There is this friend

Something poped into my mind, was wondering if this is true or just a part of my negative thinking that I need to get away from somehow?

So she was going to phone me Tuesday but I got tired and text her I was going to bed, looked like she was looking forward to talking to me but anyway I called her and we talked for an hour today, talked about a bunch of stuff including what about phone calls? like if she likes them or if people call her often? Nobody calls her, not even her sister and said she guesses nobody likes talking on the phone, said I would call her once a month and she was ok with that. She does not keep in contact with anyone by the sounds of it, they all have to text or call her to stay around. But she said she's not talked to one of these girls in a loooong time and should invite her over.

What popped into my head was...when I asked to see her place she just said it's too messy and would have to clean up, but the person she not seen in a long time was going to visit her at her place so she must really hate me or something and maybe she's only put up with me because she feels guilty for taking all that money and doesn't have the heart to tell me to beat it? Like I said, I am going to slowly push myself away from her but I will be thankful for all the amazing times I had with her, especially that 1 summer we got really close even if we only saw eachother because I was giving her money, October we only hung out because she felt guilty for the guy at my work saying she used me for my money since I told her asap what happened. She also has not text me "xo" or "Was thinking of you" anymore either, even at midnight like that 1 time, not for a long time. It hurts but maybe I will find someone who cares about me, I doubt it lol.

((((Human3284)))) You will find someone else... you're very kind and sweet. Many hugs

That great advice! I wish that I had thought about that myself!

Your not worthless. But I do think that she is using you.

I'm sorry that she did this to you.

I still feel like she is using you for your money, time you spent with her whenever she feel she needs you. If she is your friend? She wouldn't be treating you this way. Take her to small claim court and sue her for the money she owes you and the stress that she had caused you. Then cut off ties with her let people you know how she treats people.

I completely agree! Try joining a meet up in your local area. Try online dating. Sometimes moving forward means your trying out something new. You never know until you try it out!

Have you thought about going after your dream job?

It does sound like she was using you for your money. I had someone do that to me one time (it was not a romantic thing, but she kept asking me for money, and I kept giving it to her because I felt sorry for her). She finally revealed her true colors when I told her I couldn't drive her wherever she wanted to go anymore (she's blind and can't drive). She got mad and texted me some hateful things and called me the C word. So I blocked her. I will never talk to her again. I know I won't get my money back (she's on disability and doesn't have much money) but a clean break can feel really good. I recommend you doing that.

If she start asking question about why you haven't talk in awhile?. Try turning it around and start asking her. Why was she taken advantage of your money and feeling when she knew it was wrong?. Why is she always have time for her other friend but never have time for you unless she needs something? Then explain to her you were force to go in the other direction for the sake of your mental health. She wasn't interest in you and had been in a very long time. You tried your best to save this friendship but it was her who ruin it. This way she is force to see what she had done to you. If she doesn't answer your question than you can explained that you are sorry she feels that way and we should have went our separate ways a long time ago. I hope that this was able to help you get some peace that you deserve from this toxic friend.

I think she is just using you and hiding something from you.

I completely agree with you! I feel the same way! That the girl is just a user.

I'm just going to let the thread die now. She made her choice, time to make mine. She went on a trip for her job but before she did (day after we talked for an hour on the phone last week) she had a concert and invited people I work with but never invited me after the BS in October telling me she wants me to come to events she goes to. Once again she tells me things I wanna hear when she does not mean it. Definatly don't mean anything to her, so time to vanish instead of a slow fade. Ohwell, at least she is enjoying her dream job she told me she got because of me (unless that's a lie too lol).

I am sorry that she did this to you! You lost a friend. It might be best that the friendship ended

Funny, was just checking this forum today and seen the thread was bumped. As for the woman? found out why this whole time it's so hard to hang out with her, her friends all have 2 things in common. 1) they are female and 2) they all know her family and I don't, so I have had 0% chance of being anything beyond an aquantance this whole time. Yes I use the word aquantance different then the actual meaning.

