He broke up with me while I just broke my foot!

Thanks for reply. Today was a good day. My friends came to visit me . So nice and sweet of them. I went to my prayers and it was awesome. I'm really trying to not think too much of him and be strong to not let him back in my life. However, I can't deny admitting that I liked to receive the text from him last night knowing that he was thinking of me but then his text sounds like he just want to have sex with me at midnight! Argggg.....that really pisses me off! He really doesn't know I'm not that type of girl! He's really lost.
Also, I shall admit, despite of knowing his true face but still deep down in my heart I wish for the change. I know he won't change, he's like this. He might be good for few days to have me back and then go back to the same unkind selfish person.

It is normal what you are feeling. I left someone after almost 9 years ( his addiction). I moved on but remained friends and a year later I still have a vague hope he'll change, it's crazy. My t says it is ok to feel whatever I am feeling it is normal to miss people etc as long as we don't fall in to it again and go back. And I will not. He still makes promises but I already lost so many years on hoping he'll change.,,

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The nerve of this guy! Sounds like he was horney.

I don't think he is confused. He's selfish and uncaring. He had you confused.

What has been the treatment for your foot?

Sorry to hear that. 9 years is a long time. Your ex had addiction and mine is addicted to his crazy obsessive negative thoughts. I found myself not being able to fight against his negative thoughts! It was impossible.
I'm feeling down and sad today. Yes I miss those good days but I know they have gone.
In the morning I had very strange dream about him. He was dead and I was sobbing thinking he didn't live a comfortable life despite of me keep telling him!
I think I'm carrying the sad dream with me.
I know life is not fix. Nothing in this life is definite. Things are coming and going.
I'm hoping to meet somebody soon and forget all about him.
Or at least I make some good friends and spend more time with them. Tomorrow night I'm seeing my therapist. I can't wait for that.

Yes. It sounds like he just wanted to come and sleep with me. It makes me really angry thinking about it. He really doesn't know me at all.
He's not just confused, he's a loser and he keeps losing.
Still I do miss him too. I was thinking he is my man for rest of my life and it's hard to switch all my feelings instantly.
I feel scared to not fall in love again and be alone for rest my life.
I really don't want to give these negative thoughts energy.
Thanks for helping me.

It's totally understandible to me that you would miss someone with whom you have shared some satisfying experiences and pleasant memories. It's also true that people frequently make the decision to stay with a partner who is less than ideal. I guess it's up to each individual to decide how high to set the bar for what to expect in a relationship.

The things you've related about this guy make me feel you'ld be setting that bar awfully low, if you were to tolerate what he thinks is an okay way to treat someone. You'll eventually recover the function of your foot. But sooner or later, you are likely to encounter other health difficulties. Now you know how quickly he'ld run out on you, were you to have something come up that made you less "fun" to be with. Then the hurt of abandonment would start all over again. I, myself, wouldn't want to live in fear of that.

You are right and I know it too. That's why I resist to text him back. He texted me again tonight saying how much he misses even holding my hand!
He's done this with me before, the moment I see him and he gets his satisfaction from me then he's back to his mean unkind character.
I cried a lot today and I meditate, then I felt better. I made a new friend at the bookstore and I had a long conversation with her. It was really good.
I want him to be free from suffering and be happy too. He has so much to offer but he has so much delusions.
It feels like we are each other drugs, we are just addicted to one another!
And addiction is not good.
I do miss him terribly too but I know the whole thing. I've done it with him before, I've given him chances and he blew it away. This time I stay strong with my broken foot!
I need more friends, more activities, more positive thoughts.
I know if a man really want a woman, he will do anything to have that woman and make her happy.

Okay, well, the first red flag (to me) was when he sent you a message thru your friend saying he's "sad." Really manipulative, because he knows you're vulnerable. Now the texting. He's sucking you back in. You're having the longings and feelings he's wanting you to have. I hate to say this, but unless you cease all communication, i.e., block his texts and/or calls and avoid people who may give you his "messages," as in "he's sad," he'll soon have you back, if he doesn't already. You will also have to avoid going places and being with mutual friends. You will have to focus on how badly he treated you, and how hurt you were, rather than missing him.
It IS like an addiction. I know; been there, done that. Now, looking back, I consider myself SO lucky to have escaped being a doormat to a user.

Thanks for the reply. I don't go to the places that he goes and I don't talk to the people that are his friends. I know I can block him from my cell but I don't want to and that's just a choice.
He is that's what he is. He's selfish and self-centered. I know he will come back at my door. Also, I know if I let him into my life, he will be good for a very short period of time, but then he will fall back to what he really is.
He's a mess. He needs help but he doesn't get the help. I don't want to be part of that mess anymore.
I'm having a plan for myself to make lots of friends and make myself busy.
It's interesting, with my broken foot, I get lots of attention. People talk to me and ask me how it happens and I have nice chat and conversation with them. Most interesting point is that lots of people have gone through the same kind of pain and broken bone and they sympathize with me.
Yes, I do miss him but thinking what he did last time, It's not good. I will stay strong with my decision.
He's done this many times with me and he is doing it again. He just wants to come to my home and sleep with me. I hate even thinking about it.
I pray to find a friend who will be my companionship soon. I'm trying to change my perspective of life and my view of seeing people.
This is a turning point in my life.

Good for you!

