Non Speaking Husband

I married him at 23. There is no other part of the story to tell. If I had more I would tell you or I could figure it out. I don't have anymore. This problem he put me in is draining and embarrassing.

If he offers you money for tuition, take it. It's totally approriate for a married person to pay for a spouse's education.

[QUOTE=Seeyalater;4389593]
What specific issues do you currently struggle with in your marriage? Things were bad and now are good but something must still be off? Or you wouldn't be posting. What is it?

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Got it. I will IF he offers.

Thanks

[QUOTE=divine1966;4389872]
He says he is still healing from what I have done to him. He goes off to the the lake almost every weekend to clear his mind.
He says I didn't protect him from anything. Instead I let him get attacked at work and didn't make home life easy for him.
No tuition this year. Yet. Maybe this month.
He's stubborn and is still holding a grudge against me.

Assist me on these issues.

You only 4 weeks left of school so no need for tuition. Take a loan. Not a big deal. I wouldn't tolerate my husband gone every weekend from home. Taking breaks is ok but this is beyond taking breaks. I am very forgiving but I wouldn't stick around. Not the kind of relationship I personally am ok with. My daughter is 27, married for a year. I would advice Her to leave and she wouldn't stick around such nonsense, absolutely not. I believe you need therapy to address low self esteem issue. I don't know how else to assist you.

My parents will pay it. This has been his 6th weekend gone. He said he was going to the lake so we'll see when he gets home today what his plan is.
Hes so darn stubborn and holds grudges. That's the problem!!

[QUOTE=Seeyalater;4390032]Seeyalater, whenever someone posts something that tells you what you need to see, you don't respond.

Your husband keeps blaming YOU for anything that is unpleasant in his life.
Do you want to live that way for the rest of your life? If it rains and he can't go out in his boat, get ready because THAT IS GOING TO BE YOUR FAULT TOO. Wow, that is a horrible way to live one's life. He wont even go see a therapist FOR HIMSELF, and guess what THAT IS YOUR FAULT TOO.

You again are talking about him being stubborn. He isn't stubborn. He does what he wants, What do you say when he leaves the house for the weekend? Are you ok with it? He checked out from this marriage and either has an affair or will. He can't care less. He has no grudges and isn't stubborn he is just a bad husband and you are in a bad marriage. And he wants out and sends you clear message about it.

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[QUOTE=Open Eyes;4390326][QUOTE=Seeyalater;4390032]


Seeyalater, whenever someone posts something that tells you what you need to see, you don't respond QUOTE]

Yup. Not replying about therapy that several suggested and not addressing self-esteem issues.

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I think he's hoping you will support him when you finish school.

Wouldn't he try to be nice last month of her schooling? He wouldn't be gone every weekend. Does he really believe that any woman would support him after nonsense he pulls?

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[QUOTE=Open Eyes;4390326]Yes he blames me for everything and will probably continue to do so. I've tried to get him to see a therapist but refuses. I've been to one session and will be attending more.

[QUOTE=divine1966;4390391][QUOTE=Open Eyes;4390326]I have stated that I have attended one session and will be going back for session two. He refuses to attend.

True. He should know that Im done May 8th minus my exit exam. School will be officially over!! It would be interesting to see if that is what he wants. He would have to give up the new company truck.
Remember he gets a new company truck and a raise of he passes the audit.

That would be interesting to see if he quits his job. Looking back that's the most happiest he's ever been. It's not reality though. No one can make it in life not working. Unless someone hands you something on a silver platter.

Like someone said. Wouldn't he at least cancel one of his trips? He goes with his dad or uncle, you would think they would say something to him. They don't.

Im very curious to see what he wants and does.

Honestly I would file for divorce BEFORE your graduation & definitely before you get a job because if you don't & he does quit his job then you will be paying him alimony from YOUR INCOME you get from your job after graduation.....is that what you really want.

Ah, maybe that's what you are sticking around for?

I remember one of the last comments that my H made to me before I finally kicked him out of my life.....he said that he thought that "I WOULD TOLERATE HIM FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES"....maybe your H thinks that of you especially if he thinks that you will be supporting him.....& no, they don't have to be nice when they think that.....they are married & don't think you really will go anywhere & they can have the best of all worlds....going away every weekend to the lake & leaving you to deal with it.....

YOU ARE ALWAYS being the one to DEAL with it & in reality...he's not dealing with anything.

Get out while you are FREE & while there is nothing they can take away from you in the divorce.....foolish to stick around to see what he does????? What in the world are you thinking????

[QUOTE=Seeyalater;4390510][QUOTE=divine1966;4390391]
Don't worry about him worry about your own needs

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He can't get alimony. They have been married only 2 years. He also paid for her schooling and pays bills not like she supported him.

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That's for him to figure out on his own. I think you need to seriously consider filing for divorce.

I agree with eskie on this. Get away while you can. Giving this guy second chances is just going to drag out the nonsense even further. He thinks you will be submissive to his whichever whim. And that's exactly the kind of wife he wants. One he can blame for everything.

Yes one can make it if spouse support you. He has to pay mortgage though. I hope you won't pay mortgage! It is not ur house

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It's beyond me why young educated woman thinks so low of herself. I stayed in some bad relationships myself but this is even too bad for me.

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I'm trying. I'm traveling today and will be home late. He should be gone about 5pm. I'm hoping to do things for myself and have some relaxation time.