He broke up with me while I just broke my foot!

After two and a half years together. After staying with him with all his problems and issues. I broke my foot and he didn't even care.
All, he was telling me that I don't listen to him and he thinks that I think this way or that way. He said he wants to go dancing and find another woman.
He's 46 and I'm 42. He has two kids and I have none.
We talked about getting married and have kids together.
We had problems but I didn't even think he's this unkind to leave me at the time that I needed him the most.
How can I recover? Now, I have broken foot and broken heart!

Thanks
Marjan

What a bone head this guy is! I'm sorry you got left alone just for not being available as a dance partner, temporarily. Take care if your foot. I hope you have someone to go to the store for you. That's what he should be doing, if he was a decent guy.

A broken foot can heal. When it does, maybe you will find some new dance partners.

He wants to go dancing? He is telling that to you now knowing you broke your foot? What a jerk. You are better off without him and I am sorry about ur foot


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Yesterday I found out he took my home key too without my permission. I'm so pissed now. I changed my lock when I figured out before that he has a copy of my home key without me giving it to him.
Now, he did it again. I'm going to change my key again. Such a pain with this foot.

I was thinking he is the one. He was so deceiving, but all he wanted was taking advantage of me being alone. He wanted me to rent or buy a home with him! He's living with his mother now. An abusive crazy mother! And he has two kids.

I can't believe I put myself in such a position.

Sorry just get better and try to move on

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That sucks! It sounds like it's good to be rid of him, but what a crappy thing for him to do.

Maybe it's good you are seeing his true colors, so you don't get deeply involved in setting up a living arrangement with him that could become a disaster for you. He sounds like a user.

I hope your foot is getting a little better every day.

I agree with Rose. He's a user. What he did was very hurtful, but you should try to see this as a blessing. I know that's hard to imagine, but you're rid of him. You've invested some time and emotions with this man, and it does take time to recover from such a hurt. Please give yourself that time, and don't be sucked back in by him. Such men are great con artists and at being charming, even lovable. Don't think about that. Focus on yourself and your own needs. Be kind to yourself as you heal physically and emotionally.
(feel free to pm me any time)

But now very fortunate to be getting out!

I agree with all of the above: your foot will eventually heal, but he will always be an abusive, manipulating jerk!

Sounds like a lucky escape, but sorry it (and your foot) hurts so much.

I feel sorry for you and don't like him!!

The hardest part is that you need to realize you have wasted precious time on this man. There is no getting it back, so don't waste any more! Big hug and I hope your heart and foot heal soon.

Thanks everybody for kind comments.

I'm doing better, I have to deal with this broken foot and it takes all my attention.

Yesterday, a mutual friend texted me that she met him and he's sad! I didn't reply back. I don't need to know what this unkind man is doing. he's sad because he can't abuse me??? Do I need to know really?

I'm hurt and I have bad moments but I'm doing good in general.
I know for fact that I don't want him like that for sure. And I know there won't be any miracle that he changes!

My main sorrow and concern is "If I find a true love? If I find the man of my dream? Would I ever have a family of my own? How can I find that man?"

So sorry about your foot and what you're going through. Heal yourself and then kick him to the curb with whatever foot you choose...been there...but mine was torn tendons in my ankle...

You are using an uncommon amount of good sense. Not only are you wanting to end it with this guy, but you are realizing that who he is won't change. That takes willingness to face hard realities. Generally, people want to believe that there will be change. They want to believe that a person will change himself, or go for some counseling that will bring about the desired change.

Here is another tough reality that is worth considering. Life offers no promise that you will meet the person you hope for. Of course, being with Mr. Wrong guarantees you won't be availabe to meet Mr. Right. I understand anyone wanting love. It's what I wanted more than anything. But there are worse things in life than being alone. (I did find that out.) Being with a user who takes and takes can leave you more devastated than being on your own. It's a situation that just gets worse with the years.

I hope your foot doesn't need a lot longer to heal up. Then look for signs of good character in a man, before you get too involved. When it's not there, cut bait and move on. If you really want a good relationship, then you can't afford to waste time with bad ones.

I've seen more than a couple of threads where the O.P. says "I did't want to judge the person. I didn't want to be judgemental." Wrong thinking!! You do want to be very judgemental about the people you are considering getting very involved with.

Well said Rose. I think on some point I really believed in change but I gave him lots of time and nothing has changed. So, I lost the HOPE for the change in him.

These days I'm getting sad more often. I try to go out with friends and not stay alone at home but it's hard to stay focus and not think about him.
I know his type, he can't stay alone by himself, very soon (probably even now) he starts asking women for date. Knowing that it will take me longer to fine a right man is killing me. I remember once he told me he said if we break up it will be harder for me than himself!

