[ThisIsMe0557]

everything i do isnt good enough. i try my best to live right and make the people i love happy but i dont get that in return. instead all i get is ridiculed, even when i try to do something nice for someone. everyone constantly remind me of my past and how much of a screw up i used to be. im basically being told things like you dont love me, why did you get me that one i dnt like it, or you cant ever do wha i ask of you. i take these things as them saying im a screw up n i hear it so much i believe it. i really dnt like myself and when i try to talk to the people closest to me about it they tell me im just seeking attention and that i cant be serious and that im stupid. they say this because im an attractive girl and i know that, but everything else about myself i dont like-the way i feel the way i think. i question my capabilities about everything in my life. i dont feel like anything is worth the effort because everyone is just gonna say im wrong anyway. how do i get people to listen to how i feel and actually take me seriously? im on the edge and dont know how much more i'll be able to take.

[(JD)]

It's tough when people act like that, isn't it? You really might do better by not focussing on them, but onto yourself first. If you are truly doing your best for right now, how can you do anything more??? You can't. But you can work on how you feel about yourself, which seems at a big low in your life.

God loves you. (I'm reinforcing this for myself right now too)
You are worth His love.

Are any of us perfect? Nope. And you see that in other people too, right?
We don't have to be perfect for God's love.

Maybe come up with a few "come backs" that aren't offensive, and you that you can deliver with a smile (fake it till you make it?) when someone says something that just isn't true (or no longer true)? "God loves me." "USED to be." "I'm not that way any more." Are possible phrases. While you begin to reprogram their thinking, you will also help yourself to change your way of thinking about yourself.

Quit repeating the nasty things they say. Reframe the things you find yourself thinking that are negative. ("I really don't like myself.... BUT I'm working on liking myself."

[ThisIsMe0557]

thanx for the advice...i hear that im basically worthless so much that i really feel that i am worthless. theres alot of times where i cant even stand the sight of myself. i cant talk to any1 cuz every1 says its bs and that im trippin. no1 takes me seriously. im afraid that when they do it will be too late. i used to be a strong person for every1 else all the time but now i need some1 to b strong for me but ppl dont see it that way. sometimes all i need is a hug and an "it will be ok" and that seems too much to ask anymore. im really trying to feel like im worth it but when no1 else feels like you are its hard. but im goin to try what you said to do. i'll let you know what happens. again, thanx!

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by ThisIsMe0557

everything i do isnt good enough. i try my best to live right and make the people i love happy but i dont get that in return. instead all i get is ridiculed, even when i try to do something nice for someone. everyone constantly remind me of my past and how much of a screw up i used to be. im basically being told things like you dont love me, why did you get me that one i dnt like it, or you cant ever do wha i ask of you. i take these things as them saying im a screw up n i hear it so much i believe it. i really dnt like myself and when i try to talk to the people closest to me about it they tell me im just seeking attention and that i cant be serious and that im stupid. they say this because im an attractive girl and i know that, but everything else about myself i dont like-the way i feel the way i think. i question my capabilities about everything in my life. i dont feel like anything is worth the effort because everyone is just gonna say im wrong anyway. how do i get people to listen to how i feel and actually take me seriously? im on the edge and dont know how much more i'll be able to take.

((((This is me)))), I don't know what your age is, but that doesn't really matter. What you are describing was my family situation. Over the years one by one because I didn't do what they wanted everyone has broken away. That still hurts because all I ever tried to do was the right thing (barrng the times I was angry though, one or two of those times I confided in one family member and he told the one I had confided in him about.

I finally realised today actually that I am on my own now. Yes I have a partner, but if we break up then I truly am on my own and that even though I've always said I wanted that, it is a scary thing. And I'm getting older now, will I die alone? things to think about. But I am better of alone and with a peaceful centre than in a group of lunatics (just my choice).

Look to your future and see what you want not what you haven't had in the past or don't have in the present; always look forward and know that everything happens for a reasom. Sending you hugs and knowing that you have an inner strength to fortify you.

Blessings,
Rhiannon

[Michah]

Hi there,

The reason you feel that you are not good enough, is because you believe that you have to live by other's standards. You are much too precious for that, dear one. Other's standards are often not projected at themselves, but at others. If they spent half as much time reflecting on their own actions, and not on the actions of others, they would be much happier.

In other words, it is easier for them to critisize than it is to be honest with with themselves. It is, and always will be, a projection on to you, of who THEY are. Who is to say that you used to be a 'screw-up'? You used to be like that, by whose standards? WHO is in the position to judge you? NO-ONE!!!! Do they know what you have truly had to overcome in your past? Do they know what you have to overcome now? Do they know how much resilience, fortitude and courage it takes to come back from the brink, and how much it takes to make it through the day sometimes?

Hon, give yourself a big hug. You are not a performing seal, who needs to come out every day and do a show for these people, so that THEY might be momentarily 'happy'. You are a person and human being in your own right. You are entitled to be as you are and how you are. You are your own self and deserve to persue greatness, joy and contentment for self, as you see fit. This is your journey, not theirs.

I don't know who these people are to you, but let them go. I am not saying that if it is family, to never see them again, I am saying that in order to be free, acceptance is key. You cannot change how they behave towards you, but you can change how you percieve YOURSELF and that is the most important thing. Once you can unconditionally accept that fact, the darkness will start to lift. It is not an easy road. It requires changing habits of a lifetime in some cases, but it can be done. Do not approach with anger or self-pity, but approach with love for self and the knowledge that you deserve better. Telling people that you deserve to be treated better does not work, if you are not living by those same expectations yourself. I learnt that lesson the hard way, many times over

Take good care of self, and all else will follow.

Michah

[mom88cat]

dear This is Me. I read your post with sadness and understanding. Understanding because I also know the feeling of being the screw-up. With sadness because you are obviously trying so hard to meet others expectations. I concur with Michah that you must not judge yourself against others expectations. But I understand how hard that is. My best advice for you is to be kind to yourself because only you can do that. Just by trying to a better person is a huge step and something to be praised. None of us is perfect. We all make mistakes sometimes many mistakes but ultimately we are here because God loves us. He loves us even when we make mistakes and is always there to give us a helping hand when we need it. Don't give up on yourself. I won't and God never will....

[LightBlueButterfly]

I always thought that I had to make everyone else happy so that I could be happy. I learned that now it's time for me to be happy. I use to think that no matter what I did, it wasn't good enough for someone (especially at work). Now I'm pressing forward and doing the best that I can be. I do the best that I can and if it's not good for everyone else then I'm sorry. I can only do what I can do. Keep your head up and do the best that you can do. You know that you are not a screw-up. We all have things in our past that we are not proud of, I know that I do. We learn from our mistakes and move on. Sending hugs your way!

[Fuzzybear]

[33yankee33]

Hi ThisIsMe. I understand completely what it's like to be judged by you past. I'm a recovered alcoholic and I did some crazy things, hurtful things, embarrassing things in my past. Well I've been sober for over three years now, which is not very long, but I've made amends to those I hurtand am now a spiritual loving person. I finally had to learn to ease out those people that continued to try and beat me down. Know that you are a precious child of God. I will pray for you.