Living situation

As before mentioned, I moved in with three other girls a month ago and more. They seemed nice. Soon after I came, I could not make an emotional or closer bond I felt in a way and started to feel lonely. I could not talk a lot but not because I felt shy or anxious, more like I am lacking some skills. Conversations just stalled very soon after I started talking
I began to sleep a lot in room, day and night, nearly a month. (I had some money saved up.) Partly because I felt this way and partly because I did not know what to do in free time. I just did not know and do not what to do in my time, how to use it (other than plain work). I tried to keep these relationships going and tried to find some other ways to hang out with people (still need more).
One girl had complaints about cleaning, as if I did not clean well enough though I really did a fine job. I felt like I might be bothering her in other ways, so I asked if there was something up and she said she does not feel good energy (from me apparently), that she is not the only one who thinks so, and that I was irresponsible and unclean (as in flat). I feel worried. Though I need to leave I don't want to bother people I live with, I'd really like good relationships. I tried quite hard and I worry.
What do you think?

I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's like you're on trial and don't even know what the charges are. If that one roommate has complaints about your cleaning and being irresponsible then she needs to be specific. Also if she said she didn't get good energy (implying from you) then she needs to be mature enough to be specific. If the other roommates feel the same they need to be honest and again specific. How can you fix the situation if you don't even know what the situation is? Only then can you make progress. Do you want to move out?

There are books, seminars and various other resources to help you learn how to be an adept speaker.

Also, spending all that time in bed isn't helping your mental health. Could you make a routine or goals for yourself to get up and running?

Good luck talking to your roommates. Best wishes.

Well, she said irresponsible and unclean. Is that not specific? What else should she have said?
As for routine, the only thing is I do not know what exactly I can do. Yes I can cook, run/walk, read a bit and possibly work but this is not enough to fill the day at all. I did volunteer some time. Do you have any ideas what else I could do?
Thanks.

If you were to say ok, I'll fix this would you know what it is you're fixing? If she things you're irresponsible...how so? Do you break things, leave the doors unlocked, not pay the rent on time? How are you irresponsible? That's what I'm getting at. She also said you were unclean but you said you did a fine job. Ok so what specifically are you unclean about? Do you not do dishes, not take the trash out, etc? How are you unclean? You can't fix something when you have no idea exactly what it is.

If you had/have a job and cook, exercise, meditate, read a little (even about social skills) and volunteer...wouldn't this take up a large part of your day?

It was just about someone as a person, what she meant. As for cleaning, I forgot to clean the stove a couple times (it's black and I just forgot to clean some oily stains) but I did it and started doing it after that.
Else it's about someone as a person. She got that feeling about me. How can I fix it? I don't know, do you?
Also the "things I can do" part, do you have any ideas about that? It does not take up all day. I stll often feel that I don't know how to use my time. :/

How can you fix 'it' when you don't know what 'it' is? Do you see yourself as a person to be irresponsible? Do you consider yourself as a person to be someone who gives off bad energy? You need more feedback.

As for things to do are there any groups you can join like a single ladies supper club, book club, bible study, movie matinee club or any other get togethers that might interest you?

Like I said she experiences me as a person who is that way. I can't say if I am but I do not intend to make anyone feel unwell with me. Some people have said I am nice but they tend to be older ladies or older than me. I know I am different with peers my age... but I hope not this way. I don't know, I felt that because of how I could not establish a bond and communicate as well as I wanted to, this happened. Yes I am worried. I did not want to come across this way. Not all people I live with will have courage to tell me straight if something is wrong. It is worse if it is just uncomfortable all the time in a way?

Bless your heart. Being uncomfortable all the time is no way to live. Could you move out? If not, invite your roommates to a little pow wow to put this to rest. You deserve to be happy and you are worth it.

What is pow wow?
Do you think really the problem is me and what should I do if I make people feel unwell?

A pow wow is a little get together. I honestly don't know if you are the problem. When you say what should you do if you make people unwell...you need to know how and in what ways you are making them feel unwell in order to fix it. How else will you know what to fix? I'm here to support you. Best wishes.

Jellyfish18: you worry too much about other people. Be polite, be kind and supportive but please put yourself first. Sometimes people can just say things to be mean or for no real reasons at all.
Be happy sweetheart.

