[recluse1]

i always respong to "how r u" type questions with fine or ok. but i am not always ok. and right now i am far from ok. i am so stressed out and depressed i feel like i am going to just lose it at anytime. and it doesn't help when you go into chat for support and some little punk starts making antagonizing remarks because you go to church. so i left the room. i am now bawling my eyes out. which is probably good since i have held this all in for so long.

please pray for me. i am in much need of it. i am an emotional wreck and i need God's help to find my way.
please pray for strength and healing. i need it soo soo badly right now. i dont know what to do to fix this or to make it right. i am just lost in this depression and can't find a way out. please pray for me.

My prayers are with you. Breath now. Focus on your breathing for a while. Our breath is our spirit. Let it draw you to a place of calm. Stay in the moment with your breath. Acknowledge other thoughts trying to pull you away but return to your breath. Stay with your breath as long as you can. Acknowledging other thoughts and feelings but always coming back to your breath.

That exercise helps pull me out of many those pit dives you describe. Don't try to make it right. Making it through is all you want to deal with right now. Getting some rest from your pain is what you want to achieve right now. Breathing can provide you a focus for meditation. It's even more effective for me if combined with nature. Sitting in the forest, walking along the river, gazing at the stars, holding a rock can become a source of mediation and a channel of strength.

Detach yourself from the negative thoughts and feelings by focusing on something that takes no effort to appreciate. Earth, wind, fire and water...... channelling God's love and power to you.

Blessings.

I pray for you my friend... each and every day... and now.. I will pray more... that God will give you strength... and that he will hold you in His arms...

ps.... on the topic of saying we are ok when we aren't..... I've turned it into a coping skill. I used to do say I was ok when I wasn't and wonder why it was so automatic to pretend. I'd feel dishonest sometimes or lonely from the isolation that came from hiding my true feelings. I'd rationalize it was the polite thing to do. People generally ask the question without much thought so I figure people generally don't want an answer with much thought behind it.

Recently I've started to respond to that query a little bit differently. When asked "How are you?" I may feel very badly but I'm programmed to respond positively so its automatic for me to say "Fine" or something akin to that. It was always equally automatic for me to feel even worse for having lied or isolated myself. That's the part I've changed. Now when I hear myself offer the tapped response I run myself through a mental exercise. I add a smile to the reply. I take a few seconds to focus on the smile. How my skin feels. How my eyes feel. How I'm sitting or standing. I let the smile minister to me and pull me closer to the feeling fine for real. If I've really benefitted from the exercise I'll find myself repeating my reply with a greater grain of truth the second time.

Hope you don't mind me sharing some of the things that have been working for me lately. I know so well your pain and it pains me to know others suffer like this. I pray your tears were able to minister to you and that you are feeling better by the time you visit the boards again. I pray your pain passes quickly.

[recluse1]

((((((((freewill)))))))) thank you so much my friend. it is such a comfort to me to know i have you there behind me, pushing me on, praying, and loving. you are a gentle soul and i love you.

recluse1

[recluse1]

(((((((chocolatelover)))))) ty for your prayer and your comforting advice. i truly do appreciate you and i think your suggestions are wonderful. again, thank you so much.

recluse1

glad you are feeling better. hope things continue to look brighter for you.

[AAAAA]

Recluse,

I'm happy to hear you're feeling better. I pray that you continue to heal and remain strong.

[recluse1]

(((((((AAAAA)))))))) thank you for your kind words of comfort. and i so much appreciate the prayers.

[SweetSunshine]

(((((((( Recluse))))))))) I cant offer you much more than a hug right now. So sorry your having to go thru all this stuff. Thinking of you dear one.

recluse, if you need to talk I am a pm away. Just give me a yell. Hope all is a little better. Please pm if you need to talk

[Peacemaker]

Just said a prayer for you for strength and healing. I think it is wonderful that you go to church especially if you find some peace and solace by going. i don't understand why any of the "punks" would ridicule you regarding going to church. It certainly is nothing that is shameful. Maybe they kick you for going because they know that is where they need to be.

Sending you lots of love, peace, and hugs. I have had several severe depressions and can empathize about how disabling they are. People tend not to understand and sometimes criticize and such.

I'll keep praying for you. All of us (excepting the punks) are concerned for your welfare. We're there for you. God knows that you have so selflessly helped so many others.

