new, either. Where would you go instead?

I kinda feel the same way, but I wonder what I did wrong becaue that's the way I think. I have 3 people I call friends, but I don't know why. They never call or come see me, it's always me that calls or goes by to check on them. They always seem to be glad to hear from me but I don't feel valuable in their lives. Now we are all getting older and having health problems, which seems to me to be even more important to stay in touch, but I'm tired of being the only one who seems to care. I look at myself trying to figure out what happened but have just given up on having caring friends. Everything seems so superficial. So Texas isn't without it's friend problems either.

Hi Gaylegg,
I can relate to what you are saying. I live in S. Tx. also, and "friendship" is challenging as you say. Being ill and health problems certainly limits us.
You can PM me anytime. I would enjoy the company, and conversation.

Jade

Yes get the old people out if they are negatives in your life and before finding new friends make sure you are loving yourself first. Yes it is a lonely process but it builds so much for yourself like confidence, self esteem, boundaries, positive, understanding of healthy relationships etc. You will transition as you love yourself more.

I can very much relate.... exept I did it. I cut off... I didn't talk to classmates, drinking-budies, ex-es and so on.... didn't talk with no one who didn't dare to call me up.
two people called in that time... and one is my best friend and the other is my partner now... (other than parents and brother who I was close with)
but this isn't a help at all. I ended up regretting it, because building up a new social-web is.... looks like close to impossible. I realized I need some people who are just buddies.... nothing serious about the relationship and have no pressure on it and it was nicer to be surrounded by different people and not always had to deal with serious talks... I miss reasonless chit-chat and such.... I'm kind of isolated right now and I don't know how it'll change if I move out... I'll just as alone as right now.

i have lived situations like these in the past and it was hard and painfull to cut off...
I had a group of 5 good friends
actually, my best friend cut off with me after 10 years of a good friendship...
but we were in the same group and the others had to choose because she didn 't even want to see me ...
That was the first dark period of my life...i was chasing her crying for an answer...we grew up together...but she just hated me...
After a lot of effort trying to stay in the group ...i did psychotherapy ( not only for that)...she insisted on cutting off ...and that you have the right to do it if you feel you are in a toxic environment and that s how the change comes...you learn more about yourself ...and what you enjoy in friendships.
I was social and happy at that time and made new social webs...and even that "dark friend" to me was a lesson...
But life goes on ...people change and even good friendships change even for practical reasons...
So i learned to live with that, go with the flow even though it is hard ...and lonely ...
But ,still can t figure out things about what i could do better ...especially with female friends....or how to "translate" sudden cut offs...

Friends and relatives are tough. Folks are so busy these days. People don't even answer their emails. Hard to message. Hard to get together and yet everyone seems to have the same complaints .

Your post could have written by ME. I often wonder if I was born somewhere else, or raised somewhere else (like another COUNTRY) if my life would have been better. I know that's a BIG "if", but still.....

I've posted about the subject of so-called "friends" in some other threads. Except for one person (who unfortunately is now thousands of miles from me, due to job loss), I feel I have no friends. My other "friend" keep telling me she's too "busy" for me. I no longer intend to try to initiate communication with her anymore.

If I ever hear from her, I don't know if I'll pick up. Let the machine get it, and see what her "excuse" is that she has all this time and energy for who knows what, but she can't find 10 minutes in one bloody month to talk to me. We are both getting older, and that's even more of a reason to stay in touch. Also, I live alone.

Also, I've had to join two senior organizations so I can get SOME help or support, even in only practical things. It's better than nothing. I'm hoping to make a new friend. Even just one will do wonders.

I started in a support group that meets weekly too. I've only gone twice, but I intend to finish it and see how it goes. People who have support networks in their life don't need to do all this. It's painful and exhausting. I'm always running around like a chicken with no head, looking to connect with a kindred spirit. I feel the world is a harsh place, and I had an epiphany (sp?) that support is as important as food, shelter, etc.

My family is emotionally distant and nobody calls ME. I hate having to do all the initiating.

I've blown off people in the past. I used to talk to some former co-workers who said "Let's keep in touch." Thing is, I had to always call them. I got fed up, and I stopped calling. Lo and behold, they never called me in spite of that. Good riddance, as I never missed them.

I often feel people are so shallow. It reminds me of the lyrics from a song I like, "Games People Play."------"Never meaning what they say, and never saying what they mean."

I feel this way a lot. I just kind of force myself to keep on going. For instance my so decided he doesn't care if he caused me so much stress it affected my heart and lungs. He just wants to hurt me. To cope I just block it out. If you do move, I think, problems may follow from where you are. That's why I haven't. Though I can't exactly say I'm a pro at dealing with emotions anymore. I used to be a fortress with strong walls and now I'm a pile of loose sticks haha. Anyway I think it might help if you found a new hobby. For me it might be investigating war hammer 40k. I got curious about it. Find something you haven't experienced before (something small to start) and experience it! You'll bond with others who share the hobby or interest as you cross paths!