So while she keeps wanting me to call her and told me we will ALWAys be together and get through everything together being there for each other I have wanted an actual friendship, have someone I can hang out with on a regular or semi regular basis. So basically her telling me a few summers ago about wanting a small group of friends was not meant for me, which confuses me why she would bother telling me that then? and when she told me she now has time for people that matter to her, once again not me LOL!!! Ohwell, I have been hitting up girls on tinder for the last little while.

Happy new years.

Happy New Years, human. The future beckons to you. Let go of the past. Summer of 2017 is history now. Let go. Live in the present.

You won't see the opportunities 2019 offers, if you keep staring in that rearview mirror. You are still a young man. Don't waste what is left of your youthful years dwelling on what you wished had happened. Nothing wrong with having wished for something. But it's wrong to engage in endless regret and endless wondering "why." It's wrong to surmise you've figured everything out. It's okay to remain puzzled about why someone withdraws from us. Humans aren't meant to understand everything. Just know that you need to shift into forward gear and watch what's in front of you. Get out of your head. And don't overly rely on the Internet to find what you need.

Hey, it's been a while. I'm finally over her, rarely think about her over the past several months and not talked on phone in about 3 months rather then every 2-3 weeks. We text every month and find a time to meet up for hiking, but those feelings seemed to have died off really fast within a few days when I had this weird feeling. Feels weird that I don't have this longing for connectedness with people anymore either, I am perfectly fine not doing anything around people and the thought of being close to people or trying to makes me feel like a drama queen looking for attention now and I feel so awkward. I guess I am just a normal introvert again.

So the two of you meet up to go hiking! But you're not overly hung up on her. That all sounds like the perfect resolution of all you went through. I'm glad for you.

It's okay to be an introvert. We can't really choose our basic temperament. But, but, but . . . do not give up on making connections. Humans need other humans.

Yes I am glad it happened now rather then earlier when I was a mess. Apparently she met a guy, from the moment they looked at each other they fell in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together, they went on a date and right away became a couple. When I first found out I was a little bummed because I wasted all this time wanting the things they will constantly do and I've known her for like 16? years or something and he's already a better man then me, Phoned her today and let her know I had feelings for her in the past and got over her but was a little bummed when I found out, she was flattered and told me several guys came out and told her they liked her, some bolted when they found out about her story and 1 ended the friendship so he can get over her and come back to her as a friend which did not hold to well with her, but she's that friendly that it sends mixed signals. I'm done here...still going to do hikes once a month or once every 2 months depends on how busy she is.

Sounds like you are adjusting pretty well. Her getting into a close relationship may have helped you to let go.

I would caution you about something. She and this new guy will have their ups and downs, like any other couple. If you stay involved with her, you may get hopeful when she and him have spats, if she tells you all about it. They may even break up. You'ld be wise to not take too keen an interest in how this relationship of hers goes.

Naw I am good. I realized something when she tells me she's always busy hanging out with her mom, driving her kids, working, doing her activities and too busy to hang out with me more...she found him and all of a sudden he's her number 1 which means she did have time but I am not a priority to her, after all we have been through together and some new guy comes in and all I wanted was to be close to her more, I am done waiting. We have never really talked about everything that happens in our lives, she mostly just talks about herself family related issues. She does not tell me of major things that happen in her life, I normally find things out from other people at my work Never really gave me the time of day for that stuff after the summer of 2017.

I tell myself there is someone out there just like her that will have me as a priority in her life that I will really enjoy her company, talks with in person and the phone. I mean we don't really click anyway, I dunno how to respond to her half the time which is weird because if you knew me I never ever shut up and everyone would tell you I am a really happy person.

I'll still talk to her sometimes, but i've moved on. I gotta get back into my own things. She wants to go for a coffee in the next day or 2 if she has the car and then hike in a few weeks.

