need some advice on my relationship

Please, don't say that you bore people with it. That's why we are here, to help each other by sharing and receiving similar stories that can help us. I think you would have been, but as you say, if he doesn't want to be mature and say it..

How things go, it's really weird.

But I see good things coming out of it. I mean, we are here. we share, we hurt, we receive good words that help us move on.

Also, for me, it was the first time I hurt and shared with others. I told my mom today, I tried to be cool and said it all cool and with acceptance, but first I opened my mouth and I heard words coming out, I couldn't stop crying. I also shared with my friends, they were really supportive and I felt them hurting for me also. And my friends from his town to which am going to stay the next days during my business trip said that they are sorry and that they will take me to the seaside for the weekend to relax and enjoy the sun and the beach. And that if I want to cry, I can do that also.

Sure you saw some good things related to your hurting and beside him that happened to you.

I just learned that sharing is much way healthier than keeping to yourself and hurt alone.

Relationships do require some work however typically 8 months into relationship is a happy exciting time. Sometimes work start later when people live together and deal with household issues. If only 8 month in there are such conflicts it has no where to go but downhill.

No I don't find good relationship hard at all, sure some tweaking but no, doesn't need to be hard. If relationship is that hard especially in the beginning its not a good sign.

I think the issue is what type of people you want to be with. I personally don't want to be with men who give silent treatment or fight ugly. That's not pleasant. I think at this point you know that's how he is. It's not going to change, he isn't a teenager.

If he is ok with you calling and texting and begging for his attention and showing your suffering and he is still not talking, that's not the kind of man one needs to be with. Pretty cruel.

So no when things are right with the right person, there should be no such suffering as what you described. Not at all

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Lol ruari about emotional unavailable men. I have some other less than pleasant names for this dude.

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It's a shame that all break ups can't have the loose ends wrapped up in pretty paper and big bow. It Sucks ... I am so sorry that you have been hurt this way.

There is probably numerous reasons why he decided to be a coward basically and an assshat.

Life is about lessons... Seems the best lessons I have learned has come from a shyt relationship. I found out what I wanted in a relationship and what I flat out would not deal with.

As already said ... Grieve the lose of the relationship. You could have really dodged a bullet with this guy, I know hard to see that angle of this at the moment.

Be kind to yourself, Try to remind yourself he is the one that has done all the harm and broken your trust in him. Don't allow yourself to fall down the rabbit hole of feeling its your fault... he has done this. If need be find a therapist to help you work through all of this.

Welcome to PC. I''m glad your being comforted and finding support here

You sound like an awesome woman so you deserve an awesome life with no unnecessary pain. We are here for you

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thank you!

Actually, it got more complicated this week. I jut found out that I am pregnant with the guy. As I said, we were trying before all this. But after I found out, I called him, he didn't answer. I texted, he didn't answer. And I fell like ****, but I am trying to recompose myself and go get rid of this baby. I can't have a baby with this guy.

really thank you. I just found out this week that I am pregnant with him. And he still doesn't answer my calls or texts. It hurts, but I realized that I am alone in this and the only way I can fix it is to get rid of the baby and restart my life with new strengths and new desires and to get of everything that was him for me, too. I can't bring a baby to this, it's not his fault I was that idiot to love so much and trust so much a man that treats me now like this. I am kind of under shock, I mean we were trying to have one, but the fact that not even now, that it happened, it's not changing his reactions, I can not take it anymore.

OMG I don't even know what to say. He isn't responding knowing you are pregnant? What an evil person. I can't advice on the subject of what to do as I don't know what's best for you ... Do you have a family to help you through? Sending you hugs. We are here whatever you decide

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I have family, I moved with my parents because I'm opening a bookshop in september and I had to cut the spendings. Now, I have no job, no money, no insurance, living with my parents, dealing with his behavior and the breakup. How could I have the baby? It's irresponsible, I feel. And I feel that I will never get rid of this if I bring the child, how could I look at him knowing what his father did to me, to us? Why should I be forever connected with such an evil person and hateful and with such lack of character?

And I cannot tell my family, they are super religious and against abortions. I think that after a huge fight they will try to convince me to keep the baby and now I don't see myself alone in this, a single mother with a crazy selfish ex that may never want to see the child. And a new business, and all the stress from that, what kind of life the child will have knowing how he was abandoned by his father. And that his father loves her/his stepsister that exists also. What is the child's fault that I was so stupid to love and trust his father?

You aren't stupid. We've all been there. I don't know what to advice about the baby as its a personal decision but it's ok to stay with your family until you are on your feet and it's awesome idea to open a business. Sounds like a very good plan to me. If you decide to keep a baby please file for child support. Regardless if he responds to you or not make sure he pays his part. You are a strong person and whatever you decide will work out.

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Dear Divine1966,

I am writing here again just for some updates. Didn't enter the forum for a long time because it brings back lot of pain. There 2 reasons for coming back here.

First, thank you for the support and messages, it helped me more than I thought it would. I am seeing a therapist since last year and this forum and your messages helped me understand that I need therapy to go on.

So, I had the abortion, it was the best I could did at the time and I'm still learning to make peace with it. I didn't tell my family, they wouldn't have let me and I need it to make my own decision, regardless everybody. It wasn't easy emotionally (nor physically actually, because I had months of complications) still isn't, but I can't turn back the time so that's it. He never replied back and I stopped calling him thanks to you.

The other reason is that I just wanted to share that life has a way of grabbing yourself and take you down that it's truly amazing. Even doe he is not present in my life physically, I work sometimes with his colleagues, which is awkward for everybody and nobody says his name. He work in radio and I am working at my bookshop that I opened last year with my best friend. Even if it's different cities, his colleagues take interviews or we work on distance at some projects together. I got used to it, if it happens that I am in his city, he avoids me, if he's in mine, I am avoiding him. That until today, when the producer came to the bookshop and asked me calmly to go in for an radio interview live about the bookshop in two weeks, in his city, with him at the buttons. If I am up to and it's not too much. Because they want it and they hope I can ignore the fact that he will be there at the buttons. So I said yes, regardless the fact that I started to tremble and have short heavy breath. I thing I am stronger and that I need this confrontation without a real confrontation about us, but it's still one since we will see each other and be in the same room and look in each others eyes through the live transmission.

I am sharing this because I needed to and because you helped me a lot through a really ****ed up time.

Thank you!

I'm sorry you are going through this. You've already gotten excellent advice so I just wanted to lend my support. You do sound like an awesome lady and do deserve better. I hope your therapist can help you process this and you can move on.

Thank you for your support!

We'll be here cheering you on through the interview.

You've been through so much worse already, you can handle this.

I agree. You've got this!!!!

Thank you!!!