I'm starting to hate women

First off, hi. I'm new to the forum and hoped that discussion of some of my issues might help me find some resolution.

To start with that I wanted to talk about a feeling thats been growing in me for some time, and that is my constant and repeated disapointment and disgust at the behaviour of the women in my life.

I keep telling myself that one person cannot represent an entire gender and move on, but the next woman I meet acts the same, and the next, and the next. I'm 33 years old and I can't think of a single woman who's been in my life who hasn't been utterly selfcentered, exploitative, cruel, deceitful, cowardly and hypocritical.

I'm not just talking about romantic interests here, but friends, co-workers, woman in positions of authority, etc.

Despite by best intentions to put these thoughts aside, I'm starting to feel like I'm living in denial of the facts - that by their very nature women are immoral and evil.

In my past 2 relationships I was deceived and cheated on so I'm 0 for 2. Both were jealous, controlling and yes cheaters. I do believe there are good women out there but at the same time the stats don't lie. More and more people are having online affairs these days and it's hard to catch it with smart phones being computers on the go. Funny thing is that women say men cheat but I have never cheated once. Hang in there

By nature, women aren't any more immoral and evil than men. Maybe you can meet better quality women by getting involved with your religious organization. I'm sorry you've had a series of bad apples. Personally, I've had a mixture of knowing moral and immoral people. There are good people out there.

+1 on this. I could go on and on about the same of men, but I won't, because not only is this not true, it also serves little purpose other than to tug me further into the pain and resentment I feel.

Please don't view all of us as evil and vile because of a few bad experiences. We are just the same as you men. Please take care.

This is a sweeping generalization. May be because you expect them to behave certain way, you face constant disappointments?

I read Trump's history where he talks about women and being challenged that way. It was interesting to see it from "his" perspective. He talked about how challenging it was because he felt women had the upper hand and that men were the weaker when it came to sexual attraction. He talked about how women threw themselves at him and he talked about how he was giving a ride to a woman who was getting married to one of his wealthy friends who caught him off guard and began throwing herself at him and when he brought up the fact that she was about to marry his friend she replied that she did not care and did not really "love" his friend. He talked about experiencing that a lot and that this was something happening even in some very high societal circles. He talked about the seriousness of making a commitment and not really knowing if the woman was really committed or just looking for a gain that would become not only a surprise down the road, but become very expensive.

Since women have gained a lot of freedoms and themselves began to experience their own wealth and independence, they have been experiencing the same challenge.

My daughter who is your age has not found Mr. right and explained to me that because she is independent and does well, she comes across guys that want her to take care of "them" and yet others that are intimidated by her independence. Some of her friends are the bread winners in their marriages and they are challenged in their relationships because of this phenomenon. So, the challenge does happen to both men and women in trying to find the right partner that doesn't have the negative baggage. Also with the rise in women in the work place in today's world, there are a lot temptations and has led to a lot of broken marriages. The divorce rate is rather high in today's society. Our society has become more and more encouraged to open up and explore sexually and more and more narcissistic.

So it not just "you" that is challenged, this is taking place in both men and women too.
It's hard to find a true partner/soulmate now and longevity. It does take patience and time to find the right person to build a healthy relationship with. Your generation has experienced seeing their parents go through divorce at a much higher rate so your generation has a harder time believing in true longevity because they don't see it taking place as much. I noticed this with so many of my daughter's peirs. And unfortunately so many witness the pain and anger that took place when seeing their parents divorce too, and anytime that has happened, without even realizing it the brain on a very deep/subconscious level desires to avoid that kind of pain.

To globalize any group of people based on anything is folly. Would it be fair to say such things about all men? Are all men like you, (whatever traits you might have, good or bad)? NO. To think so simplistically about women and write them off is just inaccurate and unfair not only to the women that do not fit the description but to yourself as you'd be missing out on finding a good woman in your life by writing them off like that.

Train yourself to base things on your experience and realize that in context YOUR experience is not the whole. In other words it's ok to say that all women you have known or met so far have been a certain way but keep the reality that there is no way you can know how every single woman on earth is, and be determined to find different. If you convince yourself and know in your mind they are out there, you will eventually find them

Luckily for OP, there's an easy fix to his feelings.

