Is it wrong to look up to people

You were blaming your superior for something that was your fault. Of corse only those who didn't know what your behavior was offered you sympathy, but it was sympathy under false pretenses. You misrepresented the situation by not presenting your behavior that pushed her. Of course those that knew what you were doing would not support you and deleted you.

Also the people outside your work only saw YOUR SIDE of the story & probably arent used to challenging your behavior that is bad but judt accepting whatever you do.

The people in the company saw your bad behavior & saw the issues it caused in the work place & when someone is fired for bad behavior, people want to distance themselves from that person because they know the bad behavior & may feel if they befriend you after that you may end up behaving with that same bad behavior toward them. They probably feel that distance is the safest way for them not to end up continuing to encourage the behavior & safest for them to distance permanently.

Any time our behavior has a bad effect on others there are ALWAYS CONSEQUENCES in adult life. I think you ate just finding out what being an adult with adult responsibilities for adult behavior is all about. Until now, you have gotten away with acting like you did as a child.

So after my 90 days were up, I went inside the fast food joint as a customer. My supervisor simply said hi and took my order. She never gave any indication that she ever knew me. That was devastating. Especially as it wasn't busy and she had time to stand around talking to other people about her facebook.

A few days later, I realized I must move forward and forgive her. I'm not forgiving her because she deserved it, but because being mad at her is holding me back. So I let go and focus on things that actually matter, like my current job. And school. And starting from scratch in making new friends after I pushed existing ones away with my chronic bad attitude. My supervisor may have wrecked a lot of havoc in my life, but this is where it will stop.

Again, your supervisor did not cause bad havoc in your life, your behavior did that. Still it's good that you are moving on.

She didn’t wreck havoc, she simply did what needed to be done under the circumstances. I think you could buy your meal at a different place since it upsets you. Isn’t it fast food joint, I’d use a different one.

Um...okay, I don't know why you went back in there, even after your 90 days were up. There was no reason for you to go back to that store.

She did not wreak havoc on your life. You broke the rules repeatedly and were let go because of it. You stalked her, made her uncomfortable, and she was completely professional towards you by serving you when you came in. She was under no obligation to be friendly with you other than giving you your order.

I am glad that you have decided to move on, but I do not understand why you had the compulsion to go in there.

Move on, do not go in there again. It's really disturbing that the first chance you got you returned to the store just to see how she would behave towards you. This is a continuation of your previous stalking behavior.

Move on and focus on the other things in your life like your current job and school, as you said.

It's like she doesn't even care how I'm doing or how I've been. Yet when a coworker (J) went in there 6 months after quitting, my supervisor was sooo happy to see her. She asked J how she's been and stuff like that. Then they caught up with each other. **** that. Oh well, at least my former coworkers caught up with me. I will treat people better than that.

Weren't you let go from this job? Due to your stalking behaviors? Why would you go back in there and expect your old supervisor to care how you're doing or want to talk to you? You had irritated the situation to the point of being let go. Please do move on and focus on other things in your life that are more important now.

Given what you did to her it's completely unrealistic to expect her to treat you as she did your coworker.

Ruby
I am so sorry that you have problems with boundaries. I wish I were able to show you how your behavior drastically crosses boundaries thus causing some to act defensive. I believe that your former boss is demonstrating such behavior.
Unfortunately I am not trained to demonstrate you the impact of your actions but it is very visible, if you choose to see it and realize that it can be fixed.
Good luck

BIG DIFFERENCE...your co worker QUIT. You were FIRED. And you were fired for inappropriate behavior towards the person you think should be giving you attention.

She did not treat you poorly. She treated you like someone who does NOT need to be encouraged to continue behave badly. She did not socialize with you because she did not want to encourage you to continue your inappropriate behavior.

You are still deflecting the blame from you to her. She is not to blame. She has behaved in a professional manner. Just because she chose not to socialize with you does not make her a bad person or a mean person.

This will continue to happen if you cannot stretch yourself to understand that you did this to yourself. And stop blaming her for your actions.

Seesaw

Honesty, try to see the difference.

You were fired for stalking behavior. When you come back, your former boss was polite but she cannot be expected to express any particular interest in you. In fact when people are/we’re stalked, it’s advisabke for them to not engage with their stalkers, don’t have conversations and don’t express interest, remain neutral and keep your distance: in order to protect yourself.

How do you not see that?

Yoyr ex-boss knows that showing interest in a person who behaved WRONGLY toward her could only ending that behavior to start up again & she deakt with your bad behavior once, she doesnt want to take any chance that interfacing with you could encourage this bad behavior again luke your constantly returning to the food place just to see her. No one understands why your mind is working the way it does on tbis & the FACT that you are NOT taking responsibility fir being the one that caused your OWN PROBLEMS is a good indication why it was wise that she didn't engage with you personally when you came to get food.

You have a serious problem NOT takibg responsibility for your own behaviors & dont seem to grasp tbe concept that YOUR OWN behaviors cause people to set boundaries to keep yiyr bad behaviors out of their lives.

Your behaviors have consequences. You seem unwilling to learn to understand this. I understand that people with Aspergers tend to think in this way as my exHusband ALWAYS blamed everyone else for what his actions caused & I know another lady on the soecteum that does the same thing. It is not a thinkibg that is acceptable in society. Takibg responsibility for ine's own behaviors & their consequences is the responsible way to deal with one's behaviors.

If you don't learn to do this in the future, even miving on will be filled with problems as it seems you learned NOTHING from this experience to grow from.

This would be goid therapy work for you.