You are doing a great job!
I have to say that I don't even understand why is he texting you when he was the one breaking up with you!!!

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Hang in there, marjan!

He texted me again last night saying that he loves me but I don't try to understand his perspective! Then he says he's giving up and he will leave me in peace!

Again, No answer from me!

I had a good session with my therapist. She told me I got to get rid of my fears of loneliness; she said these are all in your head and then you let the people to learn about it and use it against you.

I feel I'm stepping in a self realization journey! Meditation helps a lot. Also, reading.

I might just email him and give him some peace and conclusion, but then my friend told me the moment I email him, he will see it as a window and he will jump right into it!

Last night was exactly two weeks of break up. And, yes, he's the one who is leaving me then he's the one who wants me back!

I know I'm not an ugly woman. I know I get attention from guys. There is another guy last night asked me out. He's a friend. He's handsome and young, probably even younger than me. However, I know I'm not ready. I just want to keep him as a friend. So, I didn't go out with him last night.

I know I should give a chance to guys. It's been just two weeks.

Your friend is right. Don't email him. Nevermind "giving him peace." Finding his peace is his problem. Your job is to find your own peace. Do you really think life holds much peace for a man who is selfish and abandons a friend the way he did you? He will reap what he sows. Life will not reward you, if you waste your time with a man like that. We are supposed to be concerned for others, but we are not supposed to let ourselves be used by selfish people. That is not being good-hearted. That is being stupid.

Two weeks is not very long. You have quite a way to go to free yourself of this guy and to proceed with your life in a wiser way.

I didn't email him. I texted him but nothing fancy. I reminded him that he left me with a broken bone and he said he's going to find another woman that night in the club. I asked him if this is the love that he's maintaining in his text?
I got messed up again last night, I called that mutual friend and surprisingly I found myself getting upset and angry and frustrated by her trying to tell me what Richard told her. Trying to put blame all on my shoulder and telling me that I'm not honest with her! How dare she knows what happened to me? I told her she's judging me and she's on his side. She was not there and she agreed with him. They don't get it, he's a trail lower, he's in court every single day. He put guys in the prison! I don't!
I get frustrated and angry and I can't defend myself.
Then the conclusion talking to her after an hour was that she sits with me and Richard for the last time and we say good bye to each other and end the relationship in a peaceful manner.
Then I found myself not being able to sleep at night. I thought I don't want her to be involved and I don't need to see him to say good bye! It just creates more pain and suffering. I texted her in the morning that I changed my mind and thank you very much, I don't need to see him with her! She was telling me how sad he is and he can't work and he thinks about me all the time and he's telling her how much he loves me! All BS! I told her I'm not sad. I can sleep and I don't think about him that often!
I feel strong again.
I was thinking to text him and tell him to stop all these none-sense but now I think it's useless. I just want to move on with my life.
I had enough of this guy and his unbalanced emotions. I want to focus on my own life and meet people and be positive and hopeful to find that special person in my life.
I know pretty soon I will make my own family.

Thanks for all your support....
With Love
Marjan

Marjan: You have value and worth as a person and he does not believe this. You can act "as if" you value and cherish yourself and will not tolerate the way he treats you. He sounds very young, inexperienced and unevolved as a person, not to mention as a man. You really do deserve better and if he gets this, there may be hope, but don't allow this in your life otherwise.

Good job not seeing him!

Your friend overstepped, she should not be involving herself in any way.

Hang in there, marjan!

(((((marjan)))))

Technically, she's his friend. I know her through him. She claims that she's my friend, but in occasions, I see that she's more towards him. Talking to her last night, I found out she keeps telling me "Marjan, you are not honest with me." and she was judging me not knowing anything about me. Then I thought, she doesn't even say that "Oh, he left you like this? and he said he's going to find another woman in the club?". Actually, he even admitted to her that he said all those to me! But I didn't hear from her saying anything negative about his action. It was like more he was an innocent person and I was a bad one!

I finally blocked her from my phone.

Stay strong!

I feel so dumb for missing him or having that little hope he will come back and everything will be different. So stupid of me.

I feel so sad and terrible. It feels I lost something or a dead of a love ones. Uncertain future. All the bad things.
Then I meditate and I feel fine for a second.
I tried to call him to end it, but it didn't go through. Probably that's the sign to not call. Probably, I'm still hopeful!

Calling him will not make it more over than it already is. Calling him is about you wanting to talk with him, nursing that fragile hope that he will tell you he is so sorry and wants another chance. A part of you is still wishing for that.

You've already given him enough chances. How he acted after you injured your foot is not the first time you've seen his selfish, uncaring side.

I'm glad the call did not go through, calling him is opening yourself up to even more hurt. Which would be akin to looking for punishment.


Please don't do that to yourself, you deserve better.


Grieve the ending of this relationship as you must, as is perfectly normal with any ending, good or bad. But please don't fool yourself into thinking that being with him is better than being without.


You're better off without him, its just hard to see it through the grieving process.


I grieved a terrible abusive ex for some months, and yes, like you hoped he would change, even toyed with giving him another chance. I'm so glad that I had the good sense to remind myself that my daughter deserves better than watching her mom get beat up, or I wouldn't be with my awesome bf today, and my child would be traumatized.


You can get past this stage, just keep reminding yourself why its better that he's out of the picture.

I agree with Rose and Trippin. Stay strong!