Simply cut off all but the most superficial interactions with women in his life.

Problem solved. My work here is done.

What about your mother? I'm a girl and I hate women, I always thought that kind of blanket hatred could only arise in someone that has an abusive mother. To be honest, I don't actually hate women, but it is harder for me to trust them... I have come to realize it is my issue though.

I would say maybe try therapy on this issue. Could be that you are unconsciously sabotaging yourself by picking the wrong women. For what it is worth, research suggests the brains of men and women are impossible to distinguish by MRI. That is to say, although men have pee pees and women don't, the biology and brain function is strikingly similar. Of course, women are socialized to be women, and men to be men.

I think part of what I hate about women too is the parts that (I feel) are socialized in that aren't actually useful things. For example, men are socialized to be independent, to be providers, but girls are almost socialized in the opposite way. As a girl growing up I was very athletic and stubborn, and I would be punished in a sense for things that were good, because they weren't "feminine." I think that all these centuries of keeping women as slaves basically has taken it's toll on society. Just think, not 100 years ago women couldn't vote or own land! We are literally only one or two generations into having actual jobs... it's a real mess. As a girl the thing I cant stand the most is all the women who pretend to be weak just to manipulate men into doing things for them. This was my mother. The fact is we are not that weak. I know how to use the remote and plug in the DVR, I can change a tire, and replace a light bulb.

Thanks for the replys.

Again I want to state that I am not just talking about romantic relationships, or even just friendships with women.

The other night I was helping with packing a container with supplies bound for Syria to help the situation over their. It contained donations of food, medicine and clothes - that sort of thing. Despite hiring a big container that could contain 16 pallets of goods, there wasn't enough space for everything that was collected. I was the only male on site with the exception of the driver, the warehouse manager, and the forklift driver - the three of which were not really a part of the effort to create this care package.

Because there was not enough space for all the supplies, a discussion on what items should be a priority started. In the end, despite my objections, this is the decision that was made by the women I was working with.

Food > Womens Clothes > Childrens Clothes > Medical Supplies > Childrens Toys > Mens Clothes.

This decision was made despite the fact that for every three boxes of womens clothes there was only one box for men. There was no reason given for this decision except that "they would find somewhere else to send the mens clothes".

There are no plans for a second container that I know of.

At the end of the night when the truck was loaded, one of the women wrote a large sign and tied it to the back of the load inside the crate. It read: "From the Women of England, with love".

The money for this endevor was raised by a Muslim man. The donations were given by all sorts. The colections were taken by volunteers of both genders. Why that sign was written or why mens clothes were removed was simply because the final steps of the process were overseen by women.

To solve any problem the first thing you have to do is examine it honestly. You're letting your pain overwhelm your better judgement. It's just not possible that you've never met a decent woman anywhere. But I understand that the bad experiences are standing out the most in your memory.

So get honest, and try and put away irrational resentment. It will get you nowhere. Think about getting some counseling. You need someone IRL to talk to about this. I recommend a female counselor.

For some reason, you're gravitating toward the wrong kind of women. Maybe you are letting the women pick you, instead of you picking them. At age 33, this is going to be tough to turn around. Start now. You can't change other people. You need to change you. Somehow you are getting in your own way. If you believe a bunch of untrue, negative stuff, then you will assume you have no power to change anything, and nothing will change. That's the lazy way out. Empower yourself with honest acknowledgement of basic truths. Such as: lots of men are in very happy relationships with good women who love them. Deep down, you know that is true.

I think the issue is your attraction to these types of women. Not that the all women are bad. It's like women who go for alcoholics would say that all men are alcoholics. Wrong logic. You focus on the wrong issue. I recommend working with a therapist

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In a disaster, "women and children first" - right? The priority list is correct.