My nephew used to do this. Whenever a family friend came to visit, he would follow her around when he's not playing. It was literally 2 steps behind. He would call her name constantly and interrupt adult conversations. When it's time for her to leave, he would chase after her and beg her to stay. And she reinforced bad behavior by being nice to him when he does this. He's in kindergarten now and hasn't done this in 2 years.

I wanna at least be at his current level and stop getting too close to others. If he could change, so could I.

That said, I did reapply for my old job. My supervisor said to follow up the next day because it takes 24 hours to get into her system. She even told me what time to follow up with the assistant manager. But she also said I'm not rehirable. When I was being terminated, however, the DM said they'll consider my application after 90 days, which has since been up. The DM said I'm only not rehirable the first 90 days. Does that mean I have a chance?

I went in to follow up on my application and it was a little busy. I waited for it to slow down before daring to approach anyone about this. While I was waiting, she came to me and b*tched at me not to sit there and stare at them. I wasn't. So I immediately told her I'm following up on my application. She never asked me when I applied and she just said it didn't go through without even checking on it! She pushed it on the assistant manager who'll be there the next day.

Other people have went in there to follow up on their application and if it's busy, they also sat there and waited. And if they happened to be former employees, my supervisor would talk to them at great length about them coming back. I promise I'll change. I just need another chance.

Maybe you need to try changing at another lication where you don't already have a bad reputation. It is nit easu to prove yiu have changed to people you have already annoyed by your behavior.

Go somewhere new & start over there making a new GOOD reputation for yourself.

After already pushing that manager to the piint you did, it will be almost impossible to regain her respect.

By the time I left my H because of his behavior honestly even if he had been able to change he had made me so angry at him I never want to see him ever again. When you push people to the point you did, they dont want to have anything more to do with you. Much better to start over fresh in a new location where your bad reputation doesn't already exist to prove you can change.

You don't even know you will change. Why in the world do you think they should give you a chance only to go through the same thing if you can't chsnge?

What happened to the other job you had to focus on. I thought you had a solid other job you had been at for quite awhile to focus on, not just the seasonal one?

Go prove you can change at a new place.

I'm still at my other job. I don't have that kind of interest in anyone there. I only like them as regular coworkers and work friends. Consequently, things are going well.

And as for another location, I was also told that my record is accessible by ALL the stores in the franchise (think 300+). That's why I need to be rehirable so I could work at another location.

So right when 90 days are up you rush to go into the store to see how your old manager treats you. She ignores you, as she should, you get pissed off and blame her for your bad behavior. Everyone here reminds you that you were stalking her. You ignore us. You reapply to said store, go in and hang around where you are unwanted and unwelcome, then get mad that she doesn't welcome you there, when you are still stalking her, and you think they will rehire you?

Let me put this point blank: that store will NEVER rehire you. And it's highly unlikely that any local store of that franchise will hire you if they share the same computer files.

I guarantee you that you are on the road to legal action and a restraining order.

You were fired for cause. They aren't going to rehire you when the cause was so severe. (You're not going to be rehired after stalking your manager, just not going to happen. It doesn't matter if you have a disorder or on the spectrum or not. This behavior is not acceptable and it is, in fact, THREATENING to the individual you are so focused on - the manager.)

Stop going in there. Let it go. Apply for a job somewhere else. Leave your old manager and that old store entirely alone.

Stalking is defined under the law as two unwanted contacts. You've gone far beyond that. you bet your bottom that manager is keeping a log of every unwanted contact you've ever made and soon you will find yourself in court.

Don't you have a case manager or social worker, if I recall? What do they say or recommend about you continuing to go in there?

Seesaw

I’m just not gonna go in there again if my application gets declined.

Good. Learn and move on. You have a lot to offer another employer, but you can't go back there.

You need to let this go. Rushing out to apply the minute you 90 days were up tells me that you are still fixated on this store. Let it go. Find another store to work at and remember if your 2 year old nephew could change so can you by applying what you have learned from this to the new job.

What makes you think that you will be rehired at that same location? Why do you even want to work there?
Why are you insisting on going back to a place where you know that you aren’t welcomed? Your behavior is hurting you. Why do you do this to yourself? I know it is sad not to be wanted and it is even worse if you are not wanted because you made multiple mistakes. I get that. But please stop hurting yourself more than you already have. Try to understand that your behavior created this unfortunate situation and your behavior will stop it (if you care to pay attention to your destructive behavior).
I understand that you have a condition and please just focus on the behavior caused by your condition and you will be able to see the obvious lack of attention to others’ needs. Please work with your social worker on this

Thx. I now have no desire to ever return to that location. In fact, on my way to school each day, I take a different route to avoid even passing by that store. That would reduce my temptation to go in.

I reread the previous posts on this thread plus posts on other forums on this topic. I guess maybe it is inappropriate to ALWAYS show up to work on my days off. And to stay in the workplace for an hour or two after my shift ended. It's even worse if my only reason was to see a particular colleague, who'll then feel uncomfortable. If prolonged, it will lead to the consequence I have now.

btw, while I was waiting to follow up on my application, my supervisor went up to me and said, "If you're gonna sit there and stare at us, I'll get a restraining order." I immediately explained I was following up on my application and just waiting until it gets less busy. She didn't like my explanation and told me I was fired and not rehirable. She only mentioned the follow up because I asked.

Is it possible for someone not to give a damn about you and still be an inherently good person? Or would it make them horrible people?

That was very smart of you to change your route! I'm also happy that you are beginning to understand your inappropriate behavior.

Yes Ruby, it is possible for a good person to not care about you anymore after you have crossed their boundaries. To put it simply, you made her mad and now she doesn't like you anymore.