Alright probably my last post in here. She's moving like 3 hours away to be with her boyfriend and he's got a LOT in common with me, we (me and her) hung out today downtown having a picnic just the 2 of us and she told me the news amung other awesome news she had and that I would call her in a month and we can hang out again in August for a long hike, she agreed. Text her not long ago that I had a good time with her and that I am really happy for her news and I am happy for her and everyone else involved, although I am unsure what is going to happen to us now when she moves for us talking and hanging out. She text back aw thanks, it was good seeing me today and that we will definatly keep in touch. Not so sure, she will just be here for her daughters and job and that's it. Seems over to me when she does go.

Life keeps on going, so must I. I really wanna change myself around though, not for her but I like who I am when I am around people not bringing me down. I also want more experiences like I had with this woman, just being around people I feel good being around but only if I am a priority to this person friend or more because being a secondary person destroys me when all I really want is to be someone in that persons life, I also could be asking for far too much and might have to settle for being a bunch of peoples secondarys.

You must be pretty good company for her to still want to do hikes and stuff. If she found you that companionable, probably a lot of others, male and female, would also. So at least you've got some decent personality, or she wouldn't bother at all. She just wasn't looking to get really intimate with you. She obviously finds you likeable. But busy women don't usually want to do a lot of hanging out with a likeable guy that they don't see as a potential partner. So best to move on. Value your own time as much as she values hers. When someone isn't reciprocating your special interest in them, turn your attention elsewhere.

Yes, there is someone out there who would like to make you their real priority. There is no shortage of young women who are unattached and wish they had someone to feel special with. Don't waste time dilly-dallying around when a woman signals she has only a limited interest in you. This woman gave you that signal very clearly. Who knows what available young ladies you might have met, if you were checking out the field during the time you were all focused on the one who got away?

More rejection may come your way. All that means is that you need to keep on moving. It's like being in sales. You are marketing yourself. Take an interest in any and every potential partner you can manage to meet. Circulate. You're naturally talkative, you say, so talk to lots of women . . . even the ones that might not seem that interesting at first glance. It's good practice. You're almost guaranteed eventual success, if you just keep at it and don't waste too much time going after what isn't available.

No one has any obligation to like you as much as you like them. But, if you're a decent guy, someone will sooner or later. You sound pretty decent to me. There are young women out there who feel exactly as you feel. Some have been through what you've just experienced - they liked a guy a lot who didn't like them that much back. Get to know more people. There's billions of them on the planet. Nevermind "settling." You don't have to. And put your wallet away. Don't try to solve other people's problems for them. Go out. Buy some drinks for ladies who'll chat with you. Make some dates. Invest some cash in some nice, enjoyable evenings. Don't listen to sob stories. Allow someone to like you for you and not for your open wallet. I believe you can do it. No self-pity. Just circulate . . . interact . . . take an interest . . . and offer yourself, not your financial help.

Thanks, i'll try it out.

Also if there is 1 thing about me, for whatever reason people tend to enjoy my company. I'll never understand it but i've accepted it. Doesn't lead to friendships because all I do is stay at home playing video games instead of pursue them, although even online it's the same and I mostly stopped looking for friends now online, rather have real friendships with people face to face. Recently had this woman friend break up with me in text because I never wanted to hang out with her. I'm fine with it, I wont wish nasty things to her. I just didn't want to and was fine just texting only. She also named me one of her best friends too fast and wanted me to join her doing hikes, yoga, dinners, etc. I slowed down on making women laugh so easily now and getting close to me too quick.

Been thinking about the guys at my work, maybe starting something up once a month with them like movies, shooting some hoops, tennis, some type of activity and they were interested in this idea in the past but I didn't pursue it.

Cyberspace friendships are illusions. A relationship that consists mainly of texts in not a relationship. It creates the illusion of friendship. Get out of the house. Your idea for a monthly social meet up with coworkers is a good one. Make it happen at least once.

When you're playing those video gsmes, you are in a rut spinning your wheels. Step out of the rut.