Yes i know how you feel ,womens are like hell and hard you cand understand them

I know I'm gonna come off as "that guy" when I say this, but I feel like I'm seeing the trend of when a guy posts in this section and women respond to it... it's always the guy that's the problem or is at fault and needs to be fixed by a therapist.
Like we have to be "trained" mentality.

Sigh, could be just me though.

I don't think all men needs to be fixed or need therapy , certainly not. But if a man says he hates all women and they all evil then surely he'd benefit from therapy. If a woman posted that all men are evil and she hates them all, she'd benefit from exploring the issue/ seeing a therapist as well.

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I am a woman and I would have solved the problem by food, medical supplies, less of all the clothing sending men's, women's, and children's, and toys.

Those women did wrong in my opinion and had no right to say it was from 'the women'. How self-serving and narrow minded.

But that was just one incident. You must know some good women.

Zehmzaziel,

Thank you for the noble work that you do. Around 90% of my social interaction is with my wife and her mother, and the two of them are smarter than I am, stronger than I am, caring, unselfish, and talented and accomplished in technologies ranging from the remounting of 300-year old paintings to the sweating of copper pipe. My mother died ten years ago, but she was a badass too, a writer who lifted weights. You would (have) like(d) and respect(ed) all three. You've just been meeting and working with the wrong women. Warmest regards.

Where do you meet said women, and what do you do for work?

I have friends of both genders.

Hi. Sorry for not replying. It seems to take a long time for my posts to be validated and appear, which makes keeping up on here difficult.

So something that's bothering me at the moment is a girl that I met last autumn. We hit it off, but only saw each other af few times before she left the country on a trip to India that was supposed to last around a year. I put her out of mind and went on with my life.

Some time in January, I got a message from her asking how things were going. I asked how it was in India. She told me that the whole trip hadn't really worked out and that she had come home early and whether I wanted to meet up. I was kind of surprised and flattered that she'd called. Turned out she'd only been in the country for a day and I was one of the first people she had contacted, which was a nice feeling.

Anyway, we met up, had a few laughs, and started to become friends. We kept on seeing each other over the next few months and there was a bit of sexual tension between us. One day she came over and while watching a film she started to cuddle up to me. Nothing more than that happened though. A few days later she invited me over to hers. I was feeling kind of beat though and told her that I'd come by some other time. She seemed really dissapointed and told me that she was looking forward to "male physical company". That peaked my interest so I went over to hers.

Same thing as before happened that night and she started to cuddle up to me. At some point I told her I wanted to kiss her. She was a bit resistant to the idea, but she did kiss me for a whole five seconds before telling me that she couldn't. I smoke and she couldn't stand the taste or smell of cigarettes. It all felt a bit anti-climatic and disapointing and I went home that night thinking about things. In the end I decided, if that was what was in the way of things progressing, then it was an easy fix. So I quit smoking.

We meet up sometime later and we have a talk about things. She tells me that she doesn't want a relationship with anyone, that she's lost her sex drive from taking anti-depressants, etc. She goes on like this and as we talk the real reasons start to slip out. She didn't want a relationship with me because she didn't think my status was high enough for her. It wasn't about attraction or enjoying each others company, it was about the pride she would feel by showing off to her friends. It was about the trophy aspect, not the connection.

I should have walked away right then, but I wanted to be wrong. Stupid of me really. The more we hung out the more her self-serving attitude shined through. It was always about her adgenda. No middle ground. If we were going to spend time together then it was doing what she was interested in doing. We talked about the things she was interested in. Always her expectations that had to be met. Always her emotional needs that took presedence.

Last week I told her to shove it. She was house sitting for a friend and was ill, so she was bored. She asked me to come over. The usual thing happened and we ended up cuddling on the sofa watching TV. It got late and she said she wanted to go to bed. I told her I'd like to stay over with her. She refused me and I got a taxi home at 2.00AM in the rain. When I got back I was pretty mad so I sent her a message telling her that I was sick of being used as a disposable body pillow and gave her an ultimatum. Of course if you're ever in a position where an ultimatum is required there's really only one outcome - so that was the end of that story.