I hate the self pity, but I can't help it!

Tonight, it's a birthday of a mutual friend and he's going. I said I'll go, but I don't want to go and see him there! Besides, I feel this girl is more his friend than mine. So all these changes in friendships and life style and changes on the day to day life are the ones that bothering me. I have to adjust myself.

I think I don't miss him being mean and unkind and selfish to me but I miss the fact that I was a couple with him and I was hopeful to be together and love each other for rest of our lives.

I think I need to surround myself with more intelligent and smart people. I need more of intellectual types of conversations.

The group that today I'm going out are not really fulfilling my inner desire of friendship. Not sure how to explain it really. I think they are just people that I won't make deep relationship with them. Is this normal really?

I feel with breaking up with him, I lose two and a half of friendship with other people too. It's like two and a half of my life is gone!

You might be doing yourself a favor to skip the birthday party this evening. It's going to take you a while to get over the grief of this loss. You had hopes that have been dashed. He wasn't the right guy to invest your hope in, but you didn't want to face that . . . until there was no avoiding it.

The mutual friends you shared with him may well be more his friends than yours. You need to travel in different circles. I believe you may not have really had that much in common with the kind of people he fits in with. Now you are free to find those who share your values. For now, you are lonely not just for him, but for the social circle that came with him. Don't look just for a boyfriend, but for friends. If you are a good dancer, you have a tremendous social asset. You need a girlfriend you can go out with to venues where there is dancing. Then be slow to parner off with anyone, until you know what the person's character is about.

The problem with dancing is that first I broke my foot and second it's very small community and he's a dancer too. He will be everywhere. I don't want to see him at all.

In that case, you may have to avoid social settings for a while. Heartaches do heal over time. Don't build this up in your mind to be the heartache that you can never recover from. No way is this guy worth that.

I know for sure that this guy is no worth of a minute of my time anymore. I gave him many chances....He barked on me and left me then he came back and said sorry, bought me flowers and I let him in to my life. He was good for a very short period of time and then starts all over again.

I couldn't ask for anything, he stayed at my home for free and brought his kids over and he fought with me over TV even or my own bed. He told me many times, when I will be out of home then he and his kids are more comfortable at my home!
He complained that he's not comfortable at my sofa and he doesn't have freedom at my home! I was thinking what the heck, get your own place. He said he will never get his own place to make my life easier. He's living with his old crazy mother now. (his mother is another story!)
He said he wants to rent or buy a home with me and then if I complain about anything (mostly cleaning) he will tell me "**** you, it's my home too!".

I can go on and on with all these things. They are many of them. I hide it from people. I didn't tell them. I don't know what I was thinking really.

Now, he found me in my weakest position and he knew he can leave me without being worry if I date somebody or find new friends. He knows that I'm stuck with this broken foot!

It's just terrible. I can't even go to gym. At this time, I need physical activities the most and I can't do anything.

No, I'm not planning to go to the birthday. It's in a restaurant, very nice restaurant and I make fool of myself to go with a heavy medical boot on my foot and crutches. I feel already that girl is more towards him not me.

bottom line, I still don't believe he's bad. I don't understand what happened to that sweet, kind man I started dating 2.5 years ago?

He was never a sweet, kind man. That was a fake front he put on. He didn't change. You just got to know him better. Basically, you wasted a lot of time on a guy who was never worth it. Maybe dancing with him felt good, if he was a good dancer.

You might think he has moved on to another relationship and is doing better than you. Sooner or later, he'll show his true colors to any woman and any relationship he's in will go sour. He only wants to use whoever he is with.

Thanks Rose for your comment. I think he's a confused man with lots of dilutions. I believe everybody has that goodness in them.

I didn't go to the restaurant for the birthday party. Instead I went out with a new group of people who don't know him and don't know even I had a boyfriend. Therefore, nobody was asking about him! Sweet. I had laugh and a good time.
While driving back home around 11:30pm I got a text from him saying "It would be nice seeing you." I did not reply back and have no plan to text him back!
Most likely he went to the birthday party and misses me because all those friends are couples!
I'm curious to know how he justifies his action of leaving me with a broken foot!

Right now while I'm focusing on my physical pain; I'm trying to figure out how I can make a best of this broken foot situation. I know things happens for a reason. Well the reason is obvious to know his true face!
However, this is my bad karma too and I got to do better job to collect more merit.

Love you all

You are doing a great job and you are such a strong person. There is something wrong with this guy. Sure if he wanted to break up fine, but the way he went about it is all wrong. Your foot will heal soon and so will your heart. But he will always be an a....hole. So your situation is way better than his no matter how you look at it. Take care of yourself

I wouldn't worry if he starts dating sooner than you. It means nothing. It's not going to make him better person whatsoever but you'll remain who you are

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