God Bless,
Peacemaker (Sherri)

[recluse1]

(((((muffy))))) (((((((sweet)))))) ((((((peacemaker))))))

i thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your love and support. just to know i am not alone seems to ease a little of this anxiety. your replies have truly touched my heart and i am so thankful for each of you.

may God bless you as you have blessed me.
recluse1

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( recluse1 ))))))))))))))

[(JD)]

I'm sorry some of our younger members haven't learn empathy yet.

I think the main thing that helps, though it "sounds" like minimalizing, is to focus on others and on God when depressed. Depression makes us focus on ourselves and makes everything around us look bleak and hopeless. When we can put our efforts or at least our thoughts on others, and certainly upon God, that not only takes the focus off ourselves, but puts them to good use for others, and gives us strength from God, our Father.



Some people don't understand that people of faith can become depressed. I take this moment to say that people of faith are human beings, just like everyone else-- except that Christians are different in that we're forgiven.

[1oxbowgirl]

Smiles of encouragement and lots of hugs are sent your way. Not everyone believes in God, or wants to have a close relationship with him. It makes my heart glad that you do. For me it is the glue that holds me together when all looks lost and I get very depressed. If I didn't believe in God, in these moments when all is dark and bleak I would have lost my way. I have said a prayer for you and will contine to keep you in my thoughts and prayers hoping you start feeling better. This is really a great site for people who are lost and in need of comfort. This site gives me an anchor that helps keep me from drifting away. Please keep coming and posting. I look forward to talking with you some day.

[nowheretorun]

((((((((((((((((((recluse1))))))))))))))))))

[recluse1]

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. i am feeling a bit better at this point. and as far as what happened in chat the other day, i decided that this kid too has problems. the biggest that he must be a lost soul. so instead of continueing to be angry or feeling sorry for myself, i started to pray for him. he too needs help, above all he needs God's help.

thank you again for all you do
recluse1

((((((recluse))))

I only just saw this post, sorry...I hope you are feeling better, put the person on ignore for a while. Like you say, they have problems too, but still, no need for rudeness...

love you, Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo you are so kind the way you forgive people, I wish I had your patience!!!!

[KathyM]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
_Sky said:
I'm sorry some of our younger members haven't learn empathy yet.

I think the main thing that helps, though it "sounds" like minimalizing, is to focus on others and on God when depressed. Depression makes us focus on ourselves and makes everything around us look bleak and hopeless. When we can put our efforts or at least our thoughts on others, and certainly upon God, that not only takes the focus off ourselves, but puts them to good use for others, and gives us strength from God, our Father.



Some people don't understand that people of faith can become depressed. I take this moment to say that people of faith are human beings, just like everyone else-- except that Christians are different in that we're forgiven.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Maybe the "punk" wasn't a Christian. If you entered a chatroom and found a young Muslim girl feeling drained by life, wouldn't you be tempted to pull her away from her religion and convert her to your own?

Recluse, you're in a tough situation. It's almost impossible to tell the good from the bad these days because they all claim to wear the same label. It's possible this "punk" was abused in some way "in the name of God" and wants to protect himself from triggers by lashing out.

[ECHOES]

(( recluse 1))

A book you might find comforting: "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron. http:www.shambhala.com

I hope you're feeling better

[recluse1]

KathyM,

i am kind of perplexed by your response. i in no way have tried to shove my religious beliefs down anyone's throat, nor would i ever. i was having a conversation w/someone else when this kid started in on me. everyone is entitled to their faith, whether it be the same as mine or not, it is a personal choice. and i respect that. i would just like the same respect shown to me.

after i got over being angry and started looking at the situation from the outside instead of in the midst of it, i saw this kid as someone with problems and not just as the "punk" that had upset me so much. i tried to think of him and not of myself. so i began to pray for him that he might find the help and the answers he seeks. you are right, he may have lashed out because of a trigger. either way, it was put upon my heart to pray for him. That God, might help this young man find his way to healing.

if that seems to you to be wrong or horrible of me to do......well, i don't know what to say to that.

ur in my prayers recluse

Beautiful to see the healing power of God's love minister to you and turn your heart to praying for this young man. I join you in those prayers and I give thanks for believers like you who truly walk your talk. You are a living example of God's love. May we all live with just a capacity for kindness.

Bless you Recluse..... and may God bless the young man who is seeking His love. May your witness reach his heart.

you have my support.. and my prayers.. always...