Jealousy (Is a little good?)

I appreciate everyone's response here sooooooo much! This has shown me so much!

I'm one of those that don't understand jealously (in a romantic relationship), and have been on the receiving end of the over-the-top, out of control, ugly jealousy. Not understanding it, compounding my dealings with it, I think.

Also, I'm one who catches a woman appreciating my man, and I take it as a compliment.

KD

i gotcha. when i sit down and think about it i realize how rediculous it is for me to be jealous. I guess I try so hard not to put what other people have done to me on him but sometimes it still gets the best of me. In previous relationships my "bad feelings" have turned out to be completely true. and part of the reason is Im trying to sabotage myself. I guess I get the feeling in the mind and heart so that by the time it happens Ill be over it. Then I guess by showing all those negative emotions Im ruining the relationship anyways so whether or not it would have ended naturally, it ends anyways and my predictions become true. I guess none of this ever seemed so clear to me until someone points me in that direction. Hmmm... everything you guys are saying makes perfect sense to me now.

Sorry I hijacked your thread kimmy. this happened to have been something that was bothering me for a couple weeks now so I kinda went off. Ill stop now! lol once again... sorry for the hijack. (but thanks everyone for their input whether it was to me or not, it helped)

I quess it is easier for a women than a man to appreciate like that ...since it is usually more subtle and less often done by women to a man ...where it is obvious

women get appreciated all the time, and men are not as subtle usually, in my opinion

your a hot chick ... sure he is worried about that

maybe he will get over it though

I would like to "weigh" in here... on this subject... I am not a jealous person... really have no jealousy within me...

My best friend is an extremely jealous person... and it is so very, very uncomfortable for me... the friendship of 29 years...

Her jealousy... is so extreme ... that I do not want to be around her hubby... at all...

I wouldn't want her hubby.. have never wanted her hubby.. have never flirted with her hubby... yet... there it is the jealousy...

She once got jealous because I bought a new car... and her husband.. liked my taste in cars... hello... how on earth could I control that he liked my car???

It is not just that ... she is jealous.. of... any other friends that I have... if I buy a something... no matter how small..

This jealousy thing of her.. makes her.. in my opinion a very bitter person... unable to fully enjoy life...

For me the friend... it makes me "guard" my words around her...

So... I just for me... a very long time ago... when I was a teenager.. decided... jealousy just wasn't worth it..

I know this thread is a little old but i couldn't help but respond I am getting out of an unhealthy relationship with an extremely jealous person. I am not a jealous person at all. I don;t believe in jealousy. I guess I've always felt if my man is going to cheat on me there nothing I can do about it, I have to trust or i will go crazy. He on the other had questions every move i make it drives me nuts accussations and makes up things he thinks will catch me in lies it's exhausting. I have never found any of it flattering. I thought I could change him just get him to see i love him enough yeah right it only got worse, he had me to the point where i walk around looking at the ground cause in his mind I was sizing up every guy that walked by me, wow he was so off base it really blew me away I actually thought he was kidding. I never looked at other guys I was crazy about him, but god his accusations and insecurities cut me off from everything, I never could stop at the store if I didn't tell him and god forbid I didn't hear my cell phone ring I was hooking up with another guy. He had me making it with every guy I knew it was repulsive. I always knew my self esteem wasn't the greatest, but in reading these forums I realize my self esteem wasn't that bad it is he who had the issues. He also views my lack of jealousy as not loving him, saying I don't care, how do you rationalize with that. I've spent 5 years trying to prove myself to this person. I realize I was healthy when I met him and I have slowly been pulled into this unhealthy relationship that I can't seem to leave because I keep hoping I will see the man I fell in love with when we first met. How do I get myself to see he never existed. He was a fake to get me to be with him.

Please don't ever believe jealousy is a good thing