Couple of days later and I'm picking up some stuff from her place and talking to her housemate. Turns out that this girl had been seeing another guy on the side. He was the head chef of some resturaunt but he had rejected her. So all along I was the safety blanket. She wanted this chef becasuse he had a good job, status, traveled the world, ect. She didn't want me becasuse I was unemployed and a homebody. The second time I met this girl was actually the night I'd lost my job, so she didn't really know me as anything more than some guy on benifits. Wonder how this whole thing would have played out if she'd known that before that I was the currator for the second largest gallery in my town, a semi famous artist, or that I've got close to 1/4 a million in the bank. I reckon that she would have been desperatly trying to plant a flag in my arse and claim me as her's had she known.

That life's over now though. Thanks to the actions of a woman (naturally). Not only a woman, but my former therepist! But I'll save that story for another time.

And anyway, why does this girl think that she's worth someone like that? She doesn't have a job, is not particullaly attractive, is taking meds to keep stable, doesn't own her own house, car, whatever, and isn't actively seeking to improve herself in any way. But then equality is an alien concept to women - which probably why modern feminism is such a load of ********.

I wanted to ask a hypothetical question:

In a community comprised of 100 men and 200 women, how do you think the relationships will play out?

[spoiler]
Roughly 20 men will sleep with nearly all the women while the other 80 or so become bitter and frustrated. The women will say they hate the "lucky" men because they can't keep hold of them, but will continue to pursue them regardless by prostituting themselves for their attention. It's a miserable cycle that is crap for everyone. Well except for those top 20 men. That's true male privilage and it's given to them by women. Kind of ironic in a way.
[/spoiler]

Have you thought about studying Red Pill Philosophy? At first it comes off misogynistic, but if you're able to discard those types of thoughts, you could learn more information that will definitely help you with this problem of yours.

ii think that could definitely be one reason. I dated a guy who said he was tired of not meeting "quality people"... he set such high standards that no one could meet, judge and criticized others for it. I think it was his defense mechanism for getting hurt.. he'd turn everything into a moralistic battle e.g. not saying goodbye at the end of a call, texting after a certain hour, being late (like literally one time we had dinner with his friends at 5, he wanted to leave at 4:30 and I kid you not, got mad bc it was 4:31 and I was still putting hairspray on my hair, I was ready by 4:32). so, when he complains that I disrespected him, that I'm selfish for being late, that I deeply embarrassed him in front of his friends... I gear up my defense mechanism, he calls my defense being selfish. maybe I was.. for being late that way... at the end of that I said I upset you, it's going to be awkward now, go ahead, nope he made me go and halfway changed his mind after I said if I disappoint you find someone who makes you happy and dropped me back to my car. I got dumped 3 weeks after that. .. that's t3 weeks today. it sucks

but in essence, built up unrealistic expectations, fear of getting hurt, can alienate people. at the same time bad women in his past can hurt the current relationship with a good person now. there are bad people out there , there are good people. I sometimes wonder if bc we have lived with depression that we just have a negative outlook. time and time again Before I get dumped 3 guys have said I'm negative- negative outlook, I get defensive and I take things personally.

how do you know if you're the problem or the other person? how do you change your perspective on the opposite sex when you've been hurt by them? it's not as easy to just say, stop focusing on the wrong person or negative view . how do you recondition?

Well I wouldn't generalize judging just by this one girl.

Most women I associate with ( of any age) are very much for equality and aren't looking for anyone above them in status.

This girl was kind of bad news from the beginning. When she said she just wants physical company of a man logical solution would be to say no thanks. She was pretty up front with what she wanted.

Honestly I think it might be a good idea to investigate why are you attract and kept pursuing a girl who had nothing going for her:no job no stability selfish no sex drive doesn't want to improve herself and isn't even attractive plus doesn't even care about you and from how you describe her you have no respect for her yet you keep pursuing her.

thats something to explore. Rather than being angry at her rejecting you ( if she is that horrid should you be happy she rejected you?) I think it's better to analyze yourself and your choices maybe with help of a therapist. Why go for low class women whom you don't ever like and then be disappointed?

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well you're better off is all i can say, why would you want women like this?