Great advice Jennifer, I couldn't agree more.

Well the thing is she just said it is the "energy" I give off, apparently. So perhaps I make them feel unwell just by my presence (at least these girls). I don't know how to fix something that is part of me or something?
Thank you for reply Lolina. The thing is I already have trouble keeping conversations going or relationships so I do take it seriously. If you rub people wrong way it is not good, clearly.

Problem is more that you're not even attempting to rub.

Most people won't know what to make of that...

If the tables were turned, tell me, would you not be weary of the girl who never hangs out, but rather stays in her room for days?

Tbh that would be giving me a weird vibe.

Ugh, that sounds like a really ****** situation. Have you signed a lease ? Are you paying rent? If so you it's just as much your place as their' s and if she gets "bad energy" (Which is a BS excuse to say you don't like someone) she can leave.

In my experience people get insulted if you keep to yourself because they think you owe them your time or energy. You'd think it would be the opposite-someone who stays in their room most of the time would be easy to live with-but no. As far as the cleaning, so long as you are picking up after yourself and cleaning up messed you make they shouldn't have a problem. If she's the one who notices the stove looks dirty and has an issue with that , she can clean it her damn self.

Luckily the room mate I live with us awesome. We both respect each other's boundaries and don't nag at eachother. I'm admittedly the cleaner one of the two of us and I clean the house so that it looks the way I want it to. Some people have different standards as far as that goes. Just because a spot on the counter may bother me doesn't mean it has to bother my room mate nor should it.

I know people in the past have gotten had energy from me bt really all that is "I can't control you and make you into the person I want you to be". So please don't take offense to it. People are just weird. You don't owe these girls crap.

We all have people that we don't jive we'll with. That doesn't make it your fault. If I were you I would try to find people that you connect better with - before this starts to deteriorate your feelings of self esteem and self worth.

Thanks all for replies.
I did try and hang out but we didn't get round to it ... Anyway the point is that I tried. I don't know what else I can do instead of "try". I cannot keep talking when I am not getting a response right? I seem to have issues living with people and keeping a relationship going for long in this way but I don't know what I can do about that except try and chit-chat, anyway. I guess it does not help I don't know exactly how to "hang out". This might sound weird but it's true in a way.

I don't see why you should have to hang out if it's not on the lease. You don't owe anyone your time. It's situations like this that piss me off because I feel like introverts ALWAYS get the short end of the stick.

You know what gives me a weird vibe ? People who don't respect my need for space !

I'm just trying to look at it from a different perspective...

I actually prefer being left alone myself, I am an INTJ...

But guess what I have learned, when some people find it hard to get a read on others, those others, namely us introverts, we are subconsciously deemed untrustworthy... No point in getting angry about it, its nobody's fault, its just how our brains catalogue.

My t actually told me that. It prompted me to interact with my manager more, now she generally leaves me alone unless its a really slow day at the office.

Nobody is forcing jelly to be friendly, jelly has in fact expressed a desire to be social and friendly.

Jelly is not obligated by her lease to hang out, I only suggested it because 1: She craves friends, and 2: It would give her housemates an idea of who they live with.

I cant speak for anyone else, but I would feel quite uncomfortable and unsafe living with someone I knew absolutely nothing about.

In an ideal situation, housemates meet, get to know each other a bit, realized whom are introverted, and subsequently respect their alone time...

So to reiterate, my posts were not any kind of war on introverts, just a different perspective, which we all could use from time to time.

This is an interesting perspective.
I'm personally an ENFP (extroverted), so the idea that someone needs tons of alone time alone in their room boggles my mind. I need a couple hours a day and that's pretty much it. I use alone time to be productive and work on my many hobbies. But honestly, too much alone time makes me feel depressed.

I am an extrovert, to be clear.
Trippin2.0, I tried to hang out and talk and I did not get a lot of response (from two girls, NOT all) so I withdrew a bit at some point and started to stay more in the room. I did not feel happy about it and I really wanted to have a good relationship. This is what happened.
In general, when I start to live with someone instead of feeling more comfortable and happy eventually I frequently don't know what to say or how to have a close relationship. I am not sure what I can do about this?

I love your honesty

Well sorry for assuming...I guess I tend to associate staying in one's room with introversion but I suppose it can be for a number of different reasons

What